We are married 6 months now. He abused me twice and since he did it for the first time he promised me not to do it again, so he broken his promise and did it again... he yells at me like a crazy... What should I do?? Please give me serious answes.
2006-10-27 20:25:19 · 49 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It doesn't stop. Get out, separate. It's ultimatum time. tell him to seek counseling alone. If he follows through, go to counseling together if you still want the marriage.
Be thankful that you only have 6 months invested in this.
~T~
2006-10-27 20:29:13 · answer #1 · answered by ~*bUtteRFy~*~kISSeS*~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GET OUT!!!!
Last year a woman who after years of abuse and broken promises to stop, finally left her husband. He followed her to a local gas station. Where she was sitting in her car with their 13 year old daughter and he put a shotgun in the woman's face and blew her away right in front of his own child!
Why do you believe that you deserve to be abused? Do you think you should be yelled at and hit? Because if you stay that's what you are telling him. You are telling him that he owns you and he can do anything he wants to do to you. Don't you think you are worth more than that? You know what? HE doesn't and he is controling you with sad puppy dog eyes and "I'm sorry" 'till the cows come home!
Get out while you still can. There is no hope for jerks like him. He'll say he's changed over and over but it's a lie. And you know something? Most of the people I have known in abusive relationships are cheated on too and not with just one other woman but many.. So, he really doesn't love you. He loves controling you. He loves knowing that you'll be there with supper on the table and knowing that he'll do what ever he feels like to you in the bedroom because that's all you are to him. And you know that's the case or else you wouldn't be posting here tonight.
Chalk it up to a lesson learned and get the heck out of there! And call the cops on him okay? He needs to be taught that there are rules that even he must follow.
Thank some responsibility for your own life, girl!
2006-10-27 20:40:52 · answer #2 · answered by Moon_Lacey 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The serious answer you are looking for is staring you in the face so I don't know that you will actually leave him like you should since you know it and are still asking.
The first time it happens, shame on him and if it happens again you leave...if you continue to stay after two incidences...you need to get some help. It is well known that these men always feel remorse after the fact but that means nothing if they continue to do it. Obviously the remorse felt the first time it happened had no bearing on the second occurrence of abuse. We all get angry, how we deal with it is what's important. I may say a few choice words and leave the room (of course my husband isn't violent and instead of abusing me he takes that time to reflect on what I said and the reason why I said it). When he is angry he does the same. That is what happens in a loving marriage. There is no need for violence since we aren't trying to control each other but simply trying to live together happily in our union of marriage.
When the relationship becomes violent, it has crossed a line that cannot be ignored. You may someday or already do have children and they learn about relationships by the example of their parents. Not to mention, no woman or man should be victimized by the person they love and claims to love them. It is quite possible that he loves you but he needs to get some counseling on anger management and possibly more.
Plainly put, get out now and if you want you have the option of giving him ultimatum on seeking counseling before you would consider taking him back. You should also consider getting counseling for yourself because there is something that attracted you to this man and it will attract you to this kind of man over and over again unless you figure it out. Best of luck and take care of yourself.
2006-10-27 20:45:15 · answer #3 · answered by chrissy757 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you should report it to the local authorities. Get a check-up at the local hospital if necessary, should you want to lodge a complain against your husband.
If you are lost and really need somebody to talk to about your frustrations, fears and worries, why not try the local women's shelter or counselling group?
It's good to have somebody to talk to first before you jump the wagon and make decisions that you might come to regret.
Abusive husbands tend to apologize when just a glimmer of reality shines through the madness inside. Promises mean nothing, and the abuse will eventually get worse if you do not plan your next move.
If you still love him, why not talk to him, find out what is wrong?
People usually release their vented anger by leashing out at the people that they love, like what happens when a person is drunk. It does not mean that he loves you less, though. He just needs something, someone to take it all out on.
Then again, please reconsider the divorce IF you are carrying his child, or have any emotional attachments to him. Having a child and at the same time trying to get a divorce might be very messy business.
Take it slowly from there...
Good luck!!
2006-10-27 20:35:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out NOW!!! Abuse always worsens. You've only been married 6 months and he's already abusive...imagine what it will be like in 6 years when you have kids to worry about. Any form of abuse is unacceptable. He may beg you to come back and promise it will never happen again...but it will. Go to family or friends for support and if you must, go to a Battered Womens center. There you will be safe and they will help you get your life back on track. I wish you the best
2006-10-27 20:30:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if someone does it once they'll do it again, & again, & again. Don't trust him!! Don't count on the cops getting you out either. They'll be the ones to draw the chalk line.
Since he's done it twice, get divorced & get a restraining order. Don't fall for his sly tongue.
He'll be using it to keep you in an "abuse cycle".
Get rid of him as soon as possible. If you can find a place to stay for a few days, please do so for your own saftey. This is not a joke.
Make sure you fill in the details of what's been going on to the person you're staying with. They might be able to help you.
Hope you take this very seriously. Have a good day.
2006-10-27 21:01:58 · answer #6 · answered by Jarod R 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave and if he is unwilling to get counseling and accept a separation until his problems are sorted out then I would divorce. If you don't feel comfortable with a divorce because of your faith then I would seek WISE counsel with your pastor. Whatever you do talk to someone and get to a safe place. He already broke the promise to never hit you again so why take a chance and let it get worse. Your husband needs help. Help that you cannot give him right now. Six months is not a long time. Please don't wait till it's been twenty years before you get out.
2006-10-27 20:58:15 · answer #7 · answered by m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That the classic, textbook definition of a repeating abuser. He'll apologize, tell you it'll never happen again, things will seem good for a while, and then Boom! he does it again.
Get out before you're in too deep. Also, document each and every time he does it. Contact the police, as well as a friend or family member you can confide in. You're not alone in this.
Good luck!
2006-10-27 20:29:21 · answer #8 · answered by catwomanmeeeeow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u h'v not mentioned your problem clearly..does he drink or h'v unwanted friends or relations-hope u understand...u must try to attract him by good ways.u can try out doing meditation and pray to god sincerely.try to wash away the sins u h'v done-be it small or big.help others, be true t others who believe in u.never girl never change ur track away from being good.if u do so i'm sure the saviour of the world will bless u by turning ur h'band into a loving and affectionate person to u-underline you.never choose the enemy of a married couple-THE DIVORCE.don't talk to any other male happily.just t'lk for needs. be true to your beloved and wacth the miracle.He will surely be true to u.When i a girl of 12 can advice u just as a sister -u must take seriously .ok.then watch u both will make the best couple in the world.please follow my points.god is always with u.prayers from me-i;m leaving bye!!!!remember my words for they will make ur's a happy life.
2006-10-27 20:43:44 · answer #9 · answered by Meena 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out!If they do it once They'll do it again and again and again and than some day you'll have children and someday they'll cry to much or spill a drink and the'll be abused If he never hit them they would be learning to hit woman, accept abuse solve their problems with violence .You Have an opportunity to get out before it comes to this Before he kills your self confidence,Waste years of your life. No matter what you ever did in the past you don't deserve this. no matter how fat or ugly or no good you think you are you don't deserve this,Do you think this guy understands you better than anyone? He does .He understand how to control you.Manipulate you. keep you from friends and family He's just an imature baby that strikes out when he doesn't get his way. God gives us one life to Live ,Are you going to waste it like this,I 'm sure when you dreamed of your marraige this is not what you had in mind.You haven't reach your marraige goal yet he's not the one. the quicker you get rid of him the quicker you can regain control of your destiny, don't let a crazy man decide your fate. I really hope you take me serious,I didn't have anyone to talk to me like this and it took me seven years to get out, I left the day he turned on the kids.Why didn't I feel worthy to defend myself like I did my Kids?Because I didn't want to admit I made such a huge mistake in marriage, I didn't want to hear my family say i told you so. I suffered much more than that, put his *** in jail press charges follow through let him know your not gonna take that crap and get out have a happy life and don't look back
2006-10-27 20:56:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A husband should never hit his wife, and a wife should never hit her husband. Hitting people is illegal. It's called Domestic Abuse, and you can have him arrested for it. Do not wait around for him to hit you again, then next time he hits you he could kill you. Getting hit in the head with a fist can cause all kinds of damage to the brain and blood vessles, getting hit can kill you. Leave him before it's too late. Get a restraining order so he can't come near you to hit you again. Good Luck.
2006-10-27 20:28:19 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋