We were abstinent from sex (only petted) for 7 years prior to marriage this June. Ever since returning from the honeymoon we only are intimate 1 maybe 2 times per week---only in the morning on the weekends....he claims it's because he's past his prime and he's just not in the mood. He's always the one that instigates. When I do he pushes me away. You'd think after this long he'd be all over me. I KNOW he's not cheating............HELP!
2006-10-27 17:35:15 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Is he tired from working? Could it be a health issue? You really need to talk to him about this.
2006-10-27 17:40:33 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two times a week is perfectly normal for a 38 year old man. Women are little more sexy at this age, because they already crossed the line of responsibilities of child rearing.
May be you can seduce him to have sex, say 3 times a week. Make yourself, look the sexiest, everyday, all the time, not just before sex.
On the other hand, if you think that he might be cheating, hire a private investigator. If you do not have the money ask a close relative to follow him around for a week. Good luck !
2006-10-27 17:59:44 · answer #2 · answered by ken88dorset 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
38 and past his prime - NEVER, I'm 51 and my husband is 39 and believe me at 38 he should be rampant ! Feed him loads of chillies, which are very good for the male sex hormones. Don't you know what it takes to get your husband in the mood ? It's horrible that he pushes you away when you try to instigate intimacy, have you tried gently waking him by kissing his penis and inner thighs,try licking the end of it then gently slip it into your mouth and flick your tongue all over it as you suck, caress his balls at the same time with one hand while wa*king him with your other, if he doesn't respond to this I'm afraid you'll need to see a sex councilor as it means his libido is dead. You could try dressing up in a silky basque and stockings or in a maids or nurses outfit. If I were you I'd tie him up and give him the experience of a lifetime, he'd be begging me for more.
Incidentally my husband & I ( we've been married 7 years ) went to bed at 10pm, woke up again at 2pm for a long, fantastic sh*g, then got up and had coffee before my husband left for work at 05.30am. I do hope that you are able to get over this problem, as I say use your imagination, be tender and if all else fails get some professional help. I wish you joy.
2006-10-27 18:23:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey...1 to 2 times per week is NOT that bad. Seriously, I would say at 38, his sex drive is pretty decent... Now, if this is just a huge disappointment to you, you could speak with him about the possibility of taking some supplements to boost his libido.
You were abstinent for 7 YEARS?! That sounds like a very long time to me...maybe he just got used to the idea of being with you and not being sexually intimate. 7 years is longer than I've even been with my husband, and if we hadn't been sexually active for that long and learned to satisfy our cravings in other ways, I could see that making the actual act of sex a non-issue. Maybe this is the problem...
2006-10-27 17:44:33 · answer #4 · answered by missapparition 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a man with a very low sex drive . Why on earth did you marry him? You were probably like me and figured the intimacy would be better once you were married. So untrue!
He is NOT past his prime. He is cruel to not take care of your needs. He is selfish.
My X would push me away too and he had NO clue of how to have sex. I am soooooo glad I divoriced him.
Get some counseling. And don't buy the past his prime thing. That is BS. There are guys in their 60's and 70's more active than he is.
Don't put up with it.
2006-10-27 17:45:53 · answer #5 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, a few things come to mind..... one, since he initiates and when you do he pushes away... this tells me that it is on his terms and that he only does want it 2 times per week... that may be enough for him. but for a man to last 7 years without sex and only petting (assuming he wasnt a virgin) is a hell of a feat and one that i truly question. it sounds as if he is not attracted to you sexually or just isnt interested in sex in general (not to be mean, but if i was with a girl i was extremely attracted to, i would be trying to rip her clothes off after 7 years of just petting) but medically, he is the right age for a decreasing testosterone production (on top of what seems to be already low since he was not wanting sex at age 31)...no 38 year old man is past his prime so much that he cant have sex or doenst want to...i know 60 + year old men who still look at young women who pass by. that is why viagra is a billion dollar drug! finally, you have to at least entertain the idea that he may be cheating (although it doesnt sound like it since he only petted for 7 years) and thus not need as much attention at home (just watch for anything out of the ordinary)... finally, if u were to try to dress up or bring some excitment in to the bedroom, i believe you will be thwarted since sex is on his terms and he likes to be the one who makes the move and decides when, where and how... get him to doctor and have Free testosterone and total testosterone checked...via bloodwork...if he is low, as most guys that age will be, he can get a doctors prescription for a low grade testosterone therapy that will increase his sexual activity and his mood and vigor in life
2006-10-27 17:51:28 · answer #6 · answered by derek s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi CMU, Are you sure he isn't gay!!! It doesn't matter the age of a man, he wants sex and your right.He should be all over you by now.There's no reason why he should be pushing you away.Alot of men love it when the woman makes the first move.Sorry to say,Your so called hubby,whats to be in total control on what ever he is doing.This will be a big problem for you.Sweety it won't get better,it will only get worse.You might want to get ahold of one of your friends, so you can talk about what is happening in your life.It always help if you have a friend who will listen and give you some advice.
Clowmy
2006-10-27 17:49:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he have a stressful activity? Do you've economic issues? Are there any well being subject matters you're attentive to? If not, at 23, i'd say it really is strange. possibly you may want to seek for suggestion from a clinical specialist or perhaps he has an aspect piece you at the instantaneous are not attentive to. My hubby and that i have been at the same time over 10 years. we are older than you and that is the different day a minimum of for us continually...
2016-12-05 07:38:23 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people, men and women, have low sex drives. Check out the medical and then check out the marriage / sex therapy. If you have to go by yourself - men are shy at this 0 then do so.
I counseled for 16 years and some women only experienced 2 times in 34 years. in short - get help!
2006-10-27 18:04:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
only 38 and low sex drive already? that's uncommon, but definitely possible. i just can't understand why he pushes you away when you try to cuddle up.
the only reason i can think of when a guy does that is that he has something else occupying his time & attention. it doesn't mean he has another girl. maybe too much work. try to find out what it is then work from there.
but if you really think he is not doing anything else, see a doctor. it might be medical.
2006-10-27 17:47:41 · answer #10 · answered by Coolitz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well best thing to improve your sex life with your husband is find out what he wants in bed. Maybe you should suggest to have a threesome. hire a call girl not to have intercourse with your husband but have her and you stimulate your husband so he could get a jump start. Its like this when you eat apples every day and all day it gets tiring so need to change the favors once in a while. Just a suggestion OK.
2006-10-27 17:42:59 · answer #11 · answered by crazy fingers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋