help needed?

Question

I want advice from females and decent males on the following,

my gf for some reason wont allow me to lick down below BUT will let me kiss, rub/touch and feel down there, she was raped the 1st two times she had sex so I'm wondering if

A) this has something to do with it?
B) she's tight-pretty so does this effect things?

so I am wondering if both females and decent males can PLEASE give me some advice as to convicing her that it'd be fun and that I wont hurt her, because she's my baby and I wouldn't let anything hurt her at all, not even during sex and foreplay......

serious questoin so genuine answers only thanks.
Mitch

I love her with all of my heart and she knows this, I just dont want her to be hurt by me considering that she only really trust me, her uncle and one other guy at the moment....rape and other things are the reasons for this...

Answer 1

Hi, Mitch. Sounds to me as though the rapes may have a lot to do with her attitude toward this sex act. Perhaps the rapist attempted (or succeeded) to perform this on her?
On the other hand, she just not be confident enough with herself, her body, you, or any combination of the above, to feel comfortable with it. Many women are overly concerned with odor, that may have something to do with it.
My advice is: Don't push it, but let her know if she is ever ready to try, you will be gentle and will stop when she asks you to. Then you keep your word. Trust is absolutely most important thing in a sexual relationship. Don't worry so much about this....try to find other ways of enjoying sex with each other. After a while, she will change her mind...or she won't. All you can do is be patient and trustworthy. Good luck.

Answer 2

I dunno....it's likely that her being raped has had serious effects on her. Rape is devastating in so many different ways....has she told you exactly what her rapists did to her and is this one of those things? Has she told you that in time she might be down for it? Basically when she says no, does she tell you why?

Maybe it's a sanitary thing. Maybe the licking aspect makes her feel that she's got to be super clean and is concerned she may not be, whereas kissing, rubbing, and touching you may not know or find out? Would you say that the licking would mean you'd spend more time down there vs. the kissing, rubbing, and touching? Maybe she's concerned with what she ate and might have gas??? She must have said something that could guide you into why she isn't interested in this.

Until you know the reasons why shes not down, it's probably not a good idea to try to convince her it'll be fun...everyone has different perception.

Answer 3

I cannot answer this from the perspective of a rape victim, but I'm sure her prior experiences inform her current comfort level with sex in general. You may just have to go a lot slower with this woman in order to establish intimacy with her.

Some women really do consider receiving oral sex as more intimate than even intercourse. There's definitely a feeling of being very exposed and if you have some fear related to sexual intimacy, it might be a hard one for you. Personally, the fact that is so very intimate is part of what I like about it, but as I said I've never been sexually assaulted so I don't have that as an impediment.

I don't think you want to convince her particularly that this act will be fun. You need to, through all your actions and words, convey to her that you're someone she can trust. You sound like you really care for her so you can do this. It will probably just take time. Hopefully she'll get to the point where her body knows that she can trust you as well as her mind likely already knows this.

Do you know if she's been to therapy to deal with her past experiences? If not, it could possibly really help.

Answer 4

have you had sex with her? if not, she might be afraid she has an STD or something and doesnt want to give it to you. Or something in the rape experiences happened to her when a guy went down there. has she been tested? having guys licking down there is fun, i love when i get tongue action down there. it feels so good! tell her that she'll really enjoy herself and that im sorry for whats happened to her in her previous sexual experiences. I was almost raped. luckily i got away. hope this helps! :D

Answer 5

Why not just talk to her about this, she is going to have to trust you, I am confused my she will let you do everything else but not lick. Why don't you when you kiss it just slip a little tongue not a lot just a little and see what she thinks. Let her know what your going to do before hand of course.

Answer 6

Go slow

she needs to be able to trust you

Last guy she trusted was an *sshole and so she (being not entirely stupid) now does not trust guys.

Give her time to sort out the stuff inside her head

Answer 7

Some women may not like to receive oral sex, it may just be a sexual preference, you might want to talk to each other about sexual preferences

Answer 8

let her go at her own pace......if she was raped she is probably still dealing with issues that have no bearing on her relationship with you but within herself....be patient when she feels comfortable with it she will let you.

Answer 9

Maybe she's ticklish. I know I am.