What if your wife told you that the love of her life was someone else from her past? You've been married to her for 13 years, w/ no major problems. She tells you that her true love is her old boyfriend from 20 years ago. Would you wish she never told her?
2006-10-27 13:57:59 · 15 answers · asked by angelica 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
its ok to still love an old boyfriend or girlfriend...they may have been a big part of her life...something happened in her life to trigger an old memory of him...its easy to remember the good times with an ex and its easy to forget the bad times...if she were to pursue a relationship with her ex it wouldnt take long to remember why that relationship didnt last...people usually dont change much they just become more aware of things but dont do anything with their new knowledge...if she wants to open up a world of resentment and hate id say go ahead and tell him...otherwise get over her ex...
2006-10-27 14:10:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Im not a man so I cant answer from a mans point of view...but I expect the first emotions you would have felt would have been hurt and anger...and the questions like "Have I wasted 13 years of my life with a woman who doesnt love me?"
I guess the answer to this only she can answer...but I would suspect that she does love you, she probably has this idea fantasy in her mind about this other person, chances are if it was 20 yeras ago she likes the idea of the romance that was...she probably cannot grasp in her mind what 20 years can do to a person, the changes that time can make to someone...20 years is along time.
I wouldnt feel to threatened by the confession...hurt and upset yes...but not threatened...
Would I wish I was never told...I dunno...I think I would rather know...but the way I would see it would be as a fantasy...heck...I have loved Johnny Depp forever...but the fantasy of having him and actually doing anything about it are two different things...and that doesnt make me love my husband any less...
I hope this sort of made sence and helped a little
2006-10-27 21:10:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anastasia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wishful thinking isnt productive thinking. I think its important to be honest, but Im also thinking that something is wrong in the marriage to even consider pursuing an ex. Also, if her "true" love was from 20 years ago, how does she know that this love hasnt changed? Marriage is like 20% love and 80% circumstances.
2006-10-27 21:01:57 · answer #3 · answered by *sweet sugar* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I would wish I never met her and I just wasted 13 years of my life. Why would she do that?
2006-10-27 21:01:39 · answer #4 · answered by Joanne B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From a girl's point of view, the husband should ask her what is it that she wants then. That guy or him? Is she trying to say she prefers him? Or what? Got to have an open talk with each other and tell each other how they feel. I also sometimes tell my hubby about my ex-bfs but he knows that i have nothing to do with them anymore.
2006-10-27 22:11:52 · answer #5 · answered by Missy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guess i would be glad to know since i had been dedicating every aspect of my life to her..i would also wonder what was wrong with her...anything that was 20 years ago in my opinion is just a fantasy and an excuse...
2006-10-27 21:03:21 · answer #6 · answered by willowz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds pretty hurtful to me. Unless you plan on leaving for this other person, why would you hurt your spouse like that? Reverse the situation, I am sure that would be information you could live without knowing from your spouse.
2006-10-27 21:28:23 · answer #7 · answered by Carey L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No that would not bother me. After all I would have her and not him. But if she wanted to see him I would say okay because if that is meant to be then I would be man enough not to stand in their way. If you love someone enough sometimes you must let them go free. If they return to you then you will be together forever.If not then it was not meant to be,but they will be free and so will you.
2006-10-28 00:46:14 · answer #8 · answered by unionjack07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what a waste of 13 years! no wonder the number 13 is unlucky. sheesh!
2006-10-27 21:04:35 · answer #9 · answered by ChangedMan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would have to wonder what her motive was after all this time, i would wish that she had just kept it to herself, it's like adding an insult to injury.ofcourse it is easy to look back on our past and remember that one special love, but it was so wrong to hurt you like that.
2006-10-27 21:09:45 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋