i have a lack of confidence on me,i cant come out of my shell so i have almost no frnds?

Question

i always have a fear to go in public places,i cant get attention of people in a meeting ,coz i cant express myself in a proper way.On the other hand on stage i am a very good speaker with lots of confidence.I always feel a fear of doing something wrong.Due to this i have very less frnds and concentration on my work.please help me to get out of this situation .

Answer 1

I'm so sorry to hear this. What you really need to do is spend some time thinking about YOU.

You'll need a piece of paper and a pen.

I want you to write down things you are good at. Then write down parts of your personality that you are proud of eg. are you kind, do you have a sense of humour etc. Then write down all your achievements even the little ones.

Write as many things down as you can. But the thing is YOU MUST BE HONEST. People who feel like you are hard on themselves and say ' I'm no good.'

When you have made that list, you need to practice saying all the good things about yourself TO yourself.

You see, the problem is that if we constantly tell ourselves the bad stuff then we WILL end up believing it.

That's why you need to build yourself up and focus on all the good there is in you. Say it out loud when you are on your own.
Learn to believe all the good things that you REALLY ARE! Everytime you think something bad about yourself, correct yourself and think 'no, that's not true.....I am ....' (then say something more positive)

It is when you believe these good things about yourself that you will develop more confidence. You will see that you ARE as good as anyone else and you have good things to say.

When you want to say something, think about what you want to say then say it. But TAKE YOUR TIME SAYING IT. Nervous people usually rush what they are saying because they think no one will be interested.....but you'll see that they are.

Some people are very chatty and some very loud and that can make it hard to be heard because they are louder and can command more attention.

Start off by talking to one or two people....then at least you'll have more chance of having a turn to speak.

Also, when you are talking...don't think about yourself....how you sound, whether they look interested etc. because that will freak you out!

It is always a good idea to ask people questions that they CAN'T answer with a simple yes or no. So a good question might be something like....'Oh, tell me more about that.' People love to be asked questions about themselves and when they start answering, all the attention is off you and you can relax. If you listen to their answer then you'll probably think of another question from what they've said and you'll see the conversation will start to flow.

Remember this : You are a worthy person. You DESERVE to be listened to but probably no one realizes how hard it is for you and don't give you enough chance.

Write about all the good things you are, the good things you've done and begin to believe in yourself. YOU ARE as good as everybody else.

I hope this helps.

Answer 2

For him to be 21 and no longer realize what to do sexually is stressful to mention the least. Though it sounds as if, he can not be that incredible of a boyfriend if you happen to 2 are not having intercourse, I realize intercourse isn't the be all and finish all of a courting, however all people right here I'm certain will agree that it's VERY most important to a healthful courting. Also the truth that you 2 had been in combination for "really many years" but have no longer had intercourse but, makes me just a little doubtful of your "really many years" declare, as I do not see any girl round 21 that might say "ehhhh now we have been in combination for years and have not had intercourse, however it is no enormous deal" it certainly is a enormous deal if you are asking us right here approximately it. There's sluggish after which there is snail velocity. Sometimes your nice guess is to only bounce on him and do it, that approach he will don't have any approach of claiming sorry or being embarassed. (My nice pal continually used to mention "I'm sorry" to his female friend, I can not let you know how wholly disturbing it's to observe a person ALWAYS apologizing) Sometimes a person simply demands to be a person and take his girl. It sounds carnal and primal however we're all animals on the finish of they day. Once he has had intercourse with you, and is comfy you can be competent to open him up extra approximately matters he likes, matters you prefer and pass from there, however if you happen to can not even get him at the bus but, there is not any approach you can ever succeed in your orgasmic vacation spot. If you 2 can not converse approximately whatever as major as your possess sexuality, then I have critical doubts to this courting, telling you he loves you and taking you to exceptional areas is pleasant, however has no touching on conversation, which is absolutely the basis of any durable courting. I can inform my spouse some thing, from embarassing scientific problems to mundane affairs, and I don't have any obstacle telling her some thing approximately myself with reference to my possess sexuality, matters I like, do not like and many others. You can not construct his trust with out constructing his ego and whenever you spice up his ego, you can quickly see you may have created a monster, and as soon as he does ultimately have interaction his sexuality, he'll ultimately go away you, being that you're his first truly come across. My advice is to reduce your losses, that is whatever so that they can require months if no longer years of in depth dedication in your facet, and this can be whatever disturbing for him that he has not ever triumph over and you're combating a wasting struggle, considering his brain will continually justify it. He demands to get up, develop a suite and the one approach for him to do that's so that you can transfer on. Sorry if it is not the reply you desire to listen to.

Answer 3

Very strange, as those who lack self confidence and avoid public enounters generally don't do public speaking either. I was going to suggest joining Toastmasters International, however you may need to speak with a counselor regarding your public fears.

Answer 4

Talk to your doctor----there is a very real disorder (I can't remember the name!) that causes social anxiety like yours.
Because you are confident on a stage, it appears that you fear "unstructured" interaction.
Counseling or medication can help.

Answer 5

try going out to places with your current friends and build from there. or you can take some public speaking classes at any local college, which help you gain confidence and be able to speak to groups