What do you do when you have feelings for someone that you don't want to be with?
I've been going with my boyfriend for a year now and everything couldn't be better. He is the most wonderful man that I've ever been with in my life. Well I have this ex of mine that won't leave me alone for nothing. We've been seperated for at least 4 years now but he still has feelings for me. He'll come up to me and ask me if me and him get back together and if I still have feelings for him. Well this has been going on for awhile now and now I've started thinking about him more and getting this feeling that I'm falling in love with him. I don't want to feel this way and I don't know how to stop it. I've tryed telling him that I didn't have any feelings for him nicely but he won't take no for answer. Can somone give me advice on what I should do so he wont' mess up the relationship that I'm in now?
2006-10-27 11:49:53 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I want to be in the relationship that I'm in right now, I don't want to be with my ex because I know he'll do the same that he did to me before and we'll just end up breaking up again.
2006-10-27 11:56:53 · update #1
Don't go backwards. There is a reason why you and the previous guy broke up. Sure you could go back with him, but what if it only lasts a short time??? What if you suddenly remember why you broke up and realize you messed up a good thing for a bad thing??? I had the same problem with a guy (years ago) and I went back with him only to make a huge mistake. He wouldn't take no for an answer and I gave in against my own instincts. Bad choice, and I still regret it. If anything - it might sound dumb - but make an actual list and write down the good and bad qualities of both these men. Take a few days to do it and be honest with yourself - you don't have to show it to anyone else!! Then make some sort of rational decision not based on your emotions. However if you decide you don't want the ex around - quit being nice and be a ***** and let him know you don't want him. Tell him this new guy has a bigger package, tell him he makes lots of money, tell him anything that will get him off your back - but stand up for yourself. Good luck!!!
2006-10-27 12:00:04 · answer #1 · answered by Michaela 4120 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't really say how long you were with your ex, but chances are you are just feeling some old feelings from back in the day. I was in your shoes. I was with my ex for 15 years and I am now married going on 4 years. But sometimes I see my ex or I think of him and I get these feelings inside of me and I wonder too do I still love him. But then I look at the big picture and I have to say no because the feelings that I feel is just old feelings from being with him for 15 years which is a long time. The big picture is that he was no good and had no ambition in life and we were constantly fighting wherein my husband is the total opposite and I know that I am with the right man. So you just may be feeling
"old feelings". If you got a good man that treats you well, hang on to him and treat him the same way.
2006-10-27 12:03:07 · answer #2 · answered by Marie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your need to sit down and really think about this one. Do your pros and cons with both relationships. See how you feel the one your with 1st cuz you owe him that much. If you decided to leave him for another person, just know that your ex could throw that back in your face. Also remember that your ex is your ex for a reason. Try to think back and see why you guys broke up in the 1st place. Going backwards is easier than moving forward, but sometimes taking a step back can help you see what went wrong in the 1st place and try to fix it. You lust for your ex. and you dig the new guy. I don't know how old you are, but see which one will be better off in the long run.
2006-10-27 11:57:13 · answer #3 · answered by Keymay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Remember several things here; like what makes either of you so sure itll work this time where it didnt before, are you really totally sure this is what you want, because the guy youre with now wont wait around for you to get your life straight. It sounds to me that youre really unsure of your feelings for him because if you had feelings for this guy then youd be with him and not on here asking this. Its not having what you want but wanting what you have. Maybe youre using this current guy to regain your old boyfriend but only you can answer that. Just figure out which guy you would be better off with and forget old feelings cause just maybe you ex is just trying to break the two of you up as he sees how happy you are with him.If it were me this guy had his chance and let you go and time to move on and let this guy know exactly that. good luck
2006-10-27 12:01:05 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you NEED to tell him and a b*tchy way so he leaves you alone that you don't want to be with him. if you are with this new guy for a year and he the most wonderful man that you have ever been with do mess that up because so ex messed up with you once and knows that now and wants you back. you would be making a big mistake,.
2006-10-27 11:57:59 · answer #5 · answered by *~*Ash*~* 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there is not any way of understanding which gender is quite greater aggressive than the different while it includes relationships (lesbian, gay, transsexual, right away, or bisexual) and its impossible to be one hundred% particular while it includes the examine that record information from others, via fact absolutely everyone isn't continually honest while comes right down to it. it is an exceptionally gentle undertaking and persons are no longer continually desirous to communicate concerns of companion abuse or to record it to government. on a similar time because it the learn could be very precise, it has additionally been shown that female tend to be greater open approximately greater gentle subjects than maximum adult males, via fact maximum adult males do no longer decide for to confess they have been crushed up with the help of their companion (male or lady) and taking this into attention, its almost impossible to make certain absolutely everyone seems to be telling the actuality (except of path we upload protection cameras all around them or have somebody shop on with them 24/7, yet that would not artwork for glaring motives) So on a similar time as this learn could be precise its almost impossible to tell no count if its authentic or no longer, and if its authentic and gay females tend to be greater violent than gay adult males, than there is a few rationalization why this could be (verbal disagreements that turn actual, temper swings, pms and so on)
2016-10-03 00:58:49 · answer #6 · answered by fritch 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, He CAN take NO for an asnwer. If you truly love your current boyfriend right now, just cut your relationship with the ex boyfriend. No talks, no anything. OR....if you've had an unfinished business with this ex, talk it over just one time and leave it. be firm with it.
2006-10-27 12:02:01 · answer #7 · answered by nica 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The ex boyfriend hasn't gotten over you. Why? Emotionally he can't deal with it.
If he applied himself and went out to get laid by any woman who would allow it... He would have gotten over you.
- This is why in the back of your mind you don't want to get back together with him. You have feelings for him because you partially feel sorry for him and feel like it's your fault.
It's not.
It is your fault though that you give him any attention at all instead of giving all your attention to your current boyfriend.
2006-10-27 12:14:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
just think what cause the break up in the first place and hold on to that .
we men don't change, but we can sweet talk.
he would not leave you alone because he knows how you feel about him,we are not stupid ,girls can't hide their feelings,we can see through them.
bottom line if your present man is really good to you ,no need to change back to the worst.
2006-10-27 12:00:04 · answer #9 · answered by cheeks the slick 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i agree wit romeo its up to u .... take some time to just sit back and see who u think is mor luving towards u and if ur luv between u nd ur boy friend is stronger or weaker than the one u av 4 ur ex. in the end it shud all work out ok. hope i helped u, good luck, hun!
2006-10-28 05:27:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋