it's depressing when i think about it. i'm attractive, slender, smart, have a very good job, i'm nice, yada yada yada, yet i've never had a boyfriend. as a teen i was shy. as an adult i've been on many dates but i've never dated a guy wherein we call each other girlfriend or boyfriend. i've never introduced a man to my parents or friends b/c i've never dated anyone long enough to do that? i assume it's because i keep picking the wrong guy. seriously, i don't know what's up with me. by the way, because i've never dated anyone, i've never told a guy that i love him.
2006-10-27 18:07:21 · 22 answers · asked by ca belle 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
to answer some of your questions. i am not too picky. i date any race, any income, any job and i've dated everything from unattractive guys that my friends teased me about to really good looking model types. no matter what it never goes beyond a month or two. i don't have sex on the first date. i try to wait until i think they are interested in me and not sex, but maybe they are just willing to wait long enough to get the sex, then they bolt. twice in my life i broke up with the guy b/c he exhibited hostile behavor. otherwise, i am always the one who is "dumped." i used to think that i was boring and that's why guys left after the initial attraction. EVERY guy i've dated always refers to me as "cute, smart and sexy." I've come to hate those 3 words.
2006-10-27 18:23:12 · update #1
further clarification. i have been on dates. i don't consider dates ( a few dinners) the same as dating someone for 1 or 2 years that is your boyfriend. also to those who question my attractiveness, i am often described as "hot." my male dates all call me "hot" then later it turns into "cute, smart and sexy." people (male and female) ask me if i've ever modeled or if i'm an actress. i've had people stop me in the streets to tell me how "beautiful" i am. seriously, it's not the looks i assure you. btw, i don't think i'm so hot (self esteem issues i'm sure, but everyone else thinks i am). i don't post my pic b/c all types of weirdos always contact me when i do and it scares me.
2006-10-27 18:45:07 · update #2
well honey my guess is u haven't found the one u r willing to give the chance with ur heart. there is nothing wrong with u, u probably have walls up.
i am in my 30s and only been in love once. i have a hard time giving my heart to anyone else, afraid they will tear me up.
to many people cheating now days.
so many don't have morals or values. it takes loyalty and honesty to make it work, and so many aren't willing to do that. if ur like me u read yahoo Q/A and see all the hurt, cheating, and B.S. that it makes the walls go higher. sometimes i get down thinking i never been married and the older i get it isn't looking to promising, it makes me sad, because i used to be such a giver and a hopless romantic, but am afraid i don't have anything left for anyone.
so like u i have a good job and spend alot of hrs working.
sorry don't mean to be so negitive (don't worry honey u'll find him when u least expect it :)
maybe u have over look him when he was rt in front of u.
2006-10-27 18:35:10 · answer #1 · answered by jesse james 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't make sense- you say you've been on many dates . . . and then you say you've never dated anyone.
Look, if you've never had a boyfriend, and you are 30, don't gloss over the attractive part. Attractive does not mean your friends tell you that you are attractive. It's a whole different thing with guys- WE have to think you are attractive, and there is no getting around that, no politically correcting that. We have to be silly, crazy, stupid attracted to you to ask you out. Being shy should not matter one bit- if you are attractive, just BE, it's the guys that have to DO.
I'm telling you as a guy- do you have short hair? Grow it long. Do you have any cleavage? SHOW it, and if you don't, GROW it, with all the special kinds of bras there are now. Wear perfume, that gets us, it's worth it. Very Irresistible is good. So is Sunflowers. We don't care about shoes, we care about jeans.
OK, now once you get a guy to date, YOU have to plant the idea in his head about becoming closer- otherwise, we'll just keep on going on date to date. If you make out at his house, start to accidentally leave stuff there.
2006-10-27 18:19:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
Hm. There must be some reason you do not want to be in a relationship. Do you not want to have relationship? Are you scared to? Do you not know how? Were you abused? Do your parents have a poor relationship?
How long do you usually date a guy for? Do you have sex with them (not that that's bad, just a question)? Has a guy ever wanted to pursue a relationship with you and you told him no? What is the right guy, and does he exist? Do you want to love someone? Do you have other friends? How do you meet friends or partners?
2006-10-27 18:14:40 · answer #3 · answered by stevejensen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you are slender, smart and have a good Job. Now think if you are been open and honest with your feelings. if so than its good. You have to make the guys feel, know they want you. You must be a little mesterious about your personality but not to were you scare them, don't show you know everything, guys may be tempted to not like that or be afraid at times. Good luck, Be patient-the best comes late.
2006-10-27 18:20:48 · answer #4 · answered by crusader 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well do you spread yourself to thin for a man i've found that the prettiest of women share this problem I was one of em'.If he called me at midnight saying pick him up I was there,if he said he was hungry I was cooking etc..etc..but being a dormat is probably the biggest turn off for a woman,and you know what the more I think about it the more I come to terms with the fact that there's somebody for everybody and maybe your special somebody jjust hasn't come along yet.And that doesn't necessarily mean that there is something wrong with you,maybe it,s something wrong with the men.
2006-10-27 19:03:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
...this may not be alot of advise but it may help...
take it slow,
dont chace after the guys, let them chace after u!
eventualy the right one will come!
if a guy turns out to like u and u dont know if its gunna work out, dont take the date just because ur desperate!
take the time to look for someone that u think is goin to treat u the way u want to be treated!!
and another hint....being in love isnt always the best of thing...its amazing to be in love but after everything falls apart w/ u and ur loved one ur world clashes and everythign falls apart!
in ways it has its advantages and disadvantages!
2006-10-27 18:46:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in your position as well...I never dated in junior school, high school, or university. I figured after reaching the age of 32, I would never have a boyfriend and was destined to be alone...All my of my relatives were either engaged, married, or dating--but not me....That all changed recently. I met a wonderful guy and we have been dating for 7 months...If it can happen to me, it will definitely happen to you and you will have that chance to tell him one day that you love him. Good luck and trust in destiny.
2006-10-27 18:17:26 · answer #7 · answered by Miss J 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ok, as long as you are as you say you are....slender, good looking, attractive...that right there is enough for you to ge a bf...guys do not care about smarts, etc until after the first date/phone conversation....we want to find the best looking girl we can with our looks and then see if we are compatible and she has what we want in a person....so, looks get you in the door, but you have to do the rest... so, here is my advice....best chances to get a good guy come from having many friends...so as to introduce you to their boyfriends friend....or go out and meet with another group that someone in your group knows...so go out with friends every chance you get and bypass blind dates,the internet, and random guys asking you out or vice versa...that just spells trouble...everyone is different and your time will come...promise!
2006-10-27 18:13:09 · answer #8 · answered by derek s 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You seem like a very private person. No personalization in your pic, no IM allowed, no email allowed. Maybe don't put up so many barriers, you'll find it is easier to talk to people, and meet someone who has common interests. I'm not talking about the internet per se - I am using your online-presence as an indicator of your personality.
2006-10-27 18:11:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
Strange...I guess it is just bad luck...Maybe you should wait a little longer to have sex with them if they bolt afterwards. Not enough time for them to want all of you...hell I dont know...
2006-10-27 18:25:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋