I'm Married, He's Married?

Question

I have been married for 6 years, he has been for almost 15. Neither of us want to leave our spouses but we are in love despite an 18 year age difference. I am moving to another country in 2 weeks and am being torn apart inside. i know i have to leave but how can i make it easier?

Answer 1

I hate to say it, but you both are breaking the sanctity of your marriages. You both made commitments to your spouses, you're breaking them. I watched my mom date a married man, and it backfired in her face, because he went back to his wife. Don't screw up your life, I beg you.

Answer 2

There is really nothing that will make it easier, except maybe break away now. I've been in that she's/He's married too! It just doesn't work out, never. You'll begin to realize that the very same things that drove you to each other, will drive you apart. In the end, she didn't love me....she loved the idea that someone made her feel sexy and hot... the attention, the thrill of being wanted and needed. The holidays really suck.... You wind up just being miserable. I'll admit the thrill of the forbidden is intoxicating. Just turns out, what you were after is what you already had.

Answer 3

cherish the times you have had. sometimes we find out we have a kindred soul after we have already made a commitment to someone else. I know it seems wrong but this is a secret chapter in your life where you have discovered a new you and maybe learned some things you would not have otherwise. leaving is never easy, but make a clean break and keep the shared times your secret, never, and i mean never, feel you need to tell your spouse. That never makes things better and usually destroys your marriage, your family, and your life, if later on the two of you consider, making some life changes to get together, keep his address or his phone number and call once in a while if you choose to to just talk.

Answer 4

By remembering both of you are married and neither of you are willing to leave your spouses so there is no real point in a relationship between the two of you anyways.

Answer 5

It's probably for the best that you are relocating. The two of you are married and think how you would feel if the shoes were on the other foot.
If you know you aren't going to leave your husband why continue with this thing or whatever you call it?
Move on, concentrate on your marriage or leave..

Answer 6

There is no way to make it easy. Just go and never look back OR get a divorce and stay? your heart can only be in one place at a time. Try talking to his wife and your husband all at the same time and see if your husband likes his wife? maybe you can do a swap? Stranger things have happened believe me.

Answer 7

You cannot make it easier..
You knew how this would end when you let it get started...
Now you just have to bear the pain and move on with hubby...
Time will heal your wounded heart and just hope hubby does
not find out about it and give you additional wounds...

Answer 8

try getting a divorce first then he just might as well let you really see who was the loser well if he really cared by nowhe would have divorced his wife don you think so. this fellow isnt going no place but back home to her in time you see who looks like used meat. this is called a player hon men are very good at this in my opion?

Answer 9

A few tokes of some good weed might help take the edge off...

Then when you arrive in the new country, find a new undercover lover. In no time, you'll forget all about him.

Answer 10

I definetely can empathize your position. A friend can make it easier. You need a friend or a few friends who will support you in the decisions you make. Then all you have to do is make the decision.