i just had a baby september 24 and he died at only 10 days old -- i want/need a baby how long to try again?

Question

i need to know how long to wait before i try again -- i miss my son and am so depressed about it -- help

Answer 1

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i had a still born at 5 months gestation

also depressed

also trying again

please write me if you want/need to talk. I would also need to talk.

ps, to answer your question, my doc told me to wait 3 NORMAL menstrual cycles, but i only carried to 5 months, i'm not sure if you carried all the way.

i'm supper sory for our losses.

please, please write me and let's talk about it

Answer 2

Having another baby so soon, won't cure the pain you feel. Wait a little while until you can sort through your emotions, and grieve. You need healing time, and having another baby right now will only force to to hide the feelings of depression from your loss. I know you want to have a baby, but just wait a little longer. I worry that if you get pregnant so soon after, that you will be so stressed about everything because you will be worried that the same thing will happen again. The stress of depression, and worry can cause problems in your pregnancy. I'm so sorry for your tradgedy. That must be so hard to go through. My prayers are with you.

Answer 3

I am so sorry about your son. If you feel you are ready to have a baby again then its up to you when you want to start trying. I think that you should go see a psychologist before you start trying to have a baby. This new baby isnt going to take the place of your son and I think that you should deal with that first. There is no shame in see someone for help with something like this. Again I am so sorry.

Answer 4

Physically, I would say that when you've had a couple of cycles and you thinks it's all back on track, then you should start trying. Now I say that without knowing the cause of your baby's death, and assuming it wasn't something genetic. If the death of your son had anything to do with genetics, then definitely talk to your doctor.
Emotionnally, I would wait at least 6 monts to a year, to give yourself time to heal. I lost a baby sister and I never got completely over it, but it does get easier with time. My mom took about a year to get over it. You need to get over the loss of your son before getting pregnant again, so you can give your next child all the focus, attention and happy energy he/she will deserve.

I'm very sorry for your loss, and good luck with your future

Answer 5

I am really sorry for your loss. Probably the most tragic thing in the world is to lose a child.

Have you spoken to your doctor? You do not say what caused the death of your son. If his problem was genetic then you and your partner may want to get some genetic counseling prior to trying for another baby. Your decision to try for another baby should be determined by the causes for your baby's death, you health (mental and physical) and the feelings of your husband or partner.

Usually, it is a good thing to get over the grief so the new life can take a stand on its own and not try to bloom in the shadows.

Answer 6

I'm so sorry for you loss!! I lost a child back in 1996. We tried for several years to get pregnant but couldn't till 4yrs later. I really think it depends on your mental status. Are you through greiving over the child you lost? Are you trying to replace the child you lost? Do you think your body is ready to become pregnant again? All these questions plus more come into play when trying to have another baby. You need to make sure you are mentally, physically, and financially capable of taking care of a child.

The key here is to not rush into it, take your time. Let your body mentally and physically heal from the loss. But as for a time period I was told by a pyschologist to wait a year. This way you have had time to greive, think it over, and even build a better relationship with your partner.

One more point I'd like to make is make sure you go the doctor for advice on getting pregnant and follow through with prenatal care once you do become pregnant. And don't be afraid to ask your OB/GYN and Pediatrician (once your child is born) tons of questions. It helps to ease the mind and also allows you to decide if you have good docs.

Good luck on whatever you decide to do.

Answer 7

I just started crying when I read your question. I am so sorry.
You will be on my mind so hard now; I can't imagine what you're feeling. I will pray for you and your family tonight.
I think you need to physically wait at least four months. Emotionally, you need to wait maybe a little longer. Your hormones are going to be dropping drastically in the next few weeks, and you really need to talk to your OBGYN about it and follow his/her advice. They may put you on an antidepressant for a few months to get you through. If they do, that's OKAY! I had to take them after my first baby. It's only natural to be depressed. I'm so sorry, baby.

Answer 8

I am very sorry for your lost. May God hold him in his hands....but..honestly...you should seek help, before planning a nother child. Some people think that just by having another one right after, feels the void. But your body isn't ready. It is till filled with all the hormones that is needed to take care of that first baby. And if you do get pregnant, your stress level and anxieity levels will effect your unborn child. Getting another baby to comfort you in you moment, will not help you. You must grieve first and have excepted the lost before moving on.
You may want to compare it to someone who just lost a husband or wife. Going out to remarry as A.S.A.P is not a safe thing to do.

Answer 9

FIrst my sincere condolences to you and your family. This question if probably best answered by your ob/gyn. He/she knows your medical history. I know that it is a friday and the office is probably closed and this is on your mind and of course that is natural. Until you have another baby and you will, take the time and heal the best that you can, both emotional and physically. You will always miss your baby and feel loss but it will not always been as intensely heart piercing as it is now to you. I have found inspiration reading Deepak Chopra. Reach out to your religion, family, friends, support groups, inspirational reading whenever eases your heart the best that it can be eased at this time. Be patient with yourself - you have been through such a rough time, my thoughts and prayers go out to you.

Answer 10

I am sorry for your loss. I know that the void is great right now and you are overwhelmed with difficult emotions. My advice would be for you to take some time to grieve before you decide to make any type of decisions. I suggest going to a therapist and discussing how you feel and how you are debating when to try for another baby. They are are better qualified to help you on this question and help you through the loss of your son.

Again my deepest sympathy to you.

Answer 11

There is nothing worse than losing a child, and my heart goes out to you. I feel you need to cope with this tragedy before trying again. Pregnancy puts extreme stress on the body and mind, you want to be at your strongest when you conceive once again. Talk to your doctor, as well as a therapist, right now you are in shock and rightfully so, They will advise you as to when you should try. All my best to you.