I'm married going on four years and when I first got married I believed that I was in love and as the time goes by my husband just acts like doesn't care and doesn't ever show LOVE to me ...and in the past year I see this guy in town every day when I pick my child up from school..it's seems as if we have some connection and we hve never spoke before...I stay in town to see if I will see him..cause everytime I see him I feel like I know love....do you think I'm in love with this man ?
2006-10-27 18:53:56 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
We don't have a child together she is my child from a former husband and my husband says that saying "I Love You " should be enough..he will not try marriage counceling...he thinks everything is OK all the time until I tell this is not. As far as sex goes he wants me to come on to him instead of vice-versa.
2006-10-27 19:13:52 · update #1
Being in love, at the very least, is about knowing and caring for a person, and so far you have only referred to having 'seen' this man. You need to re-direct your focus back to your marriage and try to find out whether this is still the man that you want to spend the rest of your life with. Try talking with your husband about his lack of attention and love...he may not even realize he is depriving you of it. You may have simply fallen into a rut that can be fixed with a little work from both sides, and is certainly worth the effort, especially when you have a child.
2006-10-27 19:12:57 · answer #1 · answered by immortal.beloved 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you really need some kind of wake up call. You NEVER turn outside of your marriage to solve your problems. You need to work on what you and your husband have first. If you think something is wrong, put in the work to fix it. Sure, it might seem like a daunting task, or like that requires more effort than just being with someone new, but that is the right thing to do and it is what you committed to when you said "I do". You agreed to be together "for better or for worse". You shouldn't take that vow lightly because it's not what you thought it would be. Make it what you want it to be... yes it is difficult, but whoever told you marriage would be easy is wrong. Think down the line for a moment. Would you rather be fixing your marriage? Or get a divorce and breaking your family apart to have a passionate love affair with some guy from town just to have that relationship end up right where your current one is. And eventually you'll do that over and over again until you're just too old to do it. Stick with what you've got and make it amazing. Put in the work! It is worth it.
2006-10-27 18:59:12 · answer #2 · answered by Stephanie S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's easy to experience infatuation, especially from a distance. I'm sure this person gives you the same "roller coaster" feelings your husband once did. Marriage and love aren't about the "in love" feeling. They're about commitment. I'm not telling you to stay in your marriage if you're unhappy but are you truly unhappy or has your relationship just hit a doldrum? It's common. I recommend taking a couples break and going away for a weekend with your husband and NO children. If you want out, it should be for the right reasons and being attracted to a stranger is definitely Not the right reason.
2006-10-27 19:03:48 · answer #3 · answered by Lynda M ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in love with the idea of a new exciting relationship. Your marriage can be that way too. Talk to you husband about your feelings. Don't throw away a good marriage for a might be. Don't be stupid and don't stay with someone you don't love if you don't. Think about what you are doing before you do something that you will regret.
Be sure that the greener grass is really what you want. Not just a roll with someone new.
2006-10-27 19:01:27 · answer #4 · answered by joanne_happygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are married and once married you have a tie up and bond towards your family. You even have a child and seems that your marriage is not altogether haywire.
You mentined that your husband does not show love and has a carefree attitude. It could be possible that it could be on account of something from your side or it could be just your feeling.
Man normally do show their feelings and in particular to their beloved ones but they care and do not want to show their emotions.
May be after your child's birth you too would have distanced yourself from him. Try to search yourself and see what change has come in you and amend it and you two could be back to normal.
But no way no way try or even think of the other way, thats going to be disaster for all.
2006-10-27 19:14:28 · answer #5 · answered by shrimal_sandeep 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are looking and talking to other men then you are not satisfied at home, just you thinking about it is proof of that, if you love your husband then the two of you need to talk and get to the root of the problem, tell him how you feel neglected and taken for granted, seek therapy he is not willing to change then move on, and no you are not in love with this other man but you do have a strong physical attraction for him
2006-10-27 18:58:58 · answer #6 · answered by kalela L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you love this other man. You are trying to find something that is lacking in your life.
Your husband has to remember that love is a verb. If saying it would be enough children would never be disciplined.
If your husband refuses to see a counselor you should go alone, if for nothing else but to sort out your emotions.
Hope this helps
2006-10-27 21:17:11 · answer #7 · answered by pepisfrugil 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried talking with your husband for his unusual behaviour before and after marriage?I think that you probably needs attention from your partner but when you don't get it you just find alternatives. So i guess you only had a crush and not love. Think carefully about your relationship with your husband before starting another. For all you know your husband might have his own reasons for neglecting you? That's my own view, you might not want to take it. But remember you have a kid, he/she might be hurt if the family eventually break off.
2006-10-27 19:06:03 · answer #8 · answered by Loo K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It souds to me like a typical marriage. In most mariages things fade. And there is always someone else that seems more intresting and exciting then the person that you are with. I don't think you are in love wtih this person. I think you are infatuated with him because your unhappy in your marriage. Talk to your husband tell him really how you feel. When I have problems like this with my husband I just talk to him about them. And we work it out. But if you try to talk to your husband and it dosen't make any difference. And you are really unhappy. Then move on. I mean life is too short to spend it with someone that you are not happy with.
2006-10-27 19:08:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No..
You and more importantly your husband have fallen out of lust over
the past 4 yrs. and you are seeking to find some more lust..
You have become infatuated with the new man in hopes of rekindling some lust....
You need to tell your husband the problem and it is up to him to
fix it....He is the husband, it is his job....If he cannot or will not fix the problem, then, and only then, can you consider finding a new / better husband...And remember, lust always diminishes with time....
2006-10-27 18:59:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋