Hello. Recently my finace left me. Her reason, she was still in love with her previous guy and couldn't keep up the charade and her pretending she loved me. I don't dispute that she had feelings or even loved her ex, but I knew she did have strong feelings for me to some degree. I will be the first to admit I'm not a relationship expert, but I do have a knack for knowing when people are genuine, and she appeared honest and the real deal when we first started our relationship. Anyway so the last few weeks of our relationship where difficult. I can see now she was de-attaching herself from me and becoming distant. It appears in hindsight she had made her decision to leave me but was probably fighting it for those last few weeks. So she leaves me in a very sudden manner. After that I had 1 short phone conversation and one email from her saying she was sorry, I had done nothing wrong, but she had to be with the person she loved, the love of her life etc. During the past week...
2006-10-27 15:31:22 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I hear through friends of mine that know her, that she and her ex are going to get married early next year. While this hit me really hard, there was nothing I could in this situation. She had made it clear she wanted all contact stopped with me and that was that. I had doubts her relationship with her ex would work as she left him to begin with saying her time with him was simply horrible. She told me how happy she was to be over him and how much more mature I was and how I was nothing like him. Even her parents didn't like the guy and thought it was just a fling. Then yesterday, my friends tell me she is going to marry this guy next week!! Wow. Ok, I was certainly stunned to hear that as I was sure at some point she would wake up and remember the bad experiences she had with her ex. I will admit for sure I wanted her back in my life. No doubt. I loved her and would have married her had she given me the chance. We had even set dates, made bookings, the whole nine yards...
2006-10-27 15:31:39 · update #1
but she did the bolt. So anyway, getting married next week! I'm now struct wondering, do women forge ahead with something they want to do, ie. (being in love with the idea of marriage vs the real guy and person who they are marrying), even having doubts etc. and to block out those doubts and indecisions, actually force it to happen quicker? I find it very hard to believe she is doubt free now and am of the feeling she is rushing this just incase her ex backs out of the whole thing. She did this with me to some degree, so that's why I know she does this. Instead of slowing down and revealing doubts and talking about it, she does the opposite and goes full steam ahead hoping those doubts will evaporate. I've had a really hard time getting over her. I had honestly felt she would come back to me. But it's clear it wasn't meant to be. I wish her well, but still am sad as I honestly feel she will not last long with this guy at all.
2006-10-27 15:31:56 · update #2
When she first met you her head most likely told her that you were a good person and that she should be with you. But, her heart was obviously still with the guy she was with before you, even though he treated her terribly. So, you did not have a true chance with her. She must have tried to listen to her head's reasoning, but her heart would not allow her to move further. He probably made her feel as though she did not deserve any better.
This has no bearing on who you are. This was her issue/problem. Good luck with finding your soul mate.
2006-10-27 15:37:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you deserve to be with someone who knows their heart before they string you along. She sounds very irrational and childish and although I understand you have feelings for her...I don't understand why you would want to be second choice. The worst part in all this would be that if she knocked on your door right now and wanted to get back with you, you would take her. That's really not a good thing. You need to get on with your life and move on. Let her live with her mistake and learn her lesson If she wants to be with a man who is abussive to her then she may not be the type of woman you should want ,to begin with. Take some time and step away from the emotional turmoil, focus on yourself. A good woman will eventually show up, someone who is strong, confident and who knows herself along with her heart.
Good Luck
2006-10-27 22:39:06 · answer #2 · answered by Ruth Less RN 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and frankly, lucky to be rid of her. Im not trying to be mean, Im just saying that her heart simply wasnt with you. Why she is marrying someone who was no good to her in the first place is unimaginable. There really is no reason to try and figure it out. You can wish her well, but you pretty much know that relationship is gonna tank.
2006-10-27 22:35:39 · answer #3 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
full steam ahead ..doubts ..indecisions yeah..but I think she was just following her heart and will definitely regret the..decision...
2006-10-27 22:47:53 · answer #4 · answered by dreamy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋