Two years into marriage and as a couple have sex maybe 3 to 4 times a month.?

Question

Having sex 3 to 4 times is considered healthy or otherwise? Plus I dont feel tht my husband and I can communicate well on this issue. Is there some problem and how can we address it...have discussed it as well but after a while there comes a deadlock in our discussion..we kiss and makeup and thats the end of it...Plus we do it only once when we doing it not like 3 or 4 times the day we do it...like some other couples who have high sex rives and can continue upto maybe 15 times a day....pls advise...

Answer 1

welcome to marriage - everyone else is having the same experience - if they say they aren't they are lying

Answer 2

Ok lets be real here even in my youth with my sex drive having been almost at a rediculous high I wouldnt have wanted it 15 times a day! maybe 3 or 4 LOL
Seriously though on average most couples after a couple of years of marriage with a healthy marriage and sex life are usually sexually active 3 times a week. Taking into account jobs and families outside activities can all impede the lovelife a little. 3 or 4 times a month is normal for some couples but if you are not happy with that and would like it a little more often you'll have to have a heart to heart with your sweetie and see whats going on with him. He may be having some extra stress at work and or be stressed about something ealse, how are your finances? That will kill a mans sex drive faster than seeing your grandmother naked! Communicate your needs to him, he may not be aware that you are in need of more attention. It also never hurts to change things up a bit, Make Love in a different room, try a new position, get some toys, tell him what turns you on, whisper sexy naughty things in his ear, meet him at the door in nothing but a towel with the bath water all filled and hot and take him in and get in the tub with him.....Be creative but not too fancy, fun and a bit nasty usually gets their attention!
good Luck

Answer 3

This is very normal. Most people this happens to after marriage because of different reasons. Stress, work, children, not communicating, getting too comortable and not working each day to make the love life better, etc, and the list goes on. You are not alone on this one. You have to make the time and keep the communication open.You have to want to work on solving this problem together. Think about why you are only doing it so often and think of ways that you can do it more often. Make the time. If I knew more information I could give you a better answer, but since it is vague it is hard to know. Any physical things keeping you from having more sex? Remember marriage is a lot of work. You can never let up on it or else it can snowball. There are other things you can do to be intimate too. You don't always have to have intercourse. A lot of times just taking the time to kiss can often lead to other things. Holding hands, massages.

Answer 4

It's only as normal as you feel it is. For me personally, 3-4 times a month would be too often; luckily my husband feels the same, so it breaks down to about 1-2x/month for us (married for 1 month, together for a year and a half). As long as your drives are compatible, anything and everything is "normal". If your drives differ - it is a problem. Do you feel that your husband has an insufficient sex drive? There may be medical reasons for that, ask him to see a doctor. Low testosterone is one of the causes of low sex drive in men; it's a simple blood test. I suspect this might be the case with my husband, but honestly, I don't want to rock the boat, since I'm pretty happy with the "frequency" as it is.

Answer 5

Most arguements between couples always comes down to sexual frustration. You need some good sparks back into your relationship.

Do you find yourself holding back or keeping secrets? Do each of you know each others true sexual fantasies? Do you even talk about? People grow apart because they forget that they can actually confide in each other.

You need to have a sit down sex talk. Lay it all out on the line...Make a list for each person and list what your sexual fantasies are. Switch List. Finding out that each other are human and have the same sexual desires is a huge connection. You will be able to reunite and find new ways of loving each other.

Answer 6

Who does it 15 times a day? Get real!

Honestly marriage is a lot of ups and downs. It's normal to have times you do it more or less. Stress at work or finances can drain you and you might not feel like it. I think you may be to worried and you're causing more of a strain then you should be. Relax and lay off the subject and maybe he'll feel more up to it.

Answer 7

lord almighty....i could swear i am having this same conversation with my husband over text right now.

communication...communication...communication. every couple is different and has different needs. the only problem is when one of the couple's needs aren't being met. and then the couple would need to work out between themselves where there middle ground would be.

Answer 8

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha, oh excuse me for laughing, but NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE, does it fifteen times a day! Dear, they are pulling your leg as in, first liar hasn't got a chance! Every couple is different and every ONE is different. But I guarantee you, no one is spending all that time and energy doing it fifteen times a day! Hahahahahahahahah!

Answer 9

Not all marriages are alike. Maybe you need to put some mystery in your relationship or have date nights............it sounds sort of boring for only being together a couple of years, maybe some counseling would help. good luck

Answer 10

This is something that you need a little one on one with, email me if you want to work this out. Click on the ICON to select Mail

Answer 11

sorry to hear that ...an it has only been two yrs.? you should still feel like you are on your honeymoon! he might just be overwhelmed with work or new bills , some type of stress related thing. but just believe in him , he is your new hubby! good luck...