I have been a stay at home mom for 4 years. I love my kids and hate being away from them but I need a break. I just want to get out spending money makes me happy but I want to have girls night out. I am faithful not wanting to run around. My husband doesnt like the thought of me getting out because he says he doesnt get to do anything because he works all the time but our kids arguing is driving me crazy. Should I feel guilty for wanting to get out?
2006-10-27 17:07:06 · 22 answers · asked by 2wild4u 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I did go out for the 1st time in 8 years with a friend and she wanted to go to a bar. I am not big on the bar scene. We went to a club w/ a dance floor etc. I didnt dance and didnt sit at the bar my friend and i played pool all night. I am married not wanting to meet men just wanted to get out. Husband said it was alright but was mad about it.My husband thinks that if I get out then he gets to get out and that means strip club or whatever he wants to do because he makes the money. I dont think thats fair he does get out not to drink with friends but to socialize when he can while I stay at home. He trust me but I think he is afraid that I will want someone else. I am all for us spending time together I would rather do that than go to a club.
2006-10-27 17:25:11 · update #1
have a girls nite out with some of your very good friends that feel the same as you. That love there husbands and family and so on. But stay away from the bars, go out to diner for a few hours, not all nite, stay away from friends that are unhappy at home and don't have a good relationship. Go to the mall and do some shopping and get your husband a little something to let him know that while your out your thinking of him. Buy a sexy nightie that you know will drive him nutz. Just make sure that you let him know that your intentions for going out are just to relax and your not like other women that are on the prowl. And when you go out don't do alot of primping, your not out to attract someone else....it just to relax and stay in touch with a few select friends. He maybe a bit insecure, other guys that he may know are being cheated on, he doesn't want to lose you. If he goes out to a strip club...just confront him with it, make sure and ask him if that's what he wants you to do too. Question his motives, ask him why a married would need to have to go to a strip club when he can come home after his time out for a bit anf get some real dirty strip club fun for free.
2006-10-28 04:03:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not! Being a mom is a hard job, I don't care what anyone says (I have a little girl and raise her on my own). My ex husband went out all the time while I stayed home with the baby, after working a 12hr shift. I never got a break! Tell your husband you NEED a night out with the girls for sanities sake, and that he has nothing to worry about. If you two are secure in your marriage there should be no issues of trust, right? Does your husband get to go out once in a while with the guys? If he does, then it's only fair that you do too! Go have some fun mama!
2006-10-28 00:12:38 · answer #2 · answered by walkinbyfaith7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I go out a lot and my husband does'nt mind at all.I go to bars usually with friends and we have a great time.You're married not dead!!! I can't understand women who are not independent enough to make a stand with there husbands when it comes to this subject.As long as you are faithful what harm does it do? Maybe your husband should try and get out every now and then with his friends too.I know theres a lot of women on here who strongly beleive that a wifes place is chained to the kitchen sink and there sole purpose is to take care of the husband and kids ,and thats fine but I still think that a women deserves to be a person in her own right not just somebodys wife and mother.Go for it!! have a great time and don't you dare feel one bit guilty
2006-10-28 05:15:02 · answer #3 · answered by poptrash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel quilty. YOu need a break now and then. Maybe once a month. And make sure it isn't anything that would make your husband worry about you. For instance go with a couple of friends looking at antiques. Or meet for lunch on a Satruday afternoon. Or meet some friends to see a chickflick.
If you want to go out drinking and dancing with the girls...well that isn't a safe place for a married woman to be. If you make this something your husband can be comfortable, then I bet he will see how good it is for you to get out.
2006-10-28 00:20:35 · answer #4 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's absolutely nothing wrong with that on occasion. As a stay-at-home mom with young kids I TOTALLY know where you are coming from! Some days you are just crying for an adult conversation. Not that you don't get that from your husband but you need some sort of identity other than mother & wife. This is understandable because people are multi-faceted. They need stimulation from different areas or they get bored and in a rut. You may want to remind your husband as I had to mine that his "working all the time" usually = 8 hrs/day only 5 days/wk whereas our JOB = 24/7. You have to have a break. It's common sense. Don't even allow yourself to feel one twinge of guilt.
2006-10-28 00:15:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Should not feel guilty about getting out. As a husband myself, I would go crazy if my wife was at home all the time. Start going out to eat, shopping, etc. Just don't do the bar thing if he's insecure.
2006-10-28 00:14:24 · answer #6 · answered by rwhz199 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldn't feel guilty, but if your husband works all the time, he probably needs time out too. Maybe the two of you, could get out together once in awhile, without the kids, to start with, then maybe the two of you will find something that you could do seperately, and maybe then your husband won't feel so left out and you'll get a break.
2006-10-28 00:17:36 · answer #7 · answered by Gaia Weeps 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel guilty at all. Here's something you should try: Get your husband to take the kids out of the house, invite your friends, buy a bunch of alcohol and enjoy your time. Your husband will know you're not messing around and you'll be at ease 'cause your husband has the kids.
2006-10-28 00:24:33 · answer #8 · answered by portsleague 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO WAY!!! I think that by not getting out once in a while, you are forcing yourself not to have your own identity, which will in turn make you unhappy in your life. It's not wrong to want a little break from time to time, a little change of scenery...that is completely natural and normal. You need to explain to your husband that by being okay with you going out on occasion, he is really investing in your mental well being, which will in turn allow you to be a better mother and a better wife.
2006-10-28 00:26:20 · answer #9 · answered by missapparition 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not. Everyone needs a little time away from the kiddos and hubby. If you have a few friends, get together with them maybe once a month for dinner or lunch. Maybe you and hubby can compromise. You go out once a month while he babysits and then he goes out with friends once a month if he wants. It's always nice to just get out and relax.
2006-10-28 00:14:02 · answer #10 · answered by Dee F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋