For some reason, I keep getting these feelings that the people close to me don't really care for me that much. I have a really close friend that I look up to like a big sister. She is 28 and I am 19. We do lots of stuff like shopping, going out to eat, and just hanging out a lot. I feel comfortable around her, and we have been close for about a year and a half. I think she is a really awesome person and I look up to her. Even though she doesn't do anything at all to make me think she doesn't like me....I always seem to get thoughts in my head that she doesn't like to hang out with me as much as I do with her. It seems like I've always felt this way with many other ppl close to me also. Am I the only one who feels this way???!!!! It always makes me worry about it all the time like I will lose her friendship or something, but there's no way that could happen. I just wish I could stop thinking bad thoughts all the time and just relax?
2006-10-27 17:08:29 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I think with her it is the generation gap, and you are a kind of person who always need her closed friends/relatives to re-assure you that they love you and they will always be there.
There is nothing wrong with you, there are thousands out there like you.
2006-10-27 17:12:04 · answer #1 · answered by Robots 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've definitely have had those feelings sometimes. Some days I think that my friends don't care that I'm here and they don't hang out with me one day but then the next they're so nice to me like they usually are. Or I will be at a family gathering and nobody talks to me that much during that time, but the next one we're just having a great time. You should just relax though. I always see it that way.
2006-10-28 00:12:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be borrowing trouble. You seem anxious about close friendships. Maybe you need to lighten up and try to set your own pace and be a bit independent so people will know you can handle disappointments. They may feel by the adoration you give them that you are too needy and it may give them an uncomfortable feeling. Now, this may not be the case with you. You seem to get very attached to people and friendships, which is how I interpreted what you wrote. You undoubtedly worry about things that may never happen and without you knowing it, it changes your actions, which people notice. Just be yourself and don't ask for trouble. If they tend to want to drop you, please sit down with them and ask them why so you'll know how they may have perceived your relationship with them. I'm sure your family loves you, so you could speak with them freely about how you feel and they may be able to give you some insight that you are not aware of. I hope things go well for you.
2006-10-28 00:30:08 · answer #3 · answered by nobluffzone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very common in younger women. It has a great deal to do with self-esteem and self-doubt. What you need to realize is that these negative emotions are really inaccurate and distorted. The first thing to do is to write them down if you can and then find evidence for why they are false. You note above that there is no evidence for your friend thinking she doesn't like you. You need to enforce that in your own thinking and substitute the negative thoughts with positive ones. "I'm a good person" that's why she doesn't act like she doesn't like me. You seem to have the binoculars set on trying to find bad things about yourself and this leads to insecurity. What's worse, it isn't even true. Tell yourself and find clear reasons for believing you are a fantastic person. I'll bet you can. Now having done that, if the thoughts don't stop, I'd suggest speaking with your family doctor. For many years, I couldn't get the negative thoughts out of my mind. Finally, my doctor discovered that I could be treated with medicine and the problem disappeared in a couple of weeks. It turned out to be a chemical imbalance upstairs. Now I feel like a normal, positive person.
2006-10-28 00:18:24 · answer #4 · answered by David 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long has this been going on? I get that exact same feeling with all of my friends, but it almost never lasts more than a week or so. If you are really worried, than you should talk to her about it. Let her know how you feel and get things set straight so she can explain to her that that's probably not what she's thinking.
2006-10-28 00:11:16 · answer #5 · answered by Knight Poop 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry I always have those feelings. They seem to never go away...even on a good day...sorry but I don't think that there is anything we can do but get over these thoughts as fast as possible once we get them.
2006-10-28 00:16:12 · answer #6 · answered by ♫poison ♥s will never change♫ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not just you. Lots of people suffer from low self esteem. You have to realize there is no big conspiracy from people to pretend to like you or to be your friends. Either they do or they dont. If they are part of your life and spend time with you, then they do. They care about you and enjoy having you in their lives also.
2006-10-28 00:14:39 · answer #7 · answered by TheTruthHurts 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happens sometimes we are afraid to get to close, to become to attached because we feel we are the cause or the reasoning behind losing the people we care about the most in our lives.
-NmD!
2006-10-28 00:12:24 · answer #8 · answered by NoMaD! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u prolly feel insecure about ur friendship. maybe u sholud watch ur friends more closely when ur out together. like r they in a hurry to leave or r they having as much fun as u
2006-10-28 00:12:04 · answer #9 · answered by Make Love Not War! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is low self esteem talking to you. You are very likely A very nice person, but you do have to overcome those self doubts. people get tired of having to constantly reassure a person that are valuable. talk to a counsellor
2006-10-28 00:12:54 · answer #10 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋