In love with a married woman, but don't know if I can move on or tell her?

Question

I love a married woman, but sees me as a best friend. We started talking and the more I got to know her, the more I fell for her. I don't know if she knows how I feel. She allows me to give her massages and hugs. I feel that maybe, she has some feelings for me as well. She is married and has three children. I know she loves them and I would never ask to leave them for me; unless she decides. She plans to be an actress and I know she can do it; I would do anything to help her. She plans to go to CA and asked me to go with her to go for auditions. I do want to go. she is always on my mind and I tried dating others, but she still remains and I give up on other relationships. I feel I should tell her, but afraid this would hurt our friendship. I want her to know how I feel. Even if she doesn't feel the same. I don't know if I could have a relationship with another woman. Should I keep this a secret or tell her? Should I stay with her either which way or would leaving be best for us both?

Answer 1

wow!! Ive got a few ideas on this one for what my opinion is worth. I wouldnt advise you to get involved because her life sounds very complicated having been a mum to three kids, married etc. also people who want to be actresses often dont have both feet on the ground, i know, im a great actress, however, you also said you dont want to go... then dont, it sounds a bit like she might be using you to flirt with. in my mind a married mum shouldnt be getting massages from other men, thats asking for trouble. no offense but you do sound a little niave, thats not a bad thing, but you also sound like a decent person, ask yourself if youre ready to take the role of a dad to three kids, as well as nourture her through all the knockbacks shel have coming her way whenever she gets a rejection from auditions etc, as there will be at least ten for every one she presents herself to. If you can give up all your hopes,dreams and aspirations for this family,as its not just her remember, then maybe you should tell her how u feel, if youre not strong enough then i would suggest u admire her from afar that way all "5" of you cant get hurt..........good luck.

Answer 2

I'm not really sure as to what you are asking here, but I'm going to take a stab in the dark here. Are you asking that if a man was seeing a woman and he was married only separated at the time and he more or less told the woman that he was seeing to hit the road and she continued to go after him, if he should lose respect for her? Well for one thing, I think just because someone is separated from their mate does not give them the right to see other people yet, they are just separated not divorced. All the separation means is they are having some problems and trying to work out the problems. Neither of them should see any body else during that time. You want to see other people...get a divorce FIRST. He must have been treating the other woman very good for her to want more from him, which what he should have been doing is spending that time trying to work things out with his spouse instead of playing with another woman. This applies to both women and men that are married. Do not go out and see other people until you are divorced. If either of the two steps out to see any one else while still married even if they are separated at the time, they are cheating on the other one.

Answer 3

First of all, Ca is really oer populated can you ask her to go some place else, we are all filled up here.

Further- If you dare to do anything with this woman, you are going to have to answer for it in the next life. Marriage is sacred, she has children. You just DONT mess with married people.

Respect her marriage and her and yourself. Stay away from her, have some integrity. INTEGRITY.

She will respect you more later if she ended up divorced than if you were part of the problem. Please respect her marriage, this is OFF limits.

Good luck- there are so many wonderful women in the world single.

Answer 4

I think you sound like a great guy you respect her enough to not make her choose between her kids and you. If she is happy in her marriage I wouldnt even mention it. If things are a little on the rocky side maybe but you dont want to get involved with her while she is still married. You dont want to be the reason her marriage is over and her kids parents are no longer together.It must suck when the one you fall in love with is already taken I havent ever been in that position. If things are good with her marriage just be her friend and put those feelings a side. Dont be the homewrecker. I hope I helped and if you dont get her there is happily ever after out there waiting!

Answer 5

I think you should keep you're feelings a secret. As an adult, you have to realize that she has a responsibility for her family and that you can't change the fact that she's married and has three children. It might be hard to accept, but it's the truth. Even if she decides that she wants to be with you, try to imagine how her children would feel if she divorced her current husband. It would be irresponsible to accept her offer, even though it may be tempting for you.

Answer 6

As a married woman, I'd say lay the cards on the table and be prepared to handle the answer. Until she knows exactly how you feel she can't make a decision either way. If she decides to stay with her husband can you handle just being her friend. or a friend with benefits until she decides to cut you loose?? Are you prepared to spend the rest of your life alone mooning over a woman you can't have if she decides to stay with hubby?? what if she isn't in a position to leave him even if she wanted to??

Good Luck

Answer 7

lay it all out for her, maybe she wants you too, you'll never know until you say something

BUT if the feeling in mutual, respect yourself, her children and her husband by keeping it in your pants until she is divorced (I find it a little odd that you say you'd never ask her to leave her kids but you don't give a flying f^ck about her husband)

how would you feel if you married the woman of your dreams only to find out she was cheating on you with her "friend"?

if she rejects you then just move on knowing you wanted what you couldn't have and that's what made it all the more tempting

Answer 8

OK,,come closer....no closer still. Get right up here next to me please...so I can give you a good swift kick in the butt. Stop this right now. Stop the massages, stop the hugs. Stop touching this woman. Go find yourself a nice SINGLE woman WITHOUT KIDS AND especially WITHOUT A HUSBAND. Leaving would be the best for you for sure. I think there is a husband connected to this woman someplace. And they don't usually take kindly to someone rubbing their wife. If she wants to go to Cali....let her go with your best wishes for success. Say goodbye and good luck. And then don't look back; just go.

Answer 9

Honest!!! You are on a crash course headed straight for a brick wall at 90 miles an hour. I know how you feel, but I still say the same thing. There's NO way to win......never play a game that you can't win! Best of luck to you!

Answer 10

If you tell her you may make her feel uncomfortable especially if she doesn't feel the same way, besides she is a married woman with a family. You should respect that and keep your feelings for her at a friendship level.