self confidence?

Question

i am very shy....and i know this is because i dont have very good self esteem....but i want to learn to have higher self esteem and self confidence....all these girls i know can just walk into a room full of strangers and be herself....i hide in the corner. im not overweight, i think im ok looking....so why dont i have any self confidence and how do i gain it?? please help- i really need it

Answer 1

I know how you feel, someone times these things are based on how you were raised. Like my home wasn't very social and I'm just now improving my social skills. But what I have learned, it took me a while, is that it is okay to be yourself. Quiet people are liked and admired at times just like the social lights. Like Albert Einstein wasn't a social light, the sooner you learn that its okay and not weired to be quiet the more you will be able to feel comfortable in your own skin and be yourself with confidence. Its okay if you don't want to talk, I meet people like that all the time, and sometimes those social lights can be aggravating. Like now I'm watching "What Not to Wear" on TLC and on each show they have people with different personalities. Some are enthusiastic and talkative, and some are quiet, humble, goofy, or just quiet and smiley. And I admire them for different reasons, Social Lights isn't the only official personality. It should only be a problem if it prevents you from doing your job, or getting things done. Keep a journal and after a while, you journal will began to give you confidence. It is not a problem if you do not connect with people, maybe those people aren't who you are going to find a connection with, what I've learned is its hard to talk to people who you don't connect to, but comes natuarally with those you do. Don't force yourself to being something you are not, your personality is as acceptable as a social lights. You have the right to be yourself.

Answer 2

I'm 23 now. During middle school and high school, I was extremely shy. I would definitely agree with one of the other posters that some of it is how you were raised. It's not that you were raised poorly, I think I was raised just fine, however my parents didn't really help to instill any self-esteem into me. So I had to find it myself.
First and foremost to me, I think you have to be comfortable with how you look. If you're dressing or styling yourself to make someone else happy, then you're off to a bad start. Find a style of hair and clothes and whatever else that you like and that works for you. For me, it's a balance of what I like and the opinions of a few people that are close to me.
Second, try not to care so much about others opinions. I know that's easier said than done..but you just have to retrain yourself.
Third, find friends who will support you no matter what, and will like you for who you are, not what you have or what you do. You've got to have people around you to support you in life, both family and friends.
Hope this helps. It's by no means a complete answer, but a good start!

Answer 3

i wish i could tell u but i am also very shy so i know how u feel. all i can say is get comfortable around someone, then someone else, and so on until ur able to be urself around someone u've just met. it might help, it might not. just try it.

Answer 4

well think of exciting things and don't be shy, u got 2 say no to your self when it wants to be shy and tell it NO! = )

Answer 5

i think you need to just relax and try to fit in with everyone else.