MY FREAKIN best friend?

Question

Last week, my friend got suspended for calling these guys the n-word. They were bothering her. She returned this week. Okay today someone girl asked her why she got suspended and she said because she called a ni**er a ni**er. I'm black so of course i was offended. Then at lunch they were playing hip hop music she was like they need to turn that ni**er sh*t off. Some girl she's hispanic was listening to hip hop or black music and she was like why do you listen to that ni**er sh*t, I listen to pure chicano rap. It's really beginning to piss me off. Well anyways, there was three white people at the table and she has some girl and tell them to get up and leave because this was pure Mexican table. Advice me please. I don't want to ditch because we have been friends for about four years now. I guess one of her other best friend who is 1/4 black 1/4 spanish and 1/2 native american is not talking to her at all. what should i do?

Answer 1

I would sit down and talk to her and tell her that u don't appreciate how she talks about blacks, when she considers one of them her friend.

Answer 2

I'm sorry about your situation. If you're asking what to do about your relationship with her, let me suggest the following:

1. Do not feel bad about your feelings.

(It makes sense for you to be offended, and it makes sense for you to be angry, because she IS disrespecting you, even if she doesn't think about it. If she means black people when she says "******," and you are black, then in her mind, you are also a ******, even if she won't admit it.)

2. You should definitely stop associating with her.

(You don't have to be mean to her or put her down, but real friends don't make you feel bad. And if she's using the word "******" in front of you, that's a sign that she really doesn't care what you think or how you feel.)

3. I would NOT try to talk with her about it.

(I say this because she sounds like her hatred for blacks is pretty strong and deeply rooted. Therefore, nothing you say is likely to make any difference. See, what the young lady needs to realize is that all black people are not the same - and she should already be aware of that, since she has a black friend - you. So, if she can't see that for herself, I doubt that you telling her is going to magically make her understand it.)

4. Notify the counselor at your school, or other adults, about her racist statements and behaviors.

(Do it anonymously if you don't want people to find out that it was you, but she needs some mental help with that. Sounds like she might be bitter about something, and you mentioned that some black people were bothering her, so maybe she's been harassed by people who feel the same way about Hispanics. Whatever's going on, she needs to talk with some adults about that.

5. Figure out what made you think she was your friend in the first place.

(Why do you like her enough to consider her a friend? If you have a hard time thinking of stuff, then maybe you two are not really "friends" after all, and if not, there's nothing about the relationship that's worth saving anyway. You would have nothing to lose by walking away from a disrespectful person.)

So yeah, four things: (1) don't feel bad, (2) stop hanging out with her, (3) don't try to talk her out of being racist, (4) tell some adults, and (5) figure out why she's your friend.

I hope this advice is helpful. Racial conflict is a tough thing to deal with, but you're seeking answers, so I think that in the long run, you'll be okay. And I hope the young lady changes her mind about blacks, so you two can have a healthy friendship.

Answer 3

tell her that she needs to stop being racist there is nothing wrong with the colr of your skin or you back round . if she really is your friend, then she will understand why she is hurting people's feelings and try to change.