i am a married woman and have one kid too. we have a happy married life and i am married to my husband since 10 years now. Four years back, i came across this guy over the net. we both met each other later and eventually our families hv a nice relationship too. i am respected a lot at his end by his parents and other family members. His family has faith in me tht i wud always guide him rightly. i know we are not marrying because for no fault of my family, i wud not like them to suffer just because i developed this soft corner for someone else. This is made very clear between us but then we dont want to part fm each other and want to stay in touch with each other even after he gets married. There has never been a physical relationship between us. But the emotional tie is so strong. We stay miles away fm each other. We dont meet often. We just want to be for each other whenever required in our bad times as good partners to share. dont know if i am wrong, nor do i know wat to do.
2006-10-27 10:05:21 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You're woman cheating(or what it used to be)... I think now called emotional cheating. I mean, if you have the same relationship with your husband and this guy is a friend, then it's okay. If you and this guy talk everyday and have that relationship where it's everything but physical, you might as well be physical, because it's not okay.
2006-10-27 10:10:07 · answer #1 · answered by Nep 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The concept of emotional cheating is vague, but consider that when you get too emotionally involved with this other man, then you will be more prone to getting physically/sexually involved. Just because you haven't yet, doesn't mean it won't happen in the future.
Also realize, if you are giving this emotional energy to someone else, you may be denying your husband those bonding opportunities that will make your marriage stronger, and will help your family stay united through the hard times. Do you think risking all that you have built together is wise?
Because you admit that you are feeling "in love" with this man, and because you are asking for concensus, this leads me to think that you already know it is wrong to continue on this course. A short period of infatuation is normal, but four years later you have become too dependent on his "feel good", and by your own account this is not "brotherly love" that has developed.
Question how selfish do you want to be. You have a good marriage and the start of a family. Why is that not enough? How would your husband feel if you told him this truth? Do you honestly think that if your marriage entered a rough time, that you would not "escape" to this other man? Has it occurred to you that you are wasting this other man's time? That you are squandering your husband's emotional investment?
You are setting the stage for a very painful and disruptive outcome. If you truly care about the people involved, then you would put the brakes on this whole affair. By the two of you clinginging to each other emotionally, you are not honoring your vows to your husband and you are retarding your friend's ability to find his own happy marriage.
You may try to justify it because the families are involved now and everything is hunky dory on the surface...but you know better. Imagine eveyone gathered in the room and you share this forum with them. Could you, with clear conscience?
2006-10-27 11:10:09 · answer #2 · answered by ladyquesteur 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one and I am somewhat in the same situation. The hard part is its difficult to deny an emotional connection with someone else. But though its been killing me I have to give you the advice that I have been taking, which is minimize any contact whatsoever -- meaning exchanging the occassional email once or twice a year is probably ok but otherwise, unless you want to break up your family, you need to minimize contact. Or you can leave your husband now before the other guy gets married - at least that way only your family is getting hurt. This is a very big deal, do you really want to take that step?
2006-10-27 10:16:20 · answer #3 · answered by I'm Trying 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing morally wrong with what you're doing and how you feel. You have to realize that feelings are personal. Just like an opinion, you could never be wrong in that. We are human and naturally act humanly. You love your family. You haven't left your family. You and this man are separate. You do have a relationship though. There is nothing wrong with this relationship. He is a friend. True, a deep friendship. There is nothing wrong with loving someone. More love and love. This is what the world needs. You don't need to know what to do. Keep things the way that they are. Just keep in mind that you have a husband and family. God blessed you with a family, and he has also blessed you with a true friend. Nothing more than a friend.
2006-10-27 10:16:30 · answer #4 · answered by ladyk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IMHO a married woman shouldn't have close realtionships with emotional hugga bugga going on with other men. Your responsibility is to your husband. Your title says you are in love with this other guy. Cut it off. NOTHING good can come of it but a lot of pain to everyone involved. Think how you would feel if your husband was in love with another woman?! Put your energy and emotion into your marraige.
2006-10-27 10:13:59 · answer #5 · answered by PennyPickles17 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's ok to be friends with a guy if there are no roamntic ties, otherwise it just isn't fair to you husband and kid. You need to cut ties with this guy. Your both adults and make friends easily. If you are romantically attracted to this guy you are cheating your family out of an honest relationship with you. Although you haven't done anything YET, it's obvious to me that if this relationship continues, you be treading on thin ice. Break it off now and rekindle your marriage to you HUSBAND. You shoyldn't be thinking about whether his family respects you or not--They are not your family-Your husband's family matters! Cut iff now and grow up.
2006-10-27 10:14:40 · answer #6 · answered by court 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it. I was in this situation with a married woman who was seperated. It was good at the start until her husband got involved and started making threats to sell her house etc. If your going to do it, break up with him first, get yourself sorted somewhere else, and get settled into a new life with no financial ties with your ex, this way he has no hold on you. Then and only then pursue this other guy, or he will end up getting hurt, just like I did. Remember we only have one shot at being truly happy, don't screw it up over the sake of a few shags.
2006-10-27 10:10:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are forgetting that you are a married woman, and your obligation is to your husband. The energy that you spend on line or where ever, with this man, is not right. How would you feel if your husband was doing it. you would not like it. Work on making your marriage strong. and doing the right things, to make it up to your husband!
2006-10-27 10:15:25 · answer #8 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MY question is how do u say u have a great relationship with your husband if u are cheating on him? You contradict yourself-you are not mature enough to be married
2006-10-27 10:09:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut off your emotional relationship with him before you get yourself into trouble.
2006-10-27 10:07:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋