My bud and I have a true "brokeback moutain" relationship. Its very special and we have a strong bond. We both have two different backgrounds. I'm like Jack and he Ennis emotionally. He's an asipring artist, and I am into business. Were in our 20's and he chose to move to Europe. He asked me if I want to go, I said sure I want to be close to him, but things changed when I got accepted for a masters program at a business school in the US. I decided to stay and finish up. Now I feel like 2 years of school seems to be a long time, I hurt everynight thinking about losing him. It was a choice of my future or the "rare, weird" feelings we both have for each other. So my question to you is, did I pick the right path here? Was I right to choose my future over my heart?
2006-10-27 12:54:44 · 15 answers · asked by Dustin m 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Bible Thumpers NOT welcome to answer this question..
2006-10-27 12:56:19 · update #1
you cant follow someone else and live their life. you made the right decision. besides, as the saying goes if you love someone and let him go and he returns hes yours forever but if he doesnt return it was never meant to be. (ok, so i paraphrased it but you get the point)
2006-10-27 13:04:57 · answer #1 · answered by Caryn R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you made the right choice, even though it was the more difficult choice. Here's why: getting an education is invaluable, and something you will never regret. It will enable you to earn a better living and put you in a position to make a more favorable impact on society. It just opens more doors, for whatever you end up choosing to do with your life.
Your relationship has value, too, to be sure, and please don't think I'm minimalizing it in any way. My life experience tells me that relationships that are "meant to be" can stand the test of time and separation, and still succeed. Obviously there are more challenges when the one you love is some distance away, but, those obstacles are nothing compared to the ones you are already accustomed to dealing with given the nature of your relationship.
You must ask yourself why you think that being separated, geographically, means that you will "lose him". If your relationship was on solid ground when the separation occurred, it will likely STAY on solid ground. If your relationship was NOT on solid ground, then, staying by his side, in effect babysitting the relationship, would not do much to help it succeed, long term.
This separation will either make or break the relationship. If it succeeds, despite the separation, then you will indeed be blessed to have something so special. If it DOESN'T succeed, then, I hate to say this, but, it probably wouldn't have lasted long term no matter what....and if you had gone, you would have ended up alone AND without an education.
I think you should pursue your goals for the future, and then you will be in a much better position to offer your partner a better place in life, together. Let him know that your choice does not mean that you do not take your commitment seriously. Quite the contrary, your choice is meant to help provide you BOTH with a better life, together. When you are done with school, you can travel to where he is, and make a decison as to where to settle down. In the meantime, you can call and email, and visit as often as time and budget permit. Staying in touch, daily, and keeping the lines of honest communication open, are essential. He misses you, too, and is likely experiencing very similar insecurities.
In all things, "to thine own self be true". Listen to your inner voice. Trust your gut. You have made the right choice. I wish you all the best, in everything. You were brave to have posted your question so honestly here, and I hope you can ignore any replies that are, let's just say, less than helpful.
2006-10-27 13:19:55 · answer #2 · answered by happy heathen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel like you did your heart will still be there if (he is meant to be your heart ) and I am sure with out a doubt..He wants you to better your self because he doesn't want to have to support you and if you go to school you will be able to take care of him... LOL
You will know it is right just in all due time ..I hope the best for both of you and may you have a wonderful life together ....even if it is over the phone,internet or letters for a little while ...get your masters and go to europe or maybe he will come back home ...
2006-10-27 13:21:48 · answer #3 · answered by parentsofbadmeandt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I realize you're in a very difficult situation. Couldn't you begin a business school in Europe? It's much cheaper there than in the US. Now I think you should really see each other sometimes, for example in the summer, to maintain the warmth of the relationship, and of course you should talk over the phone etc. You'll see later if you made the right choice. I wish you a happy life!
2006-10-27 13:59:23 · answer #4 · answered by ted 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My course decide on me. while I was once in top college and making an attempt to determine who I was once and what I believed, I had a couple of strategies approximately existence and the way is was once and will have to be. matters like 'each factor has a spirit, (animism-that I had under no circumstances heard of) and 'we're identical to nature, now not above it' and if there's a 'god' I do not see it as only a male determine'. ultimately, I ran throughout a e-book on the book place approximately Wicca (had under no circumstances heard of it) I opened it up and skim the primary paragraph titled 'what's Wicca'. I discovered that what I already believed had a reputation. I undoubtedly believe like I made the proper determination, and my course has been very victorious. That was once thirteen years in the past and I'm now an Ordained Minister in my faith.
2016-09-01 03:41:51 · answer #5 · answered by lil 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard question and I wish you all the best. I'm going through a similar situation. The only difference is that our separation has the added problems with getting a working Visa. It is not a problem for me to go and live with her, but it is a problem for to come and live with me.
I think that even though it is hard I made the right choice, trying to finish off my post secondary. Finish off your masters and hopefully you two will get to walk down the streets of Paris together.
2006-10-27 13:23:34 · answer #6 · answered by Just Wondering 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did something similar when I was in my early 20s. I loved this man but wanted to live a different life than him. I am now married with children and I know I still love that person from many years ago. I am not sorry I followed my education and career path, but I miss him and with I had stayed in touch with him (I found him accidentally recently - we live in the same state which was a shock. Stay in touch with him, don't completely let go.
2006-10-30 07:07:18 · answer #7 · answered by I'm Trying 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a Brokeback Mountain relationship -- it takes two to agree to have a relationship -- Ennis wasn't ready --until it was too late. Don't wait until your old. Go to him if you love him.
2006-10-27 13:06:29 · answer #8 · answered by SuperCityRob 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Always, particularly since your heart, by your own words, seems firmly rooted (sorry!) in the present! And why was it necessary for you to sacrifice your future? Is he regretting the move to Europe?
2006-10-27 13:01:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go for the education first. If it was "meant to be" things will work out between you two.
2006-10-27 13:08:47 · answer #10 · answered by tanya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋