Today is our anniversary, and my husband asked what I wanted, and I said to go to dinner. Now you have to understand, that every day after he gets out of work, we go to his parents house, and have coffee, and are there for an hour, hour and a half. Today after planning the outing and decidin where to go, we stopped at his parents as usual. They had dinner waiting for us. I know it was a nice gesture, but I really wanted to spend some romantiic time with my husband. We have been married 5 years today. It's the first time we were going to celebrate out......Am I being selfish for feeling so sad?
2006-10-27 16:00:41 · 32 answers · asked by bettyboop 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, not at all! Its a little creepy that you guys go there every single day; I think he needs to cut the apron strings just a little! A lot of women would have asked for diamonds; all you wanted was dinner out. I'm sad for you! Are your in laws really being nice, or are they sabotaging you? Talk to your husband, he should understand how you're feeling.
2006-10-27 16:18:39 · answer #1 · answered by cartmansmom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, not at all. The fact that you and your husband stayed for dinner instead of going out says that you are very nice, considerate people to your elders. But now it's time to take care of you, both of you. Plan a romantic dinner for two in the next few days, either at home or at a nice restaurant. I mean, what's in a number or a date? It's the celebration and the recognition of each other as a loving couple that is important. Ask your husband to tell his parents you will not be there for coffee one night, or just go and have the coffee, then go on and have your romantic dinner. You love each other every day of the year, not just on your anniversary.
2006-10-27 16:09:12 · answer #2 · answered by PDY 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not being selfish. It was a nice gesture but there is nothing wrong with saying I appreciate what you have done but we had already had plans on going out for dinner. My husband and I only get to go out maybe 2 times a year and that being said we are usually only gone for 5 hours each time so we dont get to do much. Maybe you and your husband can make new arrangements to go out to dinner just the two of you. I wish my mother -n-law fixed us dinner. And congratulations on 5 years HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!
2006-10-27 16:12:23 · answer #3 · answered by 2wild4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're are not being selfish at all. I think, if at all, you're husband doesn't understand what an anniversary is supposed to be like. I think his parents presented a nice gesture to you two, but they didn't exactly understand that you wanted a private romantic dinner. I suggest that you talk to your husband about what happened and ask him that, next time your anniversary comes around, you eat dinner together without his family.
2006-10-27 16:04:32 · answer #4 · answered by liv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the right to your feelings, and you are not selfish. But I am not sure whether you need to feel sad. I understand that you wanted your husband to stand up for you. However this is a tricky family relatioship question and an issue of whether husband & his family mature enough to understand your needs
This looks like a dear abby question.
A question for you, if you had been in your husband's shoes and if your parents, had made dinner, would you have told them flat in the face that you will not accept it, since you had other plans ?
Since your husband did not decline the dinner, he clearly thinks, that his parents are not mature enough to understand your needs, and did not feel confident to share it with them privately to let you both go for dinner.
Now that it has happened, the best I would advice is make it up by getting your pound of flesh from your husband. See if he makes up for you going along with this decision to stay for dinner.
Chances are that he would love you more for your decision to go along. A lifetime of love and enhanced trust should be lot more to a woman than one candle light dinner. If your good deed has not registered in your husband, please find out opportunities in gently reminding him of the same
2006-10-27 21:09:21 · answer #5 · answered by rvsasi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you're not being selfish. It's understandable that you wanted to go out for dinner. However, his parents made a very nice gesture. Why don't you just go out for dinner tomorrow night, and make sure his parents don't make you anything for tomorrow? Just be happy that his parents are nice people and care enough to do something for you.
2006-10-27 16:02:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its ok to feel sad about it, but try to get past it and quickly, so you can enjoy the time you do have together. Maybe go out tomorrow night, skipping mom and dads house. Or if you have to go by there, then make it a short stay, and go out to dinner. It might not be on the exact day you were married, but it can feel like it is.
2006-10-27 16:04:25 · answer #7 · answered by magnolia_76 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you are not being selfish at all. his parents are being selfish because they make you uncomfortable by having to go visit them everyday and even eat with them as if you two are still little kids living at home and going to school. his parents should understand that you two have your own lives and should have some private time together. they see you every day for coffee, they should not still steal your special anniversary which should be celebrated by the couple!!!
2006-10-27 16:05:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you should feel sad. However, you can't blame your husband, he would have to upset his parents. You should be upset with the circumstances. Now, why wouldn't tomorrow be O.K. to go out. This is just a day off and with leap year and all may be the right day anyway. Yeah I know it's reaching, i just don't want you to feel bad on your anniversary.
2006-10-27 16:05:51 · answer #9 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no it's understandable but you can't expect his parents to be able to read your mind....you should have told them about your plans beforehand...i mean it seems like you all get along so that's a good thing. I am not saying that you should report everything to your inlaws but knowing them like you do you should know that they do tend to do things like that for you guys....so now that the day is gone, call them up tomorrow and tell them (in advance) that you will be going out for dinner with your husband and you are not sure if you will be able to make it for coffee time....but reassure them that you will be there the next day
2006-10-27 16:05:14 · answer #10 · answered by Ruth Less RN 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋