What would you do?

Question

lets say you're married to this woman for 6 years, everything is perfect, kids healthy, bills paid, relationship is beautiful. she sits you down and tells you 4 years ago when yall were having problems she cheated on you and your youngest child may not be yours. keeping in mind all the things yall accomplished together and all the feelings for that child, what would you do?

Answer 1

I think you need to get a DNA test done on the child to see if she's your child. Then you need to think seriusly about the whole situation. What is best for the marriage, and the children.

Answer 2

is she remorseful, does she take responsibility for her wrong, she deserves another chance for being honest, and it isn't the childs falt, why punish the child? you are the only father this child knows. please get to counciling, and if her mind were on someone else, than you all would not have been able to accomplish anything, she would not have been there emotionally or any other way. i do believe in forgiveness, and i do not believe in throwing your family away over a mistake, that is not going on now. the choices you make now will lead you to your destiny, i think she deserves another chance, and the poor child is in the middle of this, there is always time later to get a paternity test if you indeed decide on divorce. you must feel so badly about this,when someone has betrayed your trust, than normally i would divorce them but she came clean and was up front with you.it's one of those times when you can show a little compassion here, and wait and see what happens in the future.

Answer 3

well now. Its been four years this said man has grown to love this child as his own. A) he can either uproot the entire family get a divorce and take a paternity test. B) he could take the test but just for knowledge and continue living life as usual. C) he can continue to love a child as his own regardless of the mothers fault because he knows that child did nothing! If he loves the woman still and has chosen to forgive her then I would leave the test out and raise her like my own. However when she turns 18 years old give her the choice if she would like to take the test. (legal reasons later on)

Answer 4

first of all, lets, be honest about it, her quilt has been eating her up, so that is why she finally told you. that tells me she regrets what she did. to do this she had to swallow her pride, and assume that the worst could happen. so you have some serious questions to ask yourself. can you as a man put this behind you and move forward. if you can it says a hell of a lot about you. it takes a real man to take anothers and raise it as your own under this situation. has she told the other person in question the same thing. because if it is his he has a right to know. because of possible medical complications down the road. if you where to have problems again would she repeat her previous conduct. they say love overcomes it all, which is true. but can you forget.

my x after twenty one years of marriage tried to keep me from getting custody of our younger by claiming it was not mine. my son was eleven at that time, and we had to undergo blood to prove parentage. it was mine thank god and until this day he wants nothing to do with her. the court informed me at that time that if i had had known this before and had accepted it i would still have been held responsible for child support. now if you know and you decide to stay with her there is no going back your on the hook for good, what would i do , it depends on the answer to all those questions

Answer 5

After 4 years of being this child’s father I assume that you love the child. Are you going to stop loving the child and kick it the curb if he/she isn’t your biological child? I wouldn’t, but that’s just me. If you wouldn’t either then why bother with a dna test?

If you love your wife and your life together is good (sounds like that’s the case), then forgive her for something that happened *4 YEARS AGO* (assuming it hasn’t happened since).

Answer 6

First of all,I Would bring that Child for a Paternity Test,and then I would decide after that,what the next step would be,if the Child its yours,its easy,you forgive,if you love her and she loves you,start over,if the Child is not yours,but it is like yours,you ask your Heart if you can forgive and go on,if you do,it will be hard,I wish you all the best,Karl

Answer 7

continue on with your lives together. The child is your, whether genetically or not, and you have obviously moved on pass he problems you were having. She obviously loves you and wanted to come clean so you can truly move on. get counseling if you need it, but really if you look inside yourself you will see that it is beside the point. the point is you have a good marriage, and a good life now. don't throw it away over a mistake in the past.

Answer 8

I would get a paternity test to see if it was my child. I would also leave my wife and support the children that were mine. I personally couldn't tolerate cheating and I feel sorry for the husband and the child. What was she thinking? I know you are not talking about yourself because you are a female, single, and have no children so it must be someone you know.

Answer 9

To me cheating is it...done...no more. And to make it worse....if that is possible she waits this long to tell you! I would hope that I could restrain myself long enough to kick her butt out of MY house and file for divorce and FULL custody of ALL the kids. It is not the child's fault that she is a S lut and you have been the only Dad they have known....so it would be time to install good values in them and teach them that cheating on your spouse is NOT acceptable.
Best of luck

Answer 10

If you truly love this woman, and the baby nothing. No good will come from a paternity test. If you love the baby what differenc edoes it make. Blood does not make you love or be family. Everyone makes a mistake if you love your family and are willing to work hard anything can be overcome.