ok heres my situation. im 18 my gf is 16 and she got pregnant with my kid. i said if she had it i would be willing to adopt or take control of the kid if she couldnt yet today she went down and got a abortion anyways. she says she loves and all that but how can i trust her now knowing she took my kid for good and it never had a chance? i told her that maybe its better we dont see eachother anymore cause i cant deal with the pain of knowing she killed my kid even though it was both our faults she got pregnant. should i continue to try and work things out knowing ill never have a kid with her agian because of this or just move on? i have a place with my sister in kansas i can move to till i get on my feet and thats what i want to do but is it right?
2006-10-27 10:02:21 · 21 answers · asked by andy s 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You have every right to be mad, even though she is 16 an abortion should of been a mutual decision. Look deep inside your heart and see whats best for you to do, im pretty sure you will come up with the right decision.
good luck
2006-10-27 10:15:54 · answer #1 · answered by H0T_SAUZE 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to leave. Look at what she did to you. I know that she is young but that does not give her the right to end someones life. There are other option that she sould have chosen like you suggested Adoption or fostering. What about these poor men and women who can't have a family of thier own. That baby would have made someones life, even if she thinks it could have ruined hers. It sounded like you wanted to have this baby. Did you explain to her that you did before she went and got an abortion? I think the best thing is for you to move because if you don't you might later down the track resent her for what she did. She must be going through a hard time right now as well but she did what she thought was best at the time. I just hope that in years to come when she wants a family that she is able to have one. You will be happy at your sisters. Move on with your life. Find someone your age and if you want to have a family then do it. You are young but life is short. Do what makes you happy. No one can tell you what to do. We can only give you advice. I wish you the best and all the happiness in this world.
2006-10-27 17:13:35 · answer #2 · answered by rach 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately situations like this happen more than they should. If this is really bothering you maybe you should speak to a counselor or someone who understands your situation. I know even though you never saw the child you still loved it and wanted it to be a part of your life. Right now getting away from her might be a good idea until you have time to come to terms with the situation. Your feelings toward her are too strong for you to have any kind of a relationship that will lead to anything positive. I've never lost a child, but had a friend who did. I wish you the best.
2006-10-27 17:15:42 · answer #3 · answered by veronica_pilcher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is exactly why it is wrong to have sexual relations before marriage. Things get to complicated. and decisions are made, by two young people that are definitely wrong and sinful. The need for repentance is for both of you. The best thing to do would be some counseling for you are both hurting, from the loss of life of an Innocent child. Perhaps a clergyman could advise you if either of you have one. I am so sorry that things have come to a tragic ending for both of you. Life will go on and the girl at 16 will need to go on with school and you as well at 18. Is a talk with the parents possible either yours or hers. If not seek counseling before making a decision. What are her thoughts on your next move?
2006-10-29 20:52:49 · answer #4 · answered by pooterilgatto 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hi andy
i understand where ur comin from and i personally dont agree with abortions but u have to look at it from her point of view, she is 16 and most prob still at school, and say if she did keep the child i know u say now u would of kept it and adopted it but what about ur feelings changing half way thought the pregnancy, i say this because my ex done that to me even though abortions was one of my choices he dropped me like a tone of hot bricks, give urself and ur girlfriend some time to get over this change of events and maybe u could mend things with her because at this moment in time she is goin to need ur support, she may of thought she was doin the right thing at the time ask her how she feels about it now, and never say never, u may go on to live a wonderful life together but dont hold it against her for getting rid of the baby as she is still a baby herself
all the best if u want any more advice from me u can get my email of my profile
take care
2006-10-27 17:15:07 · answer #5 · answered by Cheeky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you don't adopt your own kid, it is already yours. You offered to take control of the kid. Why didn't you offer to marry her or help instead of "i'll take it if you can't take care of it" I would have been a little freaked out if i were her too. i personally don't agree with abortion and think it is wrong that the man has no say in the life or death of his child. i feel you on that. as far as leaving her it sounds like you have already made up your mind and it did not sound like a good relationship to begin with. if you can not forgive her then you should move on.
2006-10-27 17:13:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey,
I would move on if I was you, I couldn't look at her anymore, knowing that she would have my baby and didn't love me enough to keep it...I think it was rude and heartless of what she did to you even after you tried to persuade her...You never know if you stayed with her, and she get pregnant for you again, she might just kill that one too...You will have a better life, if you find someone that loves you and wants to have your baby instead of killing it...Not many guys that knocks up a girl, wants them to keep it, alot of them wants them to abort, so I am very proud of you....I know when I got pregnant with my first one, I was scared to tell my mom and dad, and I didn't have a job or any money, and I told a guy that I might be pregnant for his child and he told me to have an abortion b/c he didn't want his gf finding out that he cheated on her, but I told him, that I wasn't going to because she was my child also and that if he didn't want anything to do with the baby, I wouldn't force him to....I never talk to him after that and she is 2 years old now!!! I think it would be better for you to move to Kansas, at least you wouldn't have to put up with that girl you had!!! She wasn't a real girlfriend if you ask me...If she was, she wouldn't did that to you!!! I know a person who was 12 and got pregnant and she kept her baby!!! But anyways, good luck, follow your heart, and best wishes to any decisions that you make!!!
2006-10-27 17:58:05 · answer #7 · answered by afinechic_2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think moving in with your sister would in the long run be the best decision for both you and your girlfriend. When someone breaks your trust and betrays you like she did its very hard to forgive. Impossible to forget. Unless you think this is the woman youll mary, its just too much baggage youll probably end up resenting her and in return shell feel unloved and Its just a terribly long healing procsess, so if your in it for the long haul, take a chance on her. If your not sure, let her go.
2006-10-27 17:43:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is her body and her choice however, I seriously think she should have consulted you. It seems to me that you are really hurt by what she has done and I don't see how you guys could "go back to the way things used to be" I would say...move on, I know it's not something you want to hear but she betrayed you and I don't understand how she could ever be trusted again. Good Luck to you sweetie.
ANOTHER THING!! At least you care! So many women are dumped when they find out they are pregnant. Good for you, I'm glad you wanted to stand by your girlfriend, especially at such a young age.
2006-10-27 17:22:12 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs_Rivera2U 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is wise for you to go visit your sister in Kansas. It sounds like she is just too immature for these kinds of tough decisions. It is good you take credit for your actions, too bad she couldn't do the same. Maybe if you separate you will be able to let yourself heal and begin a new relationship...and this time, just some advice...don't let the physical get involved too early. Have a good fun relationship of friendship...once you involve physical things, life just gets complicated! Save it until after you are married...it solves a lot of life's problems. Good Luck, and I am sorry for your loss.
2006-10-27 17:14:45 · answer #10 · answered by jamiasl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋