Be more enthusiastic about sex? My hubby is self-conscious about his weight and our sex life suffers. Telling him that I love him anyway doesn't seem to help. What should I do?
2006-10-27 15:24:39 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get some good massaging oil. Tell him how much you love touching him - not how much of him there is to touch. Cuddle "my man" and touch as much as you can. Don't keep saying it doesn't matter because it obviously does to him. You don't overcome the mountain, you go around it. Tell him other things you like and emphasize the positive.
And
if all else fails, see a marriage counselor. There may be more here. Sometimes people look unattractive as a way of keeping other people away.
2006-10-27 15:30:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He used to turn you on, you like the sex, but he somehow knows he does no turn you on enough and feels bad about it, and does not go for it anymore, feeling bad that he has lost his vital functions. Vicious cycle.
How do you break it
Be honest to yourself. He satisfies you, but are you missing his strong athletic body it used to be, or that you love him for being the man that he is. i.e. this emotional makeup, that simply doing it with him is the biggest turn on for you, because he is the man of your dreams.
If not, be honest get over it and try to cultivate the attitude, by remembering all the good things about him. When you are ready. , start openly complimenting him for all these little things that he is good at, (example; his caring for you, and your needs, the activites you do together and have fun, all his unique attributes that make your emotionally happy as a wife) and please compilment him regularly.
If all these are already done,
try to see if he is anxious about anything else. Sometimes men use the body as an excuse, there could be some other anxiety which led to the deterioration of they taking care of themselves in the first place.
Try to find it and resolve his challenges
Last but not the least, dressing up for him is important
with all this, there should be some forward movement
Good luck
2006-10-28 04:29:31 · answer #2 · answered by rvsasi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay I may get a few thumbs down for this one but what the hell lol. EVERYONE knows how men are visual right? So....here is two ideas..One...you could make your own porn movie with him. Start out by your self...just tape yourself telling to the camera what you are going to do to him when he gets home...then start taking off your cloths and stop the tape. When he gets home just play it to him when the time is right.....then if you want finish the tape with him doing what ever you want to do. Then erase the tape after. Trust me it will really turn him on.
Two....if your not into the taping idea....give him a show. Sit him down and tell him all he can do till YOU tell him otherwise is watch. Start pleasuring yourself...how far you go and for how long is up to you....and he can not move till you say so. If you can time it right just before you are about to orgasm tell him to come over beside you and give him a BJ as you orgasm....he will never forget it trust me. what ever you decide to do...just make sure its something that you will enjoy too....its a BIG turn on for a guy to know that his partner is really into what is happening....not that they are just doing it for them.
Have fun *S*
2006-10-27 22:37:40 · answer #3 · answered by oldman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No telling him "that you love him anyway" was probably not the right way to put that. That is a backhanded compliment. That is saying to him that I love you even though you are fat and unattractive. What you need to do is starting showing affection like you used to do early on and this will ignite the passion back into the relationship. And I don't mean the in bedroom affection. I mean the little kisses and hugs tickling his back and nice comments would be nice too. Like, "you are so handsome" you don't even look at him like you used to and he can sense that.
2006-10-27 22:34:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
people being self conscious about their bodies in general is a hard obstacle to pass. has he gained a lot of this weight after marriage or was he a fairly large guy all the time...you have to keep telling him how attracted you are to him..and include the physical attraction in there...
2006-10-27 22:30:04 · answer #5 · answered by bald_guy69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u gotta bring his fantacies to life . make sex more interesting u his wife u should know his fantasy what he wants to do with u in the bed. fruits work gr8 with fantasy try that. or u can try talking to him if he is too consious bout his weight and talks to u about it then tell him that u think u need to loose weight too so joing the gym with him that will make him feel better but with that dont forget to try his fantasy
good luck
adios
2006-10-27 22:31:26 · answer #6 · answered by mrdeeds_1983 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn to dance seductively and be enticing when it comes the time to act. As of for your husband, he certainly has a problem with his charisma and perhaps physically out of shape expacially if he is a regular smooker (no cigarette). Encourage him to exercise (running is the best). Give him a lot of protein food, milk and eggs (blended) very good for increasing sexual drive. good luck!
2006-10-27 22:38:31 · answer #7 · answered by YWZH 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well im not married, but i am a little on the overweight side. the guy just has to have confidence and you helpin him is the best thing to do.as a guy, i really wouldnt want to talk about it, cause its sort of like emasculating, but times you actually do "do it" just flatter him like crazy, to boost his self esteem enough for him to know that no matter what he looks like, he still has someone that loves him...and thats you.
2006-10-27 22:29:05 · answer #8 · answered by Jeff J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just prance yourself around him in whatever clothes you know he likes. pamper him with little presents, do all the wonderful things for him that he loves, make him feel special everyday. Sometimes i send my man sexy photos of myself to his phone while hez at work, at golf etc. with hot little messages about what hez gonna get when he comes home to me. stuff like that. Find out what his strengths are and compliment him about these traits.... but always be sincere... good luck, remember we all have insecurities, those who say they dont are liars.
2006-10-27 22:31:27 · answer #9 · answered by genieejj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he needs to lose those inhibitions, I say bring on the wine, beer matini, or whatever he likes. If that doesnt work then you can seduce him, invite him in the shower, wake him up naughtily, greet him from work naked.. If that doesnt work , join the gym
2006-10-27 22:34:47 · answer #10 · answered by Uma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋