will you tell him?
2006-10-27 15:59:33 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Will I get a bigger portion of our property if my husband is cheating on me?
2006-10-27 16:05:06 · update #1
If you think you might possibly want to stay with him, demand marriage counseling. However, leaving him would be perfectly acceptable in this situation if that's what you choose to do. I would probably leave if I was in that situation.
2006-10-27 16:01:38 · answer #1 · answered by robdob 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To start off, most states are no fault divorce states. that means you do not need a reason to divorce (such as cheating). It also means that cheating (or other things) are not grounds to get more out of a divorce.
My wife and I have been having some problems and several weeks ago she told me she was leaving me (still has not). She will not try marriage therapy (I am going by my self for now and trying to work on the things she has told me are problems). I have also done lots of research on divorce in case it comes to that.
My goal is to try to re-build our marriage. I love her. She did have an on line affair. Do not do things out of emotional divisions. I would talk to a lawyer (hopefully a free consolation) to find out what your states laws are. I would not start the process yet. I would confront him about your knowledge or concerns. i would ask that he and you try marriage therapy (you do learn a lot about each other).
Cheating does not need to mean the end of a marriage. In fact many marriages work out once the affair ends and both parties go to therapy. I will add some links to info I have found. If you love him and I know you hate him at the moment, but some place in your heart if you love him, try therapy.
2006-10-27 17:00:59 · answer #2 · answered by Left Alone 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
everyone thinks they know how they will feel or what they will do if they find solid proof and know their husband is cheating when in reality you really don't
it is going to be up to you to tell him, confront him and decide what is next. ask yourself what is going to make for true happiness for you and what are you willing to fight for or give up to have that ultimate happiness
i always said if i found out my husband was cheating i would kick his a$$ leave him and take everything! i am still married
is it perfect by no means, have i cheated yes, but there comes a point where you will know
that is when you will know what to do but really there is no solid answer and don't let people fool you into believing they or you will walk away immediately some of us do and some of us done
you must define what will make you emotionally and physically happy and stable
good luck its tough
2006-10-27 16:24:49 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you know for sure or just suspect it? if you're not 100% try to keep your cool and get as much evidence as you can. don't confront him until you have concrete proof. when you do, if you still want to keep his cheating a$s around for some reason (cause love is blind/deaf/stupid as I've come to find out the hard way recently) give him an ultimatum, her or you. If he can't/won't decide, you have your answer. If he wants to stay, get counseling. If he lies to you about something you know the truth get a divorce, he'll just keep giving you more of the same old bullsh^t . . . once a cheater always a cheater . . .
2006-10-27 16:12:30 · answer #4 · answered by smarty pants 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be heart broken and angry at him but I wouldnt stick around to wait for him to do it again. I have already told him that he is stuck with me so get use to it. But if he really did cheat on me the kids and I would be out of the house and someday I would start a new life.
2006-10-27 16:03:41 · answer #5 · answered by 2wild4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd think it through. I'd definitely leave him but on my terms. First, I'd get pictures of him cheating. Then I'd start selling stuff and put money in a private savings acct. in my mother's name. Then I'd get myself a new look and clothes on his credit card. Then I'd get a lawyer with papers. My next move would be to sue the other woman for going against the sanctity (sp.) of marriage. I'd sue her and take all her money too. They can live on the street together.
2006-10-27 16:07:03 · answer #6 · answered by noitall 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. I would talk to a lawyer first then slap him with divorce papers. In between all that make sure to confront him and make sure you have the evidence to prove it. although some women choose not to confront thier husbands after discovering thier cheating habits it only leads to pent up feelings which will eventually blow up in both of your faces later.
2006-10-27 16:02:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yup. And have all your ducks in a row. Make sure your evidence is solid. If there is any question whether it was him or not, dont say anything. If you saw him yourself, make sure what you saw was him cheating and not simply taking a coworker to lunch. Stand strong and dont let him make you feel like it was your fault he cheated (typical denfense mechanism). In order to try and get out of it, he is gonna try and make you feel guilty and question yourself.
2006-10-27 16:02:44 · answer #8 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i knew for sure i was being cheated on i would file for divorce, and move on. i would not be afraid to confront a cheater, or let them know how i felt about being betrayed. if one keeps quiet about it, it will just come out later on, not to mention the risks involved living with a cheater, who could bring a disease home to you. theres always a chance if you forgive a cheater later on he will do it again. so i myself would just rather get it over with and end the relationship, because i mostlikely would not be open to beleiving anything they said to me after that.
2006-10-27 16:17:54 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After you get your finances secure and yourself prepared for a divorce. Get a seperate account and get yourself situated.
For us, marriage is sacred. You dont go in thinking if it doesnt work out there are other options. There is no getting out. Thank goodness.
I'm sorry for you- I really am. If he is cheating, you better use percautions if you are intimate with him. who knows what he is catching.
Sorry-
2006-10-27 16:03:38 · answer #10 · answered by SunValleyLife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋