Should I tell my friend that her husband to be has been sleeping with me?

Question

I don't want to ruin things between us. Or between me and Garry.

Answer 1

On balance, since your friend is not married yet and there is still time for her to walk away, I think you should confess to her, but you must realise that you have already betrayed her trust and destroyed your friendship with her. Believe me, this Garry is not worth having. He too has betrayed her trust and if he can do that to her, he will almost certainly do it to you - if he has not already done so. Are you sure you're the only "other woman" in his life?

I think you should tell your friend, break things off with Garry and never see him again, and arrange to have some tests done as soon as possible to make sure Garry has not given you any nasty infections. This is a very sad situation. You have lost your friend who should have been far more important to you than Garry could be. And worst of all, if you have any self-awareness at all, you have done some serious damage to your self-respect.

If I had done what you've done, I would have to move away to where no-one knew me, and try to build a new life for myself, resolving to maintain better standards in future.

Answer 2

Tell Garry it is over between the two of you. I think I would want to know if I was your friend, so I would not make a big mistake! Because Garry may not be the type of guy, to settle down, and I would want to know, but do you have the heart to tell your friend? she may hate you! But it is better to know, then not to know!

Answer 3

You can still refer to her as a friend when you are sleeping with her husband? How does that work? You have sex with him and then call her for coffee?

You don't want to ruin things between you and the wife or between you and the husband?!

What do you expect out of this affair? You don't want him because he will cheat on you too. And chances are he doesn't want to leave your "friend" and his "wife".

Here is what I can see happening. She will find out. (she probably already knows) There will be a huge blow up. The two of them will stay together and try to work things out. (Which they won't because he will find someone else to play with) And you will be wherever you were before the affair minus one friend.

Stay away from married men. They are all the same. I don't know how woman that play with them are sucked into believing that you are different from any of the other women they use, including their wives. Very sick........................

Answer 4

If you're sleeping with your friends husband then you have already ruined things between you and her.by telling her you are probably doing the right thing but it will be the end of your affair,and your friendship. You really need to take a good look in the mirror - how can you like what you see? What if someone (A FRIEND )were to sleep with Your husband ?!?!

Answer 5

Stop stop stop stop stop seeing him.How can u say youre her friend when u are sleeping with her husband to be. That is really out of order and i think deep down you must know that. Sit down think about how you would feel if you were here and found out. Then take action.stop seeing him and find yourself a new single man. If i were you i wouldnt actually tell her because it may all blow up but maybe u need to put some distance between yourself and her and not see her or her husband for quite a while. That is really out of order.... just think ppl dont expect their friends to do things like that to them!!! have a little more respect for yourself ...he obv wants her if he is gonna marry her... leave him

Answer 6

First of all do not use the word friend. My advice, just disappear, say nothing, the pain would be to much to bare for her ,I imagine. Let her catch him with the next chick, and there will be one. Don't let her know that low life is sleeping with her so-called friend. As for you get over Garry he is a loser, can't u see that. You are the worst kind of woman - the worst kind.

Answer 7

YES! Things are already ruined. You will lose a friend but obviously you were not friends are you wouldnt have slept with her soon to be husband. My ex-husband cheated on me the whole time I was married its not fun being in a relationship like that. If you care about her a little bit you will tell her. Dont let her ruin her life. HE IS A CHEATER. Good luck.

Answer 8

In my opinion you don't really consider her a friend or you wouldnt be sleeping with her husband! Poor her! Her friend and her husband have both stabbed her in the back!

Sooner or later the situation will come out, and you will lose out. But you deserve it.

You sound like a horrible thoughtless person.

Answer 9

Some Friend you are !!!! Perhaps you should look up the term friend, With a friend like you who needs enemies, what you need to do is get out of this poor womans life and stay away from her husband

Answer 10

Ok lets be honest if it was my husband I would be mad who wouldn't right? But lets face the facts stuff like this happens all the time granted you knew what you were doing was wrong and obviously feel some remorse/guilt if you are considering telling her. I think you should take into consideration how you would feel if put in your friends shoes and if what you and Garry have is really what you want long term wise after all he did cheat on his wife are you sure he'll stay committed to you or will he get bored and cheat on you too. Either way someone is going to get hurt and you're better off to just be honest with both parties. Do what you feel is right/fair the decision is ultimately yours.