How can I get my 2 year old to sleep in his own bed?

Question

My 2 year old usd to sleep fine in his own bed and room alone until he was 18 months old. In fact he wouldnt fall asleep anywhere else. One night he woke up crying and refused to sleep in his room and never did after that. I think it may have been emotional stress because his father and I had been going through a hard time and his father was no longer living with us. He will be 3 in January and he still has to sleep with me. I dont mind him sleeping in my bed, but I know if I dont get him to sleep in his own bed, it will trun out that he'll want to sleep with me till he is 9 or something ridiculous. Is it healthy for a child to sleep with their parents? Over all how can I get him to sleep in his own room?

Answer 1

When the timing seems right, start with a few small changes. The idea is to gradually wean your child from the family bed, so he doesn't feel as if he's being abruptly kicked out (and by the people he loves most in the world!). If he still naps, have his nap in his own room, to give him practice sleeping solo there during the less-intimidating daylight hours. For nights, you can put a futon or a mattress on the floor at the foot of your bed. Tell your child that someday he'll spend the night in his big-kid bed in his own room, but that for now this is his special bed — giving him the security of being close to you while also getting him accustomed to independent sleeping.

If your child doesn't have a comfort object, like a teddy bear, blanket, or baby doll, try offering him one now and encouraging her to sleep with it. At this age, he may not take to a comfort object if he's never used one before. But if he does, it'll help him make the final move to his own bed — after all, he may be forced to leave you behind, but no one can stop him from taking his "Beary" with her. After a few weeks, explain to your child that it's time for him to sleep in his room at night, and remind him that you'll be right next door (or down the hall) if he needs you.

Another alternative, , is to move your child straight into his own room but to sleep with him there for the first week or two while he gets adjusted. "Once he's sleeping well in his new space, move yourself out very gradually,. Go from lying down with him to sitting next to him as he falls asleep, then from sitting on the bed to sitting on the floor, and finally move from the floor to the door.
What should I do if my child resists moving to his own bed?
Over the next few months, you may wear out the carpet between your room and your child's. But you have to expect protests and middle-of-the-night visits — it's only natural for him to continue to seek comfort from you at night, especially if he's had the security of sleeping with you since birth. So decide what your priority is. If your priority is to not be woken, keep the extra mattress on your bedroom floor for a while, so that your child can wander in and go back to sleep there if he wants. If your priority is to get your child to remain in her room through the night — and if you're willing to lose some sleep to accomplish this — then do away with the extra mattress. When your child comes into your room, calmly lead him back to his bed and sit with him for a few minutes. (Repeat as often as necessary.)

You can also encourage an upbeat attitude about his new sleeping quarters by letting your child decorate his room with favorite stuffed animals and toys, his own drawings on the walls, and a night light (or two). Talk up and celebrate this transition as the big graduation that it really is, complete with balloons, cake, and gifts of new bedding featuring her favorite characters. Then inaugurate opening night with a peaceful-but-simple bedtime ritual that you'll be able to stick with (for example, a bath, a story, a song, and a few minutes of cuddling).

Answer 2

I would make his room kid friendly which you have probably already done, tell him he is a very big boy and that big boys sleep in their own bed!!!!! When he does really brag on him and call him a big boy! Always talk about his room being so nice and his little bed misses him, there are little books too that have stories about sleeping in their beds you might check into that. Our son actually would come in our room and sleep at the foot of the bed, we used to joke that he would probably do that until he got married and no lie more than once we found him wrapped up in his blanket at the foot of our bed way up until he was almost to graduate, he is still very family oriented so we have never had any idea why he wanted to be close to us.....................we had a super hard time keeping him out of our room but we knew for some reason he just wanted to be with us. His sisters teased him but it never stopped him. good luck

Answer 3

What do you mean, he "refused to sleep in his room"?? Who is the parent here, you or your 2 year old?

When a parent (a good parent, that is) decides that a child is to do something, the child is made to do it. You don't have to spank or threaten him. Put him in his room and let him know he is to sleep there or he will be disciplined.....I think we have all forgotten the word "discipline". If he disobeys, use time-out, privilege removal, or whatever works for your family. A developmentally healthy 2 year old is old enough to know that he is to do what his parents tell him to do. Now, also keep in mind that (of course) he should be reassured that in the case of a nightmare, scare or illness he is welcome in your room.

The issue here is not the actual sleeping in his own bed, but the war of wills between parent and child. All children who attend school, become employed, etc. when they grow up must follow rules. Rules must be learned at home, where love and trust are learned at the same time.

Dr. Phil (I am not a HUGE advocate of his show, but I do like some of his lessons) said once that his own children knew to respect the privacy of their parents' room by telling them, "Your hair better be on fire before you come through that closed door!". Now, that is extreme, and was meant to elicit a laugh, but it goes to the core of my point. Good parents set boundaries and rules. This is how children learn to respect their parents. No one should argue that a well-adjusted child is one who knows he/she doesn't get EVERYTHING he/she wants.

Good luck to you. And give the little guy a hug from me.

Answer 4

I think you have already allowed this to go on too long and now you have a problem. You cannot just cut him off cold turkey if he has been sleeping with you for almost 1 1/2 years. That is half his life. maybe you can start with sleeping in his bed with him. If his bed is not big enough buy a big bed so you can. Getting him in his bed is a very necessary step. Soon after that you can stay with him until he is asleep. Tell him up front what you will be doing and stick to it. And soon after that you will just have to tuck him in. The success of this will depend upon your strength of will vs his. You can do it.

Answer 5

I have the same problem my self my son will be 3 in February and started sleeping with my husband and I about 5 months ago. As soon as he fell asleep I would move him to his bed and he would sleep all night in his room. Last week I started laying down with him in his bed untill he feel asleep and that has worked so far. I also noticed that the time he was in bed with us watching T.V. or reading before he fell asleep was great one on one special time he had with his father and I away from the other kids. Since we both work and he goes to daycare that was special time we all spent together. Others tell me they do grow out of it lets hope so... Good luck to you on that one!!!

Answer 6

Unfortunately you are going to have to take the tough love approach in order to get him back into his own bed. This scenario is a little different but similar. When it was time to put our daughter on a sleeping schedule (first year or so it was whenever she wanted) we put her into bed a she screamed for about forty minutes, being a loving parent it was hard. The second night she screamed for about twenty minutes. The third night when we put her in bed and she rolled over and was out in about five minutes. It was glorious moment since we felt so bad the first two nights. In reference to your other question I feel (not a professional in these matters) that it's important that a child sleeps in their own bed because it helps with their own Independence.

Answer 7

I had a similar problem with my son....I had gotten him sleeping in his own bed fine until his father and I split and my son and I had to move in with my father for a couple months....when we were there he slept in the bed with me he was almost 3 at this time....when we moved out and he had his own room again...he didn't want to stay .......the only thing that worked was every time he got up and tried to get into my bed I would take him back in his room, tuck him back in and tell him goodnight and I loved him......if he did it again, I would again take him back into his room and put him in his bed but I wouldn't say anything....it was difficult to ignore his crying when you really just want to go get them and snuggle in your bed until they fall asleep, but it has to start sometime.....it only took about a week and haven't had a problem with him sleeping in his own bed since then...he is now 4

Answer 8

It will be hard but you can get him to sleep in his bed.You can start out by making him lay in his bed before you read him a story.Then after a Little time has past and hes used to this,have him get in his bed and stay next to his bed tell him you will stay close by until hes a sleep.When he falls asleep slowly move further away a few times return to your bed.Do this every night till hes used to it.this worked for me,good luck.

Answer 9

Obviously when he "refused" to sleep in his own bed you gave in and ALLOWED him to sleep in your room. You turned over control of bedtime to him. I suggest you just keep putting him in his own bed and when he cries go in and reasure him that you are close by but DO NOT take him to your bed. Let him cry it out if he has to. It's not going to happen overnight, you have to be consistent and not give in. Unless you want him in your bed at least until he reaches school age...maybe puberty.

Answer 10

Put him to bed and if he gets up then put him right back in it. Don't let him sleep with you or he will get too used to that and it will be a huge problem. Be firm with him. He's the child, you're the parent--remember that! Good luck :-)