House Guest Question - Who is wrong?

Question

I have invited a friend of mine to move in with me, someone Ive known for about a decade, we agreed to his paying me $400 per month to stay in my one bedroom apartment after he lost his apartment after a disagreement with his landlord. He moved in with me in mid september, and pretty much has the living room all to himself, he has a futon in the corner of the living room. I told him not to worry about paying me for the two weeks in September. When Oct 1st came he paid me $400, that was cool, it really helped me pay the $1,078.00 in rent. Then come the third week of October he tells me that he will be out of town in mid November for two weeks, and he will only be giving me $200 instead of $400
He feels that he should not have to pay if he is not staying there.
Even though this was supposed to be a temporary agreement from the start, he has not officially told me he has found a new place to land, and I am not feeling very upset and feeling taken advantage of. Who is Wrong?

I failed to mention I had a Motorcycle accident in August, and have been depending on disability for my income until the begining of October.... I get paid every two weeks, and I am having MAJOR Finance Problems, while this guy I just let move into my living room got a fat check from the government for $4,500+ he is getting a used Car next week, and I feel like I am low priority here and Im getting screwed. My last disabilty check for the month was for $1,200 which barely covers the rent...so Im not trying to gouge my friend here, I REALLY need his help, and I think his views are unrealistic. He is giving himself a discount without asking, and his logic just makes me angry.

Answer 1

You are each doing the other a favor, and neither of you made your expectations really clear.

The thing is ... you made this a friendly temporary arrangement and not a business arrangement. Your friend feels that this isn't a situation where he is paying actual rent to share a place (because it really isn't), so he feels it is ok to only pay for the time he is there which helps you both out. He has a place to go and you get some much needed cash.

I can see why you feel you deserve the other $200 since you were so generous in letting him stay there for free for the first two weeks, but the fact of the matter is that he is giving you cash so he can crash on your futon. You aren't being taken advantage of. You are just a more generous person than he is.

I understand that you are having financial problems right now, and frankly your apartment is too expensive for someone on your limited income. If you had a real two bedroom, you could get a real roommate who would be responsible for half the bills. Your friend isn't a real roommate.

You are in a situation where you are both helping the other out. It looks like he has no qualms about giving you cash for the time he is there, and honey, right now you need the money.

If he isn't looking for his own place, you can talk to him about sharing the place with you permanently ... in which case he would be responsible for paying rent no matter how much he is or isn't there.

The fact that he has money and is buying a car is beside the point. I can see why you are upset, but take your emotions out of the equasion: If you didn't let this guy crash at your place, you wouldn't have got one extra cent these past few months and you would be worse off financially than you are now. He, on the other hand, would be in the exact same position financially. He still would have that check and be getting a car, and he would have given that cash he gave you to someone else.

If you think you can find someone to share the place with you and pay to sleep in the living room, by all means go for it and tell your friend that he needs to find a new place asap.

Hon, don't shoot yourself in the foot over $200. I hope you heal up soon and can get back to work.

Answer 2

It sounds like the two of you need to work out the details. Your friend might not be in the best situation either, especially if he had a falling out with the last landlord and I assume he did not get back his security deposit from his last rental. You on the other hand were able to maintain your place before your friend was temporarily living there and the rent he pays should help, but should not be depended on. I think that the devil is in the details and apparently there were none when this agreement came to fruition. Sit down with your friend and let him know what you expect, listen to him and ask him what he expects and work out the details. Hopefully the both of you can work out a plan that works out for the 2 of you.

Answer 3

This is an easy one. You have a verbal agreement or what is called a Verbal Contract. He may not be there in person but his belongings occupy the space he rented from you. He owes you rent. It's like saying if YOU went on vacation for two weeks you wouldn't pay your landlord? C'mon now. Tell him if he wants to move ALL HIS BELONGINGS for the two weeks and BEFORE he leaves then he won't owe you. A little common sense, I think "your friend" is an abuser and a freeloader. You are 100% right and he is 100% wrong.

Period.

Answer 4

when it comes to friends you always gotta be carefull on how things are worded, and should always be clear by I mean clear spoken out loud and worked out the what ifs scenarios. Is cool to help someone out specialy a friend but as friends should remind each other that when it comes to money there is no only this month and not next month. In reality you are not wrong, but neither is he because you and him did not work out all the what ifs and is never too late to talk about it, take his 200 for now but when he comes back or at the closes oportunity talk about a move out date or dish out more cash amount and that is non negotiable upon him not being there. Hence one of the reasons he was having problems with his previous lands lord. Always remember to keep your cool and admit that you did not clarify what your intentions where and what his responsibilities would have to be. Just dont loose a relationship for not clarifying, good luck and tell me how it went.

Answer 5

Unfortunately, since he's not on the lease, there's nothing you can technically do. He is being a jerk. I will agree there. You put yourself out to help this guy out, and then because he's going to be gone for a few weeks, he thinks it's ok to skimp on rent. You need to tell him that is not acceptable, and you already agreed on $400 a month. If you went away for two weeks would it be acceptable for you to only pay 300 for your share? NO. So same goes for him. Tell him to pay 400 or find somewhere else to live. Maybe that's why his landlord and him got in a fight!

Answer 6

Um that is hard because he wont be there but the fact of the matter is that if he had signed on the lease he would have to pay depite him being gone for 2 weeks but then at the same time you are helping him out and hes not there I dont know I would say not pay but if he signed the lease with you I would say pay so I am going to stick with pay because more then likely his belongings will still be there

Answer 7

morally he should pay u the full ammount. On the other hand it seems that whatever he gives u comes in pretty handy...so why kill the golden goose that gives u an egg instead of two that u expected. Be grasious and accept it unless he is mouching u for food too...

Answer 8

he is wrong...he owes you the full term. he's 100% right if he moves his stuff out. He owes while he's there..

If you had mortgage and go on vacation for 2 weeks, call the bank and tell them you were only home 2 weeks of the month and you only want to pay half.

Answer 9

Well, my feeling is he should be paying you if all is "stuff" is still in your place. If he is taking all his stuff with him I can see his point. I would tell him that if he isn't going to pay you the $400.00 then make sure he finds someplace else to keep his tuff for two weeks. I would note this as a lesson learned............it is difficult to live/rent with friends........Good luck

Answer 10

No good answer. He should pay his share until he goes elsewhere and closes the arrangement. He is an old friend. What can you do—compromise where you will both be unhappy?