I am a separated middle aged woman and my daughter, age 22 and son, age 23 say I've changed. I am getting out, joining things. I'm in an improv class, I go to events sponsored by an online social organization, I joined a book club and I plan to go to Times Square for New Year's Eve and to New Orleans for Mardi Gras.
I sometimes stay out late. I go to happy hours. Last weekend I was driving home after having 2 margaritas and no time to sober up (last call). I dropped my friend off. She offered to have me stay over, but her cats make me congested and I thought I was ok. I take medication for depression and it made the effects of the alcohol worse and I got sleepy. At some point while driving I jumped a curb and blew out 2 tires and had to wait 4 hours in my car in the cold for a tow truck. I will not do that again. Poor judgment. I just saw my psychiatrist and she fixed my meds so I won't get as sleepy and I bought some Claritin in case I need to crash at the friend with cats' house.
2006-10-27 16:05:40 · 21 answers · asked by Oh Wise One 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think there are two separate issues here. The partying is the first issue - it sounds like you have a good handle on that. Keep your drinking under control and DON'T drink and drive, and thats that!
The second issue is that of your kid's opinions, and how you feel about them. They are going to find it difficult to adapt to the newer, happier mom. They want you to stay the same, because parents are the one thing that stay steady. But you have your own life now! Enjoy it! Have fun, go to Mardi Gras, make new friends, date, and enjoy your new life. You only get one shot, you know? They'll learn to be happy for you, and they'll get comfortable with your newfound freedom. Explain to them that they're no less important to you than they ever were, and that you simply want to experience some things right now. Good luck!
2006-10-27 16:10:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on finding a new improved life! You've joined the land of the living and you certainly deserve it. Nothing wrong with having a social life especially since now your kids are grown and old enough to take care of themselves.
Only one word of caution. Beware of of your alcohol consumption. In fact your life would further improve if you cut out the drinking altogether. You can have just as much fun without it. You already had one close call. You were lucky the cops didn't get called. You have this whole new world of freedom and independence. Don't get carried away and risk losing it with alcohol. You can fix your medications easier than you can fix mishaps involving alcohol. Alcohol can make things seem like fun at first but end up very badly. Please don't blow it by being careless!
As for your children sit down and have an adult talk with them. Get their input. Give them yours as well. Assure them that you are still there for them. Explain to them about this "change" of yours and about the new you.
2006-10-27 21:48:31 · answer #2 · answered by quantumview 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you have so much fun what are you depressed about and you know you shouldn't be drinking while taking meds like that but you are a big girl you don't need me telling you that but know there is nothing wrong with you enjoying life but maybe you would enjoy it better if the next time you go out drinking you take a taxi or try a designated driver you really don't want to have another accident were someone gets hurt bad or you go to Jail for a DWI that ain't no good but have fun enjoy life you are never to old to enjoy the life you are living and just stop being depressed there is so much in life to feel good about I wish you the best in life
2006-10-27 16:17:07 · answer #3 · answered by jamnjims 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have got to be kidding me. Every mother waits for this time in their life, where she can get it all back..Yah, thats right, we did our job, raising kids and being the perfect wife, now give me my life back. I don't see what the problem is,except, don't drink and drive. You would have been better if you stayed at your friends house. Nobody blames you, I so totally relate it's not even funny. You are rejoicing in doing a job that is so well done. I have raised my kids put my life on hold, oh, for soooooo long, now it's my time to howl. Good for you. Just please, next time, stay at your friends, have breakfast, chill. Then go home, nobody's hurt, you had a great time. I wish I could be out with you one of these nights. Mother getting her life back, finally.
2006-10-27 16:21:55 · answer #4 · answered by june clever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate, but on the opposite side. I'm the daughter of divorced parents. After a while, she started going out to clubs and bars, meeting strange men, being reckless & not thinking of the consequences....
Her kids (me included) helplessly watched her go downhill. We tried to give advice, help her, be there for her...but she felt "free" in her words...and was playing for the first time. Her and my dad were together for almost 25 years, and she had been with NO ONE else but him. It's been over 10 years, and she's still living recklessly. Drinking, partying, calling in to work, etc. Your kids are just worried for you, they want you to be alive for them. Safe and healthy. That's all. Use better judgment, and be safe.
2006-10-27 16:33:32 · answer #5 · answered by Jasmine Lily 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in a similar boat- my last one just left home and I am now FREE!!! He was worried that I would be alone - right...
It's our chance for a second childhood and our reward for years of putting everyone else first!
ENJOY! You go girl!! This is the best years of our lives- but hail a cab next time!!!
2006-10-27 16:17:45 · answer #6 · answered by Down to earth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ODD! NO WAY go out and have fun while you still can. You already put your time in so forget what other people say or think. It's yourlife so enjoy it. Do you no how many of us middle age women would love to be doing what your doing right now me for one.
2006-10-27 16:23:12 · answer #7 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I wouldn't think it was odd... it's like when a bird is cooped up in a cage for a long time... the door is opened, the bird flys out & all it wants to do is to fly & be free for awhile.
She'll settle down in due time... but till she's ready to do that, she's out there to get all the good/fun she can out of life.
2006-10-27 17:10:10 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its great the after raising your kids u finally have a life enjoy it wile u can life to short i recommend live every day like if it was Ur last enjoy love it just no more drinking and driving and mixing medication with those two
2006-10-27 16:19:51 · answer #9 · answered by me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with having some fun. You go girl ! Sounds like you learned your lesson on drinking and driving so stay safe and party on.
2006-10-27 16:10:13 · answer #10 · answered by t j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋