Was I wrong to breastfeed my baby niece?

Question

I was at the mall the other day with my mother, my baby niece (who I was taking care of for a few days), and my own baby. We had just finished shopping at Penny's and on our way to another store when my baby niece started crying because she was hungry. Mom suggested I breastfeed them both in the dressing room at Penny's but I pleaded with her to let me breastfeed them in the common area of the mall on one of the benches. (I've always wanted to breastfeed two babies in public so I could show everyone I was a good mommy and also to pretend I had twins. It was so precious!) Anyways, one of the ladies from church saw me and walked up and said "I didn't know you had twins". I told her I didn't and that the baby girl was my niece ;) She then told me that I shouldn't be breastfeeding any other baby but my own because of some DNA thing. I didn't understand it but it really hurt me and made me cry later. I don't understand why this could be bad? Was she making this up?

Answer 1

It wasn't bad. The only DNA problem may be on the lady told you that was bad for the baby. But it is also true that human milk is a bodily fluid capable of communicable disease transport.


It is not very common this days but time ago it was very common to see that. Mothers for different reasons did not want to breastfeed their kids and have somebody else to do it. Time ago there was not substitutes for breastfeeding. If the mother could not breastfeed their own kid the only alternative was to find somebody else to do it.

There is a movie that tackles this issue a little bit. I don’t remember the name of it. Is a Mexican movie and it is really good movie but the way.

Answer 2

Get educated. Get your facts straight. I guess that is what you are trying to do here. If it was safe to breastfeed your child, then it was also safe to breastfeed another child. You should not go against the mother's wishes. If it were against the mother's wishes then it should have been a last resort after other alternatives were exhausted.
Your reasoning for wanting to breastfeed in public is questionable. I cannot say it is definitely wrong, but it is questionable. It is not wrong to breastfeed discreetly in public. To make a show of it is inappropriate. You breastfeed to feed a child. That is all. Anything else is of little use.

Answer 3

There's nothing wrong with the act itself, breastmilk is obviously best for babies, and people have been hiring 'wet nurses' for centuries. In case someone is reading this who doesn't know, a 'wet nurse' is a woman who has recently had a baby of her own, and is lactating, who is hired to breastfeed someone elses baby, if the mother is unable or just doesn't want to be bothered.

Don't cry in fear of making your niece sick, because it won't happen (there are rare cases when she might be allergic to one component, but it's not likely).

What I think *was* wrong about it was the reasons that you did it: so that you could show off.

There's no relation between 'beeing a good mother' and breastfeeding two babies in public for the sole reason that other people will notice you. You might not have been, but people who do things like that often do it just so that someone will say something negative to them and they can start an argument. They want to be martyrs for their causes.

It reminds me of a story I heard in Sunday school, about the 'street corner Christian'. Have you heard that one?

Answer 4

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RE:
Was I wrong to breastfeed my baby niece?
I was at the mall the other day with my mother, my baby niece (who I was taking care of for a few days), and my own baby. We had just finished shopping at Penny's and on our way to another store when my baby niece started crying because she was hungry. Mom suggested I breastfeed them both in...

Answer 5

When my great grandmother had her children.......Back in the day....... She had 6 BTW 1 1/2 - 2 years age difference between each of them. Between a few of them she got sick and could not breastfeed. She had a very good friend that helped her while she was sick. She would also breastfeed the baby that was small at the time. All 6 of my aunts and uncles turned out just fine and are still living. Ages ranging from their 60's to their 70's. If history doesn't answer your question I don't know what can. That lady needed to mind her own business.

Answer 6

If you had an illness such as HIV you might put a baby at risk by breastfeeding it. However, there is no reason that breastfeeding a baby other than your own is dangerous from a DNA standpoint. It might not have been the most ethical thing to do if you knew that your sister would disapprove. But if you think your sister wouldn't mind, and certainly if the baby was hungry and needed to be fed, then it seems fairly reasonable.

For centuries when there were no artificial baby milks made from cow's milk it was common for women to nurse other people's babies. Professional wet nurses might do it, and sometimes relatives would help mothers in this way as well.

It's uncommon in our culture for people to physically nurse other people's babies, but there are milk banks to which women who are able to pump extra breast milk donate their milk for babies who are unable to have their own mom's milk. And I have heard stories of women who have nursed their sister's or neighbor's children before.

Here is some information on milk banks and sharing breastmilk. This site has a lot of good links for you:
http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/milk/donor-milk.html

Answer 7

It could be perfectly safe. There are breastmilk donation centers for moms that can't breastfeed. So giving another child your breastmilk was ok, as long as you are a healthy mom.
On the other hand, I hope you had permission to breastfeed your neice. As a mom, I consider breastfeeding my special bond with my children and would not feel comfortable with someone invading that bond.

Answer 8

i breastfeed my daughter but i don't think that is what makes me a good mom... It is very weird to know that you would breast feed another womens child.. I could understand if you had this baby forever and were her caregiver for more than just a couple of days.. What did her mom think? It is not harmful to the child if you are feeding her because it is simply milk unless however you were using some sort of drugs.. But by the sounds of showing off your good mothering skills i don't think that you are on drugs.
Anyway so ya a little weird and freaked out to think that someone would really do that.. but other than that i am sure you are a good mom.. Just don't do it anymore.

Answer 9

The problem I have is it sounds like you did this for you own self gratification. I'm a mom of 3 girls I breastfed all of my children and Know i'm a good mom. I did not need nor do I care if the public sees me nurse my children because I know i did what was best for my babies. As far as breastfeeding your neice it would be ok if she had no other means of feeding her (No formula or her Moms on breastmilk)as well as permission from your neice's mom. My self I don't know of many moms who would want any one else sharing in such a special bonding experience with their child when they are capable of doing it their self. I also don't understand why you feel that it was so important to do it in such a public place as in the middle of a busy mall, When you had other options. We as moms have the right to nurse are children where ever we need to, but there is no reason to abuse the right for your own satisfaction, especially with someone else's baby!!

Answer 10

Well, there's nothing wrong with other babies getting your breastmilk. However if you didn't have permission to breastfeed your niece that you were in the wrong. However if you did have permission, than there is nothing wrong with it. Personally I would prefer someone trustworthy to give my daughter a breast if she was hungry rather than formula.

I think that nursing in public to show you're a good mommy and to pretend you have twins is very immature and a stupid reason to nurse in public. I don't think nursing in public is wrong (I do it all the time with my 5 month old and use to with my toddler until she was about 20 months old) but nursing in public for that reason is really... weird and kinda twisted.