A question for woman. What would you do if the man you love told you he had a vasectomy?

Question

He is not able to have children, and you may want them? Would you work out a plan or would your quest for your own children be so powerful that you would want to leave him.

Answer 1

Nanny hit the nail right on the head. It depends on how and when this info is disclosed. Just because you had a vasectomy doesn't mean you can't have kids. Although the fact that you had one seems to indicate that you don't want kids and that's important to alot of women. The fact remains that this kind of info should be discussed before love ever enters into a relationship. So if your woman just found out that you had a vasectomy she's probably feeling really betrayed that you didn't disclose the info early in the relationship and I don't blame her.

Answer 2

Well, we'd have to talk about it. If he had a vasectomy, it suggests he doesn't want any children, unless he now regrets it. The issue is not really the vasectomy, the issue is whether he wants children or not, and how strongly we both feel on the issue.

If he now regrets a vasectomy and wants children, then we could try reversing it (sometimes works), or start the process of adoption.

If he just doesn't want children, then it would not be a deal-breaker for me, if he has been open and honest the whole time. I think there are other ways to fulfil your maternal instincts, and I've known many childless couples with happy marriages.

Answer 3

Communication is so important, that would be a question that I would have an answer to before I became serious w/ him.

If he had one after we had our conversation, then I would realize that he was deceitful and would end the relationship b/c he made a life long decision w/o futher discussion w/ me.

I am honest with anyone that ask me, I can longer birth children. But considering my age [38] it has not been a problem and also the fact that my b/f has three of his own and one stepchild [ex-wife child] it still isn't a problem.

Answer 4

If I wanted kids, I would sit down with him and have a heart-to-heart talk with him about his decision to have the vasectomy. I would try to see things from his point of view, and hope that we could work out a compromise. I would not leave him, nor cheat on him.

Answer 5

Depends on when you had the vasectomy on how she will react. But anyway I believe that if she truely loves you that she will understand, and know that even though you guys can't have kids together you can however adopt. But the sooner you tell her the better! good luck:)

Answer 6

If children are what you want, is he willing to have it reversed? Would you consider adoption? If both of the answers are "No" I would say you need to do what is right for you and leave him. If you stay with him you will eventually end up resenting him and then that's just more time off of your childbearing years.

Answer 7

I dated a guy once that had one. I was still young then. He told me right out front. But, he knew I wanted kids, so we didn't go any farther in the relationship.

Answer 8

that's a hard question to answer i would have to love the guy a whole lot and he would have to be such a wonderful man to me to be able to never have a child from him.....but then again there is adoption

Answer 9

It depended on when I would find out. If he were honest and told me when we were dating, or if he never told me til after we were very involved, or if we were already married. Each would have its own consequence.

Answer 10

Vasectomies can be reversed.