I am an empty nester an depressed.?

Question

What suggestions do you have. I am feeling useless and depressed. I have an unfullfilling job, my kids don't need me or want to be around me.(they have their own lives) I practically live alone. Youngest is here but not really around.

Answer 1

sounds to me like its time to go out and have some fun. you can sit around feeling sorry for yourself, or do something about it. sometimes people get into a phase where they thrive on feeling worthless, and others around them notice. it boils down to your kids have a life and you dont. if you complain about it to them, then its no wonder they dont come around. would you? ive been in both places, so i know what it feels like. the only one who can change things is you. the first step is breaking your routine. its hard, but once you get past that, youll see there is life out there. i may be completely off, but i dont think so. look for a singles club that has regular activities, or something like that, but you need to get out. good luck

Answer 2

No matter how hold someone's kids are it is stilll nice for their mothers to have a home that is friendly and welcoming when they visit - so one thing to make sure you do is continue to decorate for holidays and changes of seasons, and make sure to have a whimsical thing or two around to make you (and any guest smile). Don't think that because you don't have young children you don't have to bother. Halloween, for example - both for the kids that show up. It can be fun to hand out candy and set things up in a way that makes a nice Halloween for kids coming up the walk.

With all due respect, its kind of awful that you've described yourself as an "empty-nester" when you still have one of your kids at home.

Read something that will get your interesting in reading more - non-fiction is good. You can study up on a subject and keep buying books on that subject. When you're sick of it, read about a different subject that interests you. Don't just read one book on any subject. Read as much about it as you can for a few months or longer before moving on. It may be the only way you can really get interested in something separate from your own life.

Socialize a little more than you have been. Volunteer somewhere. Start some kind of little business of your own or just start working on a hobby of some kind. Get yourself a pet. Make sure you get out and get some fresh air, sunshine and exercise. People who work often don't make time for this, and it helps re-build "mental energy".

Listen to talk radio or watch television that doesn't "suck the life out of you" (crime and violence does that). Get yourself some new music that's the kind that makes you feel good, and make sure you listen to that.

You have children, and they're grown, and you still have the one at home - that's not an empty nest. That's having a family, whether or not people live under your roof or need you to cook for them. Just because they don't live under your roof or need you to cook it doesn't mean you're no longer a mother. You'll be a mother forever. You just need to adjust how you see yourself in relation to your family, and how you redefine your own life and identity now that things have moved to the next stage.

Answer 3

Hello:

There are so many organizations out there that need your help. Senior Citizen Centers are always looking for volunteers. Hospitals still need volunteers, so do libraries. Think of something that you really would like to do, then find a place that needs volunteers to do that job.

My sis loves working with animals. She is a volunteer dog walker at the local animal shelter. She used to volunteer at the local zoo escorting handicapped children through the zoo.

Good luck. You have so much to offer. Now it's time for you to do what you want, not what other people need. Embrace this new path in your life.

Answer 4

I can empathasize. My first wife of 10 years left me for another man and took my son with her. My second wife, also of 10 years, left me for who knows what and took her kids with her. In the 9 years since, I buried myself in my work as a computer programmer and systems analyst. I was avoiding the issues, but I did not realize that was what I was doing. I suggest you confront the issue or it will never go away, never heal with time. I confronted bothwomen eventualy,and achieved what some call "closure" which allowed me to let go of the past and move on to my individual future. I think you have a "holding onto the past" issue which you must address before you can move past the events in your past which disrupted your life. You are NOT useless. You are NOT unworthy. You are a GOOD person, but you are not in a position at the moment to see this as the truth. Your job is NOT unfulfilling, as it is something to do while you figure things out for yourself. Sitting on a couch watching soaps all day instead of working, doing NOTHING, is NOT the answer. You need to get out of the house, be with people, interact with people, that is the key to making the start to getting better, Volunteer at the Red Cross, Salvation Army, Goodwill, whatever. Be out there with people! My kids, biologacal and step do NOT need me, but they finally DID come around to at least remain in contact aft4r several years of me sending things like birthday cards and such.

I cannot say this will work for you. I am only suggesting you try this as an approach to resolve you feelings. No guarantees, but this is what worked for me, for me to feel good about myself today, years after the traumatic events which ended my two marriages.

My best wishes to you...

Answer 5

firstly, everyone is useful in some way, identify yr talent & strength and give yourself time to develop them. We shd consider ourselve fortunate since we r not leaving in a third world/war rampant country, where ppl r struggling for survivability day after day. Who knows that if somedays u hv contributed something significantly to the country/world, yr kids may want to be around with u more, cos u hv made them proud. Isnt that a '1 stone kills 2 birds solution'?

Life is too short to think to much without any action done.

Answer 6

I bet you have many skills and lots of knowledge. Have you ever thought about doing some type of volunteer work?

Be a GED tutor. Help at a Hospital. Help at a School. Help at a Senior Center.

There are many places that need help from folks like you. All you have to do is use your imagination. And you know what. After a while you will discover how useful you are and how excited about what you have to offer you are.

Have fun and good luck.

Answer 7

Back to university! The next fifty or so years of your life are going to scroll past, regardless of the number of people in your house. Enjoy your freedom, you've earned a bit of selfish time for yourself, and congratulations on bringing up independent kids!

Answer 8

I can relate...but I used all that time to get out and do everything I was putting off all those years. Start thinking of the things you did before the kids. What were your interests? Time to redevelop and explore them. Get out often and join with others who share your interest...after a number of years it led me to medical school. Yes, age 59 and am in med school to be a doctor!
Who knows where it will lead you.

Answer 9

donate time at a shelter for women and children, the women need to be out looking for jobs or taking classes to get their life back on track and im sure they can use an extra hand. also many schools like to have teachers helpers. and then there is church bible school and many churches have schools too which might need a hand. hugs, you will make it.

Answer 10

Hey sounds like a good time to take up a hobby. Take some time to rediscover yourself. Do volunteer work remember theres. Your important hon and your kids lover don't ever forget that.