He has visitation given him by the courts. His ex has been keeping the child away from him and has only offered to let him see her once during the year and a half we've been dating. He hasn't taken her to court yet because of all the drama she has started since we've been dating, and he didn't know how I'd react once he took her to court and more drama started. After finding this out, now I've told him I'll stand by him through whatever drama she brings 'cause he needs to get his court-ordered visitation and see his 6 year old daughter. This discussion was a month ago. Now he's saying he wants to wait til after the holidays to pursue anything, and still hasn't seen her or tried. I've asked him why he's waiting and he says he doesn't need to explain his reasons to me. I'm starting to look at him differently because he isn't acting right now.. Should I be feeling this way? Would you? My parents always said there were two sides to every story, now I'm surprised at his inactivity.
2006-10-27 16:21:09 · 15 answers · asked by THICKUMS 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He said before he met me, he took her to court and pursued this matter and in reply she messed with his bank accounts and had his car broken into. He hasn't tried again because of me never having dated a person with a child and knowing I don't like drama. But I told him he should try to see his child no matter what I think, and I would still be here if his ex does jump stupid. So why wait now? What could his reasons be?
2006-10-27 16:33:26 · update #1
His ex allowed him to see her regularly before, but when she gets angry or whatever, she changes her mind. Before he met me he was seeing her regularly, but now his ex is trippin'. I'm just wondering why he isn't going after this now he knows I'll support him.
2006-10-27 16:40:54 · update #2
i have been in the same situation but you just said u would stay by his side no matter what he decides. and you dont know how their relationship was like before you he does. maybe in his heart he knows being in his childs life will always be drama because of this baby mom ma, she is getting to him through their child and maybe he is just overwhelmed by it and then he has you questioning him about it.let it be unless he needs you, unless he ask u what he should he do.. all you can do baby is be there for him no matter what he does because you will never know how it is unless you are him in his situation. my husband went through the same thing, and so have i with my exes baby momma.
some people are messed up and us their kids to get to the other parent, and its worse if their ex is with someone else. she is using that kid to hurt him because he is with someone else.thats the real. he is gonna act wierd he has a kid he cant see because of the mother.hes hurt u have to understand his feelings in this, or u wont make it, and that is what she wqnts be strong youll see what i mean soon
2006-10-27 17:29:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
From a father who was estranged for years from his own children through Mama's Drama:
He is probably scared; scared of rejection, scared of the impending drama, scared of failure, or whatever else. Men do not readily admit to being scared but this is a time of uncertainty and a time when any conscious person, male or female, might reasonably feel scared
Support him in his conscientious decisions but encourage him to step up to the plate even when it hurts. His daughter needs him a lot no matter what anyone says. Don't fail to support him in this now because he needs a reasonable female point of view in addition to his own.
And by the way, don't expect this to be easy but his daughter does deserve the effort.
WK
2006-10-27 16:38:14 · answer #2 · answered by olin1963 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
without understanding the ex's component of this tale I might desire to think of that your boyfriend has little intentions of following by on his vistiations and that the ex fairly isnt the project here. you ought to probable enable him handle this actual affair the way he is going to and save your self a super form of drama. that's merely too undesirable this little lady has a bio-father that isn't make her his suitable precedence. they're the two going to omit out on between the final relationships each and each might ever have had. If it extremely is how your boyfriend feels approximately seeing his infants you ought to confirm you do no longer reproduce with him or you 2 would be in this occasion too. good luck. i'm hoping you're able to stand back and get a greater useful seem at what's certainly occurring.
2016-11-26 00:16:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents are right, and you clearly know it. There ARE two sides to every story. The court has already decided in favor of the mother and there is likely a good reason why he has no visitation rights and/or is not pursuing them. What you're experiencing now is a gut instinct - go with it.
2006-10-27 16:28:24 · answer #4 · answered by PDY 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok first of all, it should be something he could talk about it with you if you are his significant other... if he doesnt consider you that closely to be involved in a MAJOR part in his life let alone take the time himself to be involved with his daughter there is something seriously wrong. I would give him his "time" but if he didnt start sharing things with you and trying to spend time with his daughter why would he want to do so with you or your "future" children. Try to talk to him but don't push the issue too much. If this man loves you he will be willing to work through this with you.
2006-10-27 16:28:58 · answer #5 · answered by blondeokie73 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well my perspective i think that he is being very inconsiderate every child needs their father in there life it is very important. He seems not to care wether he see her or not which is not right and makes him out to seem like an unfit parent cause of the circumstances but i think you shouldn't worry about that because you acan't make him change that, it has to come within,it's just something he is going to want to do for himself when he is ready.I also feel that maybe she want to keep her daughter from him because he does not see her I am feeling that she don't want him in and out of her life hurting her.
2006-10-27 16:35:54 · answer #6 · answered by dejohn m 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
his inactivity and his refusal to answer your questions about why he's not active speaks for itself. if he really cared about his daughter, he'd force the issue. he's putting his own wants above the needs of his child. that belies either extreme selfishness or a complete disregard for his child. you should re-evaluate the guy (a man would have handled this long ago) and the relationship, imo.
2006-10-27 16:28:21 · answer #7 · answered by kajunprincezz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, it sounds like he really doesn't care if he sees his daughter or not. You need to think long and hard about this guy. WHat if you had a child with him? Would he want to see that child?
2006-10-27 16:24:03 · answer #8 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
in given time if he really wants to see his daughter he will, but if he doesn't i think he should be pushed, because i have personally never met my father till recently, and i hate him for not ever looking for me, and that puts a barrier between us, which it is not a good thing to do for the child, and i would definitely think about what he would do if you ever had a child with him
2006-10-27 16:36:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its easier, not to do anything, than it is to pursue it. If you think that he really wants to see his daughter, tell him to pursue this, or he will regret it later. If you love him stand by him, that is the important thing.
2006-10-27 17:07:15 · answer #10 · answered by Gaia Weeps 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋