Ok well I'm bi, and I have a crush on my best friend whos also a girl but shes straight, and she doesnt know that I'm bi cause then she'll act weird around me... But I really like her and I treat her different from everyone else, like I'm nicer and more generous, etc. But she's straight and won't like me... What should I do to get over her? I've tried getting over her but since we're best friends I see her every day and shes alwasy so nice and everything. Everytime I try pulling away her personality always pulls me back in.....
2006-10-27 13:07:57 · 9 answers · asked by Leslie 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Last year when she found out a guy liked her she started hating that guy feriously, he used to be best friends with her but when a guy and girl are friends usually one likes the other. She doesnt feel right near people that like her. She says she always yelled at him and everything was just to make him get over her and they're friends now but she'll alwasy feel weird around me if she knew I was bi....
2006-10-27 13:15:43 · update #1
Hi. Maybe for now you'd be better off calling yourself bi-curious. It has less of a stigma and is less threatening for a lot of people, and that might be true for your best friend. See, in your early teens it's normal to feel a lot of different feelings for people. Your body is doing a lot of changes and your hormones are in overdrive. That's just the way it is.
The truth is that you can't really know for sure that you are bi-sexual until your body gets done doing it's puberty thing and you've been in a serious, long-term romantic relationship with a man and then another one with a woman (or visa versa). Sorry, it works a little bit differently than the typical stereotype. It's impossible to know that you can experience a fufilling loving and sexual relationship with both genders until you have the experiences. And, a complete relationship doesn't happen in a short period of time.
If I was you, I'd first talk to my best friend about some LGBT stuff to see how she thinks, ya know, make sure she isn't a homophobe. Assuming she's not, I'd ask her if she was ever curious about being bi, and maybe tell her that I was. I know I'd be pretty slow to tell that I had a crush on her because you are right, it does change a friendship. So, I'd see how she felt about the idea in general before sharing that info.
I know it's a bit of a tough spot. Follow your heart but don't turn off your brain! You eventually will have all the answers that you seek. Good luck.
2006-10-27 14:43:31 · answer #1 · answered by Alex62 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you should still go ahead and tell her. You see, her reaction to her guy friend liking her is pretty normal. If a girl does not like a guy friend back, she retaliates as much as possible. In her case, her defense mechanism was to yell at the guy so that he'd get over her fast. But I think it would be different in your case. That's because you're a girl, and you're very close. She might have felt that it was okay for her and the guy friend to blow things off for a bit. But I don't think she'd want to do this with you. Simply because friendships with girls are different from that of guys. Still, you should approach this with caution. You wouldn't want to end your friendship with her. I suggest that you tell her how you feel for her. But tell her that you're trying your best to get over her, or to get rid of your feelings for her, because your friendship matters the most. If anything, I bet she'd feel honored by your actions. But, if she's a homophobe, which I hope is not the case, she might retaliate as well. Let's just hope that your friendship is deeper than that of the hers and the guy friend. Besides, if she attacks you or anything like that, she's not your friend to begin with. Best of luck!
2006-10-27 13:29:19 · answer #2 · answered by - iceman - 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well.. i think u cant let her know..
such a things can really make a big hole between u and ur best friend.. and i think this is osmehting u dont wanna go through..
so i guess u better keep things this way.. bi nd les r everywhere.. try finding someone like u.. but u gotta let her know one day.. but not suddenly.. show her some clues.. and she will know something.. a hint at least...
and then.. maybe u can have what u want..
hope u the best..
2006-10-27 13:20:13 · answer #3 · answered by heba! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same situation. Honey, when i fell in love with my bestfriend, we got drunk and had lesbian sex. i dont suggest the same thing to you, but i suggest you let it out, this will only create more complications later on. When we and my bestfriend woke up the next day, i fessed up, and everything went ok..i suggest you follow what your heart tells you.
2006-10-27 15:39:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well u never know if she might feel the same way and i think that if she rejects u then she might not be that good of a friend so take with cation
2006-10-27 16:11:46 · answer #5 · answered by loser 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she is straight there isn't much you can do...you can possibly ruin a good friendship...approach this with caution.
2006-10-27 13:10:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Water and oil. Move on, sister!
2006-10-27 13:32:31 · answer #7 · answered by Active Denial System™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this puppy love too will pass.
2006-10-27 13:23:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
just tell her how you really feel. wow thats so corny.
2006-10-27 13:10:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋