We are emailing after all these years apart. I met him young, 16,first love- changed my life forever-moved across country to be with him and help raise his kid-left after years together- he got into drugs and the woman who supplied them- now we have met online- he is much older, clean and single- in his email he tells me cheerfully about the 5 year relationship he was in that ended a year ago and the step kids he sees every weekend and how he was there for the birth of one of them who calls him daddy- not biologicly his-and how beautiful I must still be and how happy he is to hear from me,etc etc-- I should be thrilled he is clean and healthy- and I am- but I am also angry-irrationally furious at him- I want to call him an A%^hole and tell him to go to h*ll and then tell him I love him still and when will I see him.my head is a mess- help people. I am really upset-and on the verge of screwing this up-funny-pain like that never goes away even after many years.I never married or had kids
2006-10-27 14:26:23 · 13 answers · asked by samson d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are having a lot of pain from the way the situation ended. Take it slow. He may be using you to get out of the situation he's in now. If he wants to work on the relationship, he will ask for forgiveness and prove to you that he's changed. But I wouldn't go rushing to be with him. If it's meant to be it will work out.
2006-10-27 14:32:22 · answer #1 · answered by angelica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's love, now no matter how mad my wife might make me some times, I still lover her this is part of having a healthy relationship the fact that no matter what i can tell her anything and ya she might get mad at me but because we talk the anger never lingers. this goes both ways, but it dose sound a bit like your jealous that this other woman has been with as you see it your man. I strongly recommend that you wipe the board clean and try to move forward, cause really that's the only way you can go. Good luck and remember to forgive and forget.
2006-10-27 21:36:36 · answer #2 · answered by matt v 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure you have some stories and experiences (even if it's not marriage and kids) from the time you left him until now. Don't be so judgmental. Time passes, things happen. If you want to be in his life you have to let the anger go. What a waste of time. Think of this as an opportunity, for some reason your paths crossed again, now it is up to you as to what to do with this opportunity. You only live once.
2006-10-27 21:32:57 · answer #3 · answered by Carey L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
been there. never got over mine and have been married and had four kids since. don't know what i'd do if i saw him. last time i did he had pissed himself in a beer/drug induced passed out state years ago. walked away so hurt because he had so much talent. if i were you...i'd be honest. tell him that he stuck it in and turned it when he hurt you. that you never got over that hurt. tell him that you still love the idea of him. and thats just what it is. the "what if" thing. you are mad because the clean and healthy came after you were long gone and didn't get to enjoy all your hard efforts to help his life. don't hold back...he didn't hold back on hurting you a long time ago. he will understand that he has to deal with all the people that he hurt when he was using. if he doesn't...then oh well. you still gotta get it out.
2006-10-27 21:34:03 · answer #4 · answered by igot_terminal_uniqueness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember he wants to see you now that it's convenient for him. He's between relationships. He will say and do anything to have a replacement to his old relationship. However, I could be wrong, he may be one of those few who have seen the error of their ways. Best way to find out is check him out. Do your own search. Check to see if he has any frequent DWI's or arrests for possession. Find a lie and you find a lier! Frankly I would say skip the whole prossess and don't bother contacting him anymore. I mean love/hate relationships are for cheap novels, not real life.
2006-10-27 21:43:52 · answer #5 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all you need to slow down. so far all you have done is talk through e-mails. and it wont hurt to share with him how he has made you feel all these years. and you may still love him, but i think that i would hold off on telling him that. take things slow,a long time has passed so, now you need to get to know each other all over. and once you do you may realize that your still in love with the old him and not the new him.take your time, what do you have to lose?
2006-10-27 22:28:55 · answer #6 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a good reason to be angry at him, but he may of changed. I belive in second chances, but the real question is does he derserve a second chance. Doing drugs and having children is serious buisness- not just something anyone can do- and is heartbreaking to others around them. This is a serious question and the outcome can be brutal, but all in all the choice in your hands not mine or anyone else's.
2006-10-27 21:51:11 · answer #7 · answered by oprah_norris 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to see if he has really changed his ways,before you decide to rekindle it.go into it with your eyes open,and be willing to end it again if you must comprimise your belief system and morals. but if your not married and single, and you love him than it certinly is worth looking at again. sometimes people do change, and nothing happens by mistake,theres a reason you found him again. just be careful, and if you see any of the things that broke u up, than you must be willing to give him up again.
2006-10-27 21:43:55 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did you want to accomplish when you found him?
Well, if you are mad at him, it's natural cause he screwed you over big time. He sounds like he doesn't make good decisions. Why do you want him back? You have to wonder what he will do to you this time and if he has lost respect for you.
2006-10-27 21:34:17 · answer #9 · answered by wondering 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call him an A%^hole and tell him to go to h*ll. Then hang up and refuse to speak to the loser again.
2006-10-27 21:29:09 · answer #10 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋