My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. I have joint custody of my two kids with my ex husband and they are only with me every other week. It seems like my boyfriend and I fight a lot when they are with me. Everything he does annoys me when they are around. I feel like he disrespects me and I do the same to him when they are with me. When it is just him and I, everything is just fine. My kids love him and he is pretty much living with us. I want to make this relationship work I think more for my kids than for me. We both have a lot of changes to make but I want the changes to happen NOW. Does anyone have any advise for me?
2006-10-27 11:39:54 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ask him does he like the kids
2006-10-27 11:43:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't mention the ages of your children, so I'm gonna assume they are alittle young here. I was in the a situation something like that, where we would fight when the kid's were around, but when they weren't it was a great relationship. I had to weigh all pros and cons, and to tell you the truth, this idiot is not worth your time, or anything that is going to leave any effects on your kid's. They may say they like him or love him just to keep him from getting into fights with you again. You need to step back and look at your situation and ask yourself this one very important question....Who's more important to you, him or your kid's?
Think about it kiddo. Good Luck!!
2006-10-27 14:42:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He resents your attention that is taken away from him and given to the kids. When your children are around his immature attitude becomes more apparent to you and so you deal with him the way you would one of your children. Make sure that your kids know they come first with you in all things and no matter who is in your life. I wonder if your bf has a child of his own. I am thinking NOT or he would be more understanding about the connection between a mother and her children. He is going to have to come to terms with your kids being a priority in your life always and that you are a "package deal" . If he can't do that then you should seriously rethink pursuing a serious relationship with this man as it will only get worse as time goes on if he is unyielding.
2006-10-27 12:27:16 · answer #3 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure your kids are thrilled to be sharing their limited time with their mom with some boyfriend who you fight with the whole time. Oh yes, this is really wonderful for the kids more than for you. The only change I'd make is to dump him. You're OBVIOUSLY NOT compatible if all you do is annoy each other in front of your children. You are their role model. Start acting like it.
2006-10-27 11:43:34 · answer #4 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm...well first lets look into why does he seem to stress you more when the kids are around..are some of the things he's doing that stress you seem similar to things you discipline your children for? there has to be some reason for the stress between the two of you while you are together with your kids..
have you both sat down and talked about this when the kids aren't there...
2006-10-27 11:50:13 · answer #5 · answered by bald_guy69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes im only speaking from experience and im not saying he dont like the kids just that he is jealous of them because he is selfish an wants all you time to himself try this rent a movie that everyone will enjoy you get in the middle give all a part of you to touch caress and kiss them all and if after that he still ask that way let him go cause he just dont like the kids and you just showed them all a little romance an didnt leave out no one i hope things work out cause theres nothing like family. if you need to talk furtherdcchingg69@yahoo.com mail me
2006-10-27 11:57:46 · answer #6 · answered by Darnella C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
relationships are hard work- if you want it to last you need to ask yourself why- you treat each other different when the kids are around (this is not healthy for kids to see)-or for you to be going thru- sit down and talk to each other- hopefully you will come up with an answer--if not then maybe it's time to part ways
hope you work things out :)
2006-10-27 12:47:11 · answer #7 · answered by gabby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys have a hard time sharing. When you are alone then he has 100% of you. But when the kids are there, then he has to share your attention.
He should grow up and help be a role model for the kids.
2006-10-27 11:49:03 · answer #8 · answered by scott in minnesota 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's jealous of the attention you give to them. He's immature. Dump him. Do you really want to raise another child
2006-10-27 11:50:28 · answer #9 · answered by WILLIAM W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋