Im an ex spc forces sgt and i came home to fined my friend beaten black and blue she won't prosecute because shy say's
she loves him. If i do anything will i lose my friend?
2006-10-27 14:42:14 · 21 answers · asked by RONIN831 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Just be there for her and encourage her to realise that she is special and does not need to live like that. Be a friend and keep talking to her,help her to realise that she has other options.
2006-10-28 00:43:52 · answer #1 · answered by SUE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you proposing to do?
Your concern for your friend does you credit, but if you're thinking of putting the bastard to flight by use or threat of physical force what makes you ultimately so different from him? That's how he solves problems and frustrations.
Reason with her, offer her all practical help and advice you can to make the break, even offer to 'protect her' (if you seriously can follow through) if she's worried he'll come after her, but if she's just too blind or deluded to see what a thug he is, there is not much you can do if she's determined to play Nancy to his Bill Sykes. Bottom line is she's an adult, and has an adult's right to be stupid even if it means she's injured or worse, and as her friend you have to respect that. If you see him off, you'll be the person who robbed her of the man she loved and believed she could turn into a nice guy, if she was just patient, loving, good etc enough. I bet deep down she just thinks he's misunderstood and it's all someone elses fault he's like that, and he will change - she has to find out for herself he won't, or yes, you'll end up being the bad guy.
In those circumstances, best you can probably do is just leave her in no doubt how much you care about her welfare, and that you'll be there when she wakes up to herself (and him), and plead with her to do it soon. A friend who is firm but gentle, and really cares for her well being (as opposed to someone who is constantly bullying her or getting angry at her, which is very likely what she's used to with him), might just touch the right spot and get through to her.
Good luck - she's lucky to have a friend that cares so much.
2006-10-27 22:08:55 · answer #2 · answered by categ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It goes like that fella.....you whop his ***....you handed it to him and make clear to him that the next time that he will come close to your friend is going to be his last. OOOhh please remind him that if he says anything that would be his last words. If you are "persuasive" enough you wont lose a friend. We all know that is the right way forward and everyone who says that you should talk to the guy and your friend etc etc they have not been in a similar situation. A helpful tip: If you want to really hurt him get ten oranges and put them in a towel and hit him with them. No external marks yet great internal damages. I am sure as an ex sp forces you will have better ways. No need to give me best answer points ;-). Just do the right thing
2006-10-28 00:55:06 · answer #3 · answered by Dr. C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its awful because this must be really hard watching this happen to your friend. She wont thank you for doing this, the only thing you can do is be there for her. some people will only put up with someone hitting them once and throw them out the door, others it takes longer, i know from experience. she will see him for what he is one day and wont look back, what she needs is for friends to be there through thick and thin and keep giving her confidence coz these bullies like making there partners feel they have no one and no confidence. its a power thing. Just make sure your there for her. she WILL leave him!
2006-10-27 22:09:29 · answer #4 · answered by Lifes*Peachy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Battered wife syndrome is difficult to work with, the wife accepts being beaten because she must of done something wrong and even tries to actively protect the cowardly w*nker husband. Don't do anything illegal just try to work with her in getting this piece of excrement locked up. All my luck friend.
2006-10-27 21:56:18 · answer #5 · answered by A True Gentleman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As someone who has been in a violent relationship I would advise you to be there for her but not to interfere as yet, if you support her now, when she is ready to leave she will come to you fo help and you will keep her as a friend.
If you push her to do something she is not ready to do or do something to him she will blame you and you will lose her.
I know it is hard but stand by her and bide your time, she will eventually see the relationship for what it is.
2006-10-28 04:59:16 · answer #6 · answered by Julie S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u have to give your friend time to think about whats happenin,she has to make a dessesion on her or she wont understand why, talk to her and explain to her thats he is not right what he is doing, but thats all you can because the rest is her choice,if you are a true friend then you will leave it, friendship is based on trust and if you talk to her , she will understand.she is scared of and probaly not i love.when you are scared you say or do anything, tell her that he cant hurt her anymore .
hope i helped
2006-10-28 07:11:17 · answer #7 · answered by LiL_mZ_Sa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her if that is the price she is willing to pay, to have this love he is offering her.
Try and get her to have a change of viewpoint, as then, it will be HER determinism that she acts on, not yours or anyone elses. And, in the final analysis that is the one that will be the most effective.
Good luck with your efforts.
2006-10-28 01:21:03 · answer #8 · answered by Bluebells21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thanks for you answer to me! you should get out go in the open!!there s plenty people that want to talk to you you got Wise questions and answers! as an answer to this your question yes she should get out but as you already know you can not say or make do anybody do anything... they have to lorn there own lesson its irritating for you and very onioning but they have to go trough that its life AS you know... you can only watch.. no religion no nothing can change... unless you want to kick some ****!!! that's what I am thinking last times... its only make an impression does days if you actually personal kick some **** realy literaly!! rase youre right legg and kick as hard youcan!!
2006-10-27 22:08:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may love him, but is she happy with him? I believe that you can love some one but not be happy with him? If you break it up in a sensible manner then i think that she may be upset with you for a while but not forever. Stick with her and be there for her even if she does get upset with you. Her knowing that you're still there, still gives her comfort from you even if she does get upset. Good luck sounds tricky!
2006-10-27 23:57:38 · answer #10 · answered by tiff-renea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋