I don't know what happened, but my ex sucked the life force out of me, and like a dummy i let her. I am what you called a "nice guy". I have been cheated on twice. I never cheat, and always a gentlemen. I have learned my lessons now and continuing to get my balls back. So, really no "nice guy" anymore. Anybody out there have ideas on how to gain your manhood (confidence) back. I feel pretty down and out and need some advice.
2006-10-27 11:05:08 · 8 answers · asked by ? 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
if you have been cheated on its not your fault. i have been cheated on so many times but you just got to move on. go out and have fun and meet new people. you will always find someone better and in time you will find the right person.
2006-10-27 11:15:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm a girl, so this may not work for you, but one thing that has helped me in the past is looking back over the relationship and trying to spot things that I had to "give up" while I was in the relationship, then going and "reclaiming" them. For example, one of my boyfriends wasn't keen on some of my music choices, so I ended up shelving those albums for a few months. After the breakup, I celebrated my freedom by blaring that music for hours on end. Ditto for places he didn't like going, shows he didn't like watching, stuff like that.
It's natural and considerate to curtail yourself to show respect for someone else's feelings, but now you don't have to care about that person's feelings anymore, so make it all about you for a while.
Are there any kind of "interesting" hobbies you might like to take up? Homebrewing, rock climbing, salsa dance? (Do NEVER underestimate the attraction power of knowing how to dance - so many girls love to dance and so many guys refuse to try!) This is partially the "making it all about you" thing again, and partially getting yourself to a point where you can say "You know, I'm actually pretty good at (whatever)". That is confidence too, and confidence of any sort is sexy when used correctly!
2006-10-27 18:20:15 · answer #2 · answered by Katie S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean. I've had three best friends break off the friendship--it HURTS! You feel like it was all your fault, that you weren't good enough for them.
Remember, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. She's a jerk, and you're better off without her. Being a nice guy will help attract nice girls to you. Just be careful. Step back, and look at what you have learned throught this experience. Get to know girls better before you let yourself get attached to them.
You seem like a nice guy---DONT' LOSE THIS QUALITY. Girls like nice guys. It might take time for them to come around and appreicate you back, but it's worth it.
2006-10-27 18:17:32 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey... well wat can i say... its always the nice guy that these sort of things happen to...and eventhough u say ur changing and no more being nice it still wont change ur morals on cheating... so all u can do is be more smart in ur next relationship... be alert and dont trust someone that fast or easily..... and iam sure u heard it all...but trust me good things come to good ppl... my fiance is the most nicest guy and i have my skeltons in the closet...infact i dnt remember a realtionship in which i didnt cheat,,, but with him i have always been honest and faithfull and always will be... simpley coz from day 1 i knew he was not the guy i can mess about with nor i wud have the guts to break his heart....now iam so in love,,,its amazing... so just wait... and be smart!
2006-10-27 18:20:46 · answer #4 · answered by anu r 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
u mite still be down for a couple more days but you cant keep on beating your selp down you need to fell godd about your self
cut your hair do somethin that cahnges u u wiill fell better and cahnge r r good so take a day to take care of yoiur self
2006-10-27 18:09:33 · answer #5 · answered by lauramartiny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think the most important thing is to treat the next person as if she is completely innocent of the crimes of your -ex. 'cause she is. stay nice. nice doesn't mean setting yourself up to be used. not setting yourself up to be used means listening to that little voice you have that tells you what's going on.
your confidence increases when you listen to your best instincts and follow them.
2006-10-27 18:14:43 · answer #6 · answered by cassandra 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take up martial arts. It did miracles for my life.
2006-10-27 19:26:34 · answer #7 · answered by Clown Knows 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't think about all the guys your girl is banging right now
2006-10-27 18:19:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋