ok, my ex-boyfreind's getting moody and angry with me because I broke up with him.. I was dont with being unhappy and crying over him, staring at the Advil that was empty (washed them down the drain before I could get to them.. I'm proud of myself) and now he's violent and angry with everyone. I've seen him hit and abuse him mom a bit, he's angry with me, wanting me completely out of his sight forevermore. and there's still nothing left to do but cry. who knew you could be verbally abused AFTER a relationship has been disposed of? I didn't... why is he getting so physical and violent? and by slim chance, is there any way to stop it before he does something really bad?
2006-10-27 15:13:09 · 13 answers · asked by Kris 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First and foremost, you were wise to break up with him. Don't look back, and do not reconsider a realtionship with this guy. The warning signs are flashing bright, right in front of you. You were right to end this relationship. There is probably not much you can do about him hitting his mom. She is an adult, she has raised him, and she, and only she can put an end to his abuse of her. The family appears to be severely disfunctional.
On to you. I am concerned with the Advil statement. From what I can get out of your letter, you are brilliant, and you want a better life than life with this guy will provide for you. But I worry that you are doubting your decision to break up with him because of the Advil and nothing left to do but cry statement. You made the right decision, don't look back, and don't second guess your decision. You and only you can control your lifes destiny. You can not control his reaction, and unfortunately for his mom, you can't control their violent relation ship. She probably had a part in creating the monster that she is dealing with. You say he wants you out of his sight for ever more. By the sounds of things, this is a blessing for you. We meet people, we get to know them, and based on what we learn as we get to know them we make a decision as to whether to continue with the relation ship or end it. You only live once. Do not waste one single minute of your life on anyone who does not give you the respect, kindness, and love that we are all entitled to. Feel sad over the end of this relationship if you need to, and take all the time you need to heal. Learn from this experience, and surround yourself with people that have high standards for their life.
To summarize, you can not control his violence toward his mother. You can not control his violence at all - only he can. However, if the violence is directed at you, you have to take steps to control his ability to be violent toward you. NO level of violence, verbal or physical is acceptable. Continue to follow your instincts, they are leading you through your life accurately. By all means if violence of any kind is going beyond normal disappointment (when I say violence, I mean hitting walls, kicking inadamant objects) over a broken relationship, you must enlist the help of a friend, parent, pastor, teacher, counselor or any trusted person in authority that will help ensure that you are safe.
Set your goals high, take a small step toward achieving them each day, and do not put up with anyone that would prevent you from achieving them.
2006-10-27 16:17:11 · answer #1 · answered by Bankrupt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off protect yourself by staying way away from him. Do not go back to him. He sounds like he has been on some sort of drug, if it's not that then he is just a very mean, evil person. I hope you are living away from him and safe some place else. The only way to stop him is the police. You are worth more than you give yourself credit for. Stop the pills and get help.
2006-10-27 15:20:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully he'll get over it in time before his anger gets the better of him. In the mean time I would just stay out of his way.
If you do come in contact with him encourage him to work on bettering himself. Suggest, meditation, counseling, engaging in a project or sport, etc.
Just be as mature as you can be. We cannot control others but we can be of good influence.
Do your best and let him be responsible for himself. If he does get out of control you may have to get the authorities involved. Hopefully it will not come to that.
2006-10-27 15:19:02 · answer #3 · answered by Love of Truth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My cousins ex done this to her. He's going to get physically violent with you. Get a restraining order. She did and that's how she met her husband (they've been married for 4 years now).
2006-10-27 15:18:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a restraining order...I've seen sh*t like this, my friend ended up with a black eye and broken foot!! Your done your done, he has to grow the f*ck up. Protect yourself, call the cops get the restrant and buy some pepper spray!
2006-10-27 15:22:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You to get help from a parent, friend, police or someone you trust. This guy sounds disturbed. You never want to be with a guy who hits his own mother, because you know that he will hit you, too.
2006-10-27 15:16:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a corrupt brat. Get a restraining order for him. Stop treating yourself like dirt.
2006-10-27 15:16:13 · answer #7 · answered by seek_fulfill 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get some help before he does any harm to you or himself. Last thing you want to do is to get hurt.
2006-10-27 15:20:48 · answer #8 · answered by Rommie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the cops next time. give his mom ur # and tell her that after he comes over, call u. move with her somewhere safe.
2006-10-27 15:19:29 · answer #9 · answered by G.S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the police and report him.
2006-10-27 15:18:40 · answer #10 · answered by call_me_t 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋