Why did she have to go?

Question

I lost my daughter on 3months ago, I was 8 months - I felt weird - sorta like real bad labor pains - I was rushed to the hospital and they could not find her heartbeat. It was later confirm that I had a placenta abrution. I kept her with me for two days and sent her on to the funeral home - to be prepared for her burial. I miss her so much - I have really bad panic attacks - Not to mention I got in a head on collision the day of her funeral - almost missed it.
HELP - How do I deal with the pain?
Also, me and her dad recently broke uo after 2 yrs - so I have to deal with that as well.

Answer 1

I too had a stillborn baby. It's been 19 years ago now. It still hurts and I will always think about her.
Sadly, there is no quick fix to heal the pain and sadly, they say a death of a baby will either break or make a relationship. Unfortunately, mine broke as well.
You should see if they have I.L.A.C. groups in your area. (I Lost A Child.) I never went to any but have been told they are very helpful.
I would definitely talk to your doctor and consider counseling. sounds like life has you on over-load.
My heart really truly goes out to you. I will keep you in my prayers.
I Can tell you something I do every birthday, holiday and sometimes just because. I write her letters.
Some might think it's nutty but for me it is very therapeutic.
For some it's easier to let go than for others. With everything you have been through just know, there are a lot of people out here even if we are strangers that would be more than willing to lend an ear any time you need one.
Feel free to email me ANYTIME.
(hugs)
Therese

Answer 2

There is not a answer we can give that will help. You have to remember the good times that you had with her and remember that she is not alone and is in a better place now. I know nothing i say will make it better and that you feel lost and sad and think that you will never get over this. Every time you smile or laugh you will feel guility and everything people say will make you sad and mad all at the same time. There are groups you can go to to help you deal with this. Talk to you local church and see about these groups. Remember that you are aloud to feel the way that you do and you can feel like this for as long as you want. God bless and i am so sorry for you loss.

Answer 3

Oh my goodness! I totally feel for you. I'm deeply sorry about your loss and everything else that you're going through, but don't worry, you'll get through it.

Almost two years ago my sister-in-law lost her son as well. She was 6 months pregnant and we had a funeral for him. It was so hard for EVERYONE to cope. Her husband was so frustrated, her daughter didn't quite understand what was going on. She felt blame towards others (that's another story within itself). Needless to say, she got pregnant about 11 months later and had another son. Of course, her 2nd child will never be replaced, but everyone had to learn to move on and know that her son is in a better place. I know that it's a difficult situation, but you have to know that all things happen for a reason.

I hope you have family and friends who are there for you. It's good to talk about things. Maybe counseling is needed for you and your baby's father to work things out.

Again, I really feel your pain and I'm very sorry. I wish you the best.

Answer 4

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I know how you feel, last Dec. I had my daughter at 25wks. she lived 19 days, and the only time I got to hold her was when she took her last breaths in my arms. The pain does get easier. Some days are worse than other days and even now I still have bad times. Find comfort in your friends and family that's whats helped me and knowing that my daughter is in Heaven makes it alot easier. If you need to talk to someone who knows what you are going through you can email me. [e-mail]

Answer 5

wow. sorry to hear about the loss and bad luck. why did you break up? you should have been each others' rock through all of this. was it a bad realtionship all around or was this the cause of it? i know it sounds like cold comfort, but things happen for a reason. maybe none of it was meant to be. maybe there's something better up ahead for you. just take things one day at a time. maybe get some counseling if it's that bad. i wish the very best for you.

Answer 6

i'm sorry about ur loss, but everything happens for a reason...i know that u hear that probably every day, but it's true. you never know if she would have been healthy or not. as for the father and u being together, it's better. things are stressful with a child, not to mention with a sick child. who knows if the relationship would have survived? you'll make it through, and as for getting on with your life, talk about it with friends and family. just don't ever forget your daughter. she's always going to be with u in your heart.

Answer 7

You need someone to talk to. I lost my daughter at 31 weeks.Her cord cut her circulation. We also kept her in the hospital room for a few hours thats all we were allowed.She was burried and i know its very traumatic. Its been 9 years since i lost my daughter.There is another woman on here mommy2be,she recently lost a child as well.You are not alone. [e-mail]

Answer 8

Sounds like you're having a really bad time at the moment! I'm really sorry to hear about you're baby girl. Times like these, you need to spend time and talk things over with any family, like parents or siblings that you might have. You need to build yourself back up before settling things with your ex boyfriend or just forget about him but of course, nobody knows your situation with him but you. I'm so sorry to hear everything. I really hope you're okay. xx

Answer 9

i don't know why she had to go, sometimes things happen for no reason and they don't make sense....but just remember how much you loved your daughter and hopefully things will get better...i know you may not want to hear this but moving on doesn't mean that you have to forget about your daughter because you never will forget about her but you need to move on it's not healthy for you to keep these kinds of feelings inside...maybe you should talk to someone close to you or a priest...i hope you feel better.

Answer 10

Did you seek counseling afterward? If not, I would suggest it since you are having trouble coping. If you cannot afford it, then try to talk to a pastor, they will often provide counseling for free.