It is in my nature to destroy myself yet the process by which I do this is the only way I feel comfortable in life. It goes like this: I work very, very hard for what I want and then when I get it I don't want it. So why do I strive for everything that I want so dearly in life but then deny it when it's offered? It's like, all I want is the offer not the prize. It's like if I get the prize then the game is over with. I then have no fight anymore and will destroy the prize, set myself up for distruction, or just run away from it, I suppose so I can look for another fight. I guess to sum it up: I love to strive my hardest for success but I absolutely must not like success or i'd accept it when it presents itself. Why do I do this?
2006-10-27 18:20:12 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I think everybody is like this, if you look around we're all chasing happiness in some form. I guess the question we should ask ourselves, is what we're working so hard at, really producing the results we want?
Why do we work so hard? Just for sub-sistence? To get things? I think you're asking all the right questions. I know i've asked these things too, in my personal case anyway, i didn't stop trying to be better at my work, but i just didn't put all my energy into one thing.
I think the very basis of happiness is already in us, a calm, peaceful mind...the things we do in life, they are very much extra...a bit over the top sometimes. Maybe we just need to step back a bit.
2006-10-27 18:24:31 · answer #1 · answered by Samten 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like, subconciously you don't believe that you deserve success. Either that, or it scares you. If you would've said that you simply move on to a different challenge after attaining a certain goal, I'd have surmised that you just liked a challenge: you were a Type 'A' personality. Maybe a workaholic.
But to destroy whay you've strived for pretty much indicates a deep-hidden self-loathing. There's something inside you that says: "Man, I don't deserve this. I'm more comfortably at the bottom." After awhile, is can get to be sort of an addiction: people like the feeling of clawing their way back up again. But as long as the deep-seated guilt is there. it will be an endless cycle which will worsen as you get older.
2006-10-28 01:31:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the topic question of why you do..., but then begin with details about your nature. Yes many others do similar things, but they may have different reasons for what they do. It sounds like you want to change & feel better about yourself. I comend you on that. Some things we do (& it is healthy) for doing things just for the sake of doing it (or them). Then when it is finished or over, we go on to something else. Playing a game for many is the most fun, regardless of winning or losing. Nothing wrong with that. However, I sense there is more to your question(s) & think you will not reach complete satisfaction with answers in this web format. You may want to consider talking with a professional counselor or therapist to help you through some of your questions. It may take a while to peal back some layers of an onion skin, but you can do it if willing & with the right person to help. After you do, then you will be able to move on to other phases of personal growth.
2006-10-28 01:40:51 · answer #3 · answered by Counselor 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The trick is to figure out what you get out of something not what you don't get. So for example, when you work hard on something you probably feel self esteem. You are focused and feel like you have value, maybe feel some pride. There is more to it but the idea being that when you are working on something that is what makes you feel better. Once you attain it you see your value dwindle and need to move onto the next thing.
The next question is where did you learn this behaviour from. It is most likely something that you played out as a child with your parents, most likely your father.
2006-10-28 01:27:15 · answer #4 · answered by sdh0407 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you are actually afraid of succeeding-- that if you realize you can be successful that you'll have to live up to those standards all of the time, or even that others will expect that of you.
You aren't alone, however. A LOT of people feel this way. And, even if it isn't fear of success, lots of people enjoy "the chase", of whatever it is, more than they enjoy "the prize"... that is a natural feeling, I think.
2006-10-28 17:16:02 · answer #5 · answered by optimismopski 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, you are looking for happiness but you buy things to attain that happiness. Could it be that your spirit is crying out for more? The spirit within you is the one needing something and you need to tend to that. Until you find the reason you will be chasing after things you do not want. Try reading the word and getting to know who you are in Christ. God Bless!
Revelation 3:20
Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.
John 3:16"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,[a] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
2006-10-28 01:29:47 · answer #6 · answered by The_answer_person 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why dont u achieve those goals to inspire others or share it with them. it's much more fulfilling when u see ur success ripple off to other people. and when you do that just let me know :) cheer up buddy!
2006-10-28 01:42:04 · answer #7 · answered by tagaCEBU 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At least your better than me. I tend to destroy what I have while I have it. Always strive to be your best...just don't let it be all you are.
2006-10-28 01:32:51 · answer #8 · answered by tequillajenny 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not the fish, it's the fishing. Lots of people are that way. Cheer up --you are not alone.
2006-10-28 01:26:02 · answer #9 · answered by chr1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't think that you already succeed when you reached your goal. instead think of it as you only done a part of the never ending quest for power. hehe
2006-10-28 01:23:53 · answer #10 · answered by pao 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋