The affair happened and i was able to share a lot of emotional stuff with the guy who helped me. Now my marriage has started coming back on track. But I am not able to get over this person who I am still in touch with. He has told me that we should be just friends and be there for each other and nothing more. He is a very caring guy, extremely fun loving, these are the things that have still kept me attracted to him. Don't know how to get over him. I am trying very hard but not very successfully. I feel very depressed all the time and want to talk and communicate with him all the time, something he is not doing too much of. Pls help.
2006-10-27 16:55:07 · 22 answers · asked by Aarti 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You in Love.You should stop it, seen he is a guy in your mind as caring and extremely fun loving. Take him as your best friend as you are married and alway remember that you till have a shoulder to cry on.
2006-10-27 17:10:51 · answer #1 · answered by Cindy L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You feel depressed because deep down, you feel guilty. I know that most people are saying you're a "whore" or a "s**t" and he get what you deserve, but I can understand how you can feel torn between two men. What's done is done, and your affair is in the past. Now you have to decide whether or not you want to be with your husband or with your lover. This might make the decision easier for you...you HAVE to tell your husband about your affair, that is the ONLY way you will ever be able to fully move on. If you husband doesn't leave you, then I would say that you should try to mend your marriage and stick things out.
2006-10-27 18:26:53 · answer #2 · answered by missapparition 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off you guy,s being married when this affair occurred only say,s one thing neither of you can be trusted,and further more your marriage is no where near on track if you are still thinking of this other man.If you and your husband can't communicate(the whole basis of any marriage)then your marriage will fail.You may want to start looking for a divorce lawyer first and the romp in the hay second,because if you think this man is going to trust you then you're sadly mistaken(and vice-versa).The best way to get over him would be first ,put yourself in his wife,s shoes and see if you would think he was so caring and fun loving still,and for two ,all that time you're spending daydreaming (over someone else's husband)you could be spending trying to get you and your husbands marriage back on track (for-real this time)
2006-10-27 17:28:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that he is not that willing to communicate with you and has staed that he wants to just be friends should tell you a lot. Concentrate on your marriage and try not to stay in touch with the other guy. You can spend your whole life looking for the perfect man, or you can make the best of the marriage you have........
2006-10-27 17:00:56 · answer #4 · answered by thrill88 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to forget somebody that helps you in times of trouble, somebody that is always there and care about your feelings, somebody that knows you in and out and very supportive and makes you happy. But it always ends, need to sacrifice your own happiness or decide to be with him, it is hard to ask people, friends what are you going to do, because you alone will decide at later part, not because somebody says so, this is a decision that you yourself alone will answer, give yourself sometime, see for yourself the things that can make you satisfied or happy after 10 yrs. look beyond.
2006-10-27 17:07:08 · answer #5 · answered by purple heart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"a very caring guy, extremely fun loving" wouldn't be lying to and cheating on his wife. You hooked up with a loser. The consequence of your own lying and cheating on your husband is feeling as bad as you do now. Since you're said twice you don't know how to get over him and are unable to get over him, what can anyone tell you?
2006-10-27 17:06:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you find yourself falling for another person in an unhappy relationship it is because this new person has traits that you love. In reality this lover would get on your nerves too if you lived together
The only way to be able to get over this is to end the friendship of this lover you had and in time the traits that you loved about him will fade away and you will begin to find more in your partner that you love instead
I have had crushes (not leading to sexual)before and i practised this and it worked for me
2006-10-27 17:02:17 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you are depressed and still want to talk to the friend, how much is your marriage really coming back on track?? Does your husband know??
2006-10-27 17:01:33 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sounds like your going through chastisement for being an unfaithful wife. You should divorce your husband, or at least come clean and let him decide. Its sad people get married and it means nothing to them anymore. Women like you are why I have yet to get married. You should come clean and pray for forgiveness for your sins.
-NmD!
2006-10-27 16:57:59 · answer #9 · answered by NoMaD! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kate,
You are NOT a whore, and if it were that easy to stop you would have.
Keep the dude on the side and work out your marriage. Things will fizzle out in time, and he will still be a wonderful friend to you.
2006-10-27 17:00:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋