What a wife should do??????

Question

What a wife should do when she falls in love with her husband and after some time (years) she came to know that her husband is a gay ?

Answer 1

You must feel hurt and betrayed. First off you are both obviously living a lie. My first reaction would be to throw him to the wolves. But you did say that you had fallen in love with him. Definitely separate, and get tested. But don't through away a friend that you can still share your time with.

Answer 2

If you didn't know that he was gay for a years that only means that he is a bisexual actually. Get him tested for STDs and give him his three chances. If he still doesn't correct himself, divorce him. As to his infidelity, I feel many people fall into the trap more because of their over-working curiosity for the experience. He has to use his chances well and let him make his decisions. Even if he comes back, you may tell him that you will be on a lookout and that he has to start all over again to earn your trust again, which has become more difficult now. Plus, you both go to a marriage counselor asap and you may even want a therapy to deal with all this.

Answer 3

Oh my..I really regret to hear of your situation. There's really nothing you can do but leave. If he's gay, I'm sure he's probably having risky sex with other men, and we're talking about your health here. Whatever you say to him or do will not stop him from doing what he feels or wants to do.
I hope there aren't any children involved. There had to be some signs pointing that he's not all male. I guess when we are in love with a person we tend to only look for what we want to see.
I suggest you get some counseling, get involved in church and some support group with other women dealing with the similar issue. Unfortunately, your husband isn't the only selfish ****** when they decide to marry women well aware of their other tendencies. You aren't alone, too many men are in denial about this and end up bringing other people in their mess.

I wish you the best..Email me if you ever want to chat, I'll listen.
[e-mail]

Answer 4

Well...I think that the only thing to do is get a divorce and move on. I have heard of women who stay with thier husbands and allow them to practice thier gay lifestyle on the side, but I really don't understand how this can be conducive to a good relationship. Seriously, being gay is not something that a person just "grows out of", so once they come to this realization, that is the way life is from there on out. It's a sad situation...

Answer 5

He probably knew this when he got married but didn't want to face it & hoped he could live a married life with a woman & have a family. Now he has affected the wife's life and any kids involved. He should have spoke up years ago because now there will be a divorce & all that goes along with it.
As far as what the wife should do, she should kick him out & get alimony.

Answer 6

there is no right or wrong answer here.... she can do what she feels and that is what is right! if she feels like she should stick by him and love and honor their marriage vows, then it is up to her....however, i believe this would be too much to bear since he would obviously have to go outside of the marriage to be happy ...and thus, the wife should sever the ties with the husband and build a new life that will not be based on lies...if he truly didnt know he was gay until he had an encounter, then the marriage wasnt based on a lie i suppose, but i just dont see how it could go on and both parties be truly happy...if wife and husband have kids, then separation may be harder to achieve, but divorced parents are a dime a dozen these days and kids are more adaptable to it since many of thier friends parents are divorced too (not saying it wont be hard on them, but they can thrive in life with or without married parents) hope that helps....the wife deserves happiness too ....and since the vow was broken by him, she should do what makes her happy...if she is happy to stay, then stay....if not, go!

Answer 7

Has anything else in the marriage changed other that you coming to realize that he's Gay? If for all intents & purposes he's staying faithfull to you, & he loves you as much as you love him, then there is nothing to do except carry on business as usual.
But I have to wonder just how this came to light for you.
For example, if he's been having affairs with other men? Cheating is cheating. If he's going elsewhere for love & attention, then is that any different than if he was seeing another woman?

Only you can decide if you can remain in this marriage, & be content that you will have all of the happiness that you truly want & deserve.

Answer 8

There is no point in keeping that relation. The wife should talk to him and then just let him go coz staying with him she wont get what a wife require from her husband.

Answer 9

Sorry to say that you can't change someone who is gay. He might have known and not wanted to admit it. The results are the same. You will not be able to make each other happy like a couple should be in a marriage. Maybe you can at least be friends??

Answer 10

I guess you have to talk and figure out what you both need and then go from there.

There is no set answer. Does he want to leave the marriage, and go his own way?

Love isn't something you turn off and on. so even if your husband is gay, your love for him wont' change. But, his sexual preferences are important and should be taken into account.

But, your love won't change.