We have lived together for 17 years, he helped raise my daughter, he pays for college for her, loves her enough to refer to her as his daughter. Recently he bought a home large enough for my mother to move in with us (she is 76). We have joint accounts and he refers to me as his wife. We both wear rings (for years). I just dont get it. I am 41 and he is 44.
Any advice ?
2006-10-27 11:59:55 · 19 answers · asked by Tiffany 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What you are asking for is a peice of paper.... when in reality you have been living married for 17 yrs. Which is more significant? Don't fix it if it isn't broken!!!
2006-10-27 12:08:52 · answer #1 · answered by Tony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is happy with the way things are and he feels no need to change
why would he
Does he know how important is this to you
go talk to him-has he said that he wont marry you
Stop wearing the ring-only if you mean it or any other thing. Depending upon what state you live in nothing he does or has done will be an option for you as you are not legally his wife. this is true even in some states where common law marriage is recognized
God Bless
2006-10-27 12:05:19 · answer #2 · answered by msijg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not a question of why WON'T he marry you. Atfer 17 years, the question is why SHOULD he marry you? Obviously being married hasn't been very important to you or you would have left him 13 years ago to find a man who'd marry you.
I don't know what you don't get. You've had a pretend marriage for years and that's been perfect for him.
2006-10-27 12:05:03 · answer #3 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with one of the answers, maybe he feels that it is just a piece of paper, but obviously it is so much more to you. I think sometimes men and women view marriage different. To most women it is the ultimate commitment a man can make to us by getting married. It's more than a piece of paper. But most men don't feel the same way. I am sure he loves you very much. Have you ever told him how you feel regarding marriage?????
2006-10-27 12:05:43 · answer #4 · answered by Marie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this sounds like a common law marriage i dont know if the state you live reconsides that or not you would have to ask a lawyer he may be like my bf , he says he will never marry that it just aint for him that he aint the type , or maybe he has a fear of asking you why dont you sit down and talk to him about it at least that way you will get the answer you need we can only give you our thoughts but we dont know your or him and i would just ask him why and what his beliefs are reguarding that subject
2006-10-27 13:04:41 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A small case of, if it ain't broke, don't fix it! Besides, not quite sure where you live, but after 7 years of cohabitation in Cali, it's 50/50!
2006-10-27 12:03:48 · answer #6 · answered by Tonya L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the question is
are you happy ,is every thing good in the home circle.
why stress your self with marriage it is just signing of a paper.the true marriage is how you are living as one.marriage is man's law of ownership now women are equal and don't have to live under 'man's law' hope you got my point.
2006-10-27 12:10:54 · answer #7 · answered by cheeks the slick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marriage is just a piece of paper, doesn't insure anything really. he sounds like a good man, he has trusted you in everything,and refers to you as his wife. why not talk to him about his reasons, perhaps he was married in his past and got really hurt.
2006-10-27 12:04:45 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't see how marriage would improve the current situation. Just make sure you're in his will. You've established a precedent with him and if it works, why pressure him on the marriage issue?
2006-10-27 12:04:15 · answer #9 · answered by cheyennetomahawk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice... Don't worry about it. He has been with you this long. Marrage is just a piece of paper. He has already commited so much to you and your family. You women are CRAZY! Ya'll always have to have everything your way.(sorry, venting)
2006-10-27 12:37:25 · answer #10 · answered by voidone76108 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋