not very attracted to husband who is a nice man with good values. husband is a divorcee whose ex left him for another guy. sex has happened maybe about 5 to 6 times in all these months with more fighting scenes then good moments as I recall. Is this normal? is there any hope?
2006-10-27 10:33:27 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Obviously there is a lot of tension in your marriage. When you describe more fighting scenes than good moments, then it is a time for serious reflection, communication, counselling. It would appear that there is potential here; you describe your husband as nice with with having good values. Build on the positive but you two need help. Marriages are somewhat like bank accounts. If you continue to withdraw and you never deposit, then in time you become bankrupt. Similarly, the continued fighting and the absence of sex and positive interaction is going to continue to deplete your marriage. There is hope if there is the will from both of you to make it better. Try not only conventional counselling but also some sex counselling too. Good luck to you .
2006-10-27 10:52:57 · answer #1 · answered by Jo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should go on a vacation or some kind of retreat where you will only have eyes for each other and re-build the passion.
Also, try new things in the bedroom like watching porno as foreplay or new toys. You both have to work on it or the relationship will be doomed. Don't be afraid to make the first move either, even if you are too tired. Sex can help you feel closer to each other, but you also need to communicate better. I would suggest going to an organization like the Marriage Encounter or a seeing a counselor. I know both have helped lots of people.
Well, good luck!
2006-10-27 10:46:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off if you are not very attracted to your husband, why did you marry him? Next sex is a very important part of marriage because it brings closeness in the relationship. If you are fighting more than having sex it is not a good thing and maybe you should either get it on with him more or find a new husband.
2006-10-27 10:41:17 · answer #3 · answered by Christine M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in a similar situation regarding the lack of attraction to my guy even though he's a nice guy. We too, have a few more fights than great communication. I strayed and cheated because I fell for another guy but was too afraid to let the "safe" choice go. Now I face losing them both. I would say that if you're facing these issues now, just hoping isn't enough to fix them and they will only compound over the years and lead to resentment...and like me, possibly ending up in a lot of hurt. I've been in this situation for over 5 years and it only gets more frustrating. Good luck with your decision and if you're in love, I hope you can work it out.
2006-10-27 10:41:14 · answer #4 · answered by ArrestingDistraction 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could the lack of attention be your fault? Are you making [provocative moves and wearing the skimpies at the right place and time. Phyllis Diller, met her husband at the front door when he came home from work one day, nude, except for being wrapped in clear saran wrap. He said "what, left overs again."
If you get that answer, then maybe he is gay. Maybe you are not trying hard enough. No, it is not normal for a healthy male to be that cold. I hope you work it out. Good luck.
2006-10-27 10:42:28 · answer #5 · answered by loufedalis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well,
Put on a nightie,
have a bottle of oil in warm water, warm oil feels great. Pour some oil all over your chest and let him give you a message there, then drizzle it down across your belly and in between your legs and let him message you alllll over.
Pick out a couple sex toys that you would enjoy and let him use them on you. Be the naughty little vixen that we all want, ha, I do anyways.
Maybe that will turn him on. Dammit, to bad my wife is working now because its starting to get me worked up thinking about it.
Good luck. And are you 2 in financial trouble? Is he cheating? Something is stressing him out and you need to find out what that is.
2006-10-27 10:41:33 · answer #6 · answered by scott in minnesota 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, this isn't normal, I would explore medical reasons for your husband's lack of desire/ability/interest in sex. There are several conditions that can affect sexual performance and sexual drive. You could also try marriage counseling. Fighting is guaranteed to make things worse, not better.
2006-10-27 10:40:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is time for a serious talk. You both need to sit down and express how you feel about the other person, how you feel the marriage is going, and how you can both work to make things better. Then follow through with the suggestions.
2006-10-27 10:36:11 · answer #8 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You hit the rocks hard. You need to sit down and figure out where you guys are and where you are heading. Sounds like you are very depressed and not very happy. All realationships go through there moods. Better look long and hard at this one before it shatters.
2006-10-27 10:39:49 · answer #9 · answered by live4logan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you arent very attracted to him,why did you marry him?..Maybe your less attraction to him has pushed you away from wanting to have sex with him..Maybe hes scared your gonna leave him as well for another man.Try to communicate with him,,its the best solution...Good luck
2006-10-27 10:36:40 · answer #10 · answered by Brenda V 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋