Two months after my son was born I found out my husband was having an affair with the attorney he works for, and she is 20 years his senior!!! I have since found out that during my pregnancy, he was cheating with another girl from the office,, and she is also married. I asked him to move out because I was so upset by the fact the he had so little regard for our babies health and welfare, out sleeping around and then coming home to me. He could have given me a STD and that could have harmed our baby. He doesn't understand why I am so upset, and tells me I'm crazy. Has anyone else had an experience like this and how do you cope???
2006-10-27 09:59:55 · 33 answers · asked by Don't shop, adopt! 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i believe it is a hard thing to get past, but i also think and take it for what it's worth, that once they begin cheating it will always be this way, and it is easier to get out now than wait around and put your heart into it again, and find out you have been betrayed again.you aren't crazy,your being realistic about it, reality is what you need to make hard decisions like this.he thinks if he minimizes the situation and plays it down that you will too, but really he is not remorseful, nor does he take responsibility for this at all, so if he doesn't view it as wrong than he will indeed do it again. don't settle for him, theres someone better for you out there, don't comprimise your belief system here, or you will be conprimising it in the future, if someone hurts you confront it, if there is no remorse from the person who hurt you than i would be out of there.
2006-10-27 11:16:08 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG he is compeley selfish and if he thinks that those things were alright to do, then he really has a problem. But you did the right thing, if he didn't care once about the consenquices that he was going to face when you found out that he was cheating then he doesn't desrive you... Family is supose to come first... you lost you and his family and if he can't understand why your so upset it's his problem not yours.. just don't let it stress you out...loser like that don't desrive women like you... thats why half the time you are always single because they don't understand what a realtionship, or commitment is.. move on and you'll be better off without him...
2006-10-27 10:29:54 · answer #2 · answered by maria U 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear that... He is so wrong to risks passing a std too you and your children, How selfish is that...
I am having a similiar situation like yours the only difference is I do not have any proof that he is cheating on me. I am only assuming because I am 8mth's pregnant, he has not touched me. The last time we had sex, it was when the baby was conceived. He sleeps on the couch every night and he totally ignores me. I got fed up and I asked him was he cheating on me because we have not been together and he said that I am being ridicoulous.
I said too him that I will never have sex with him unless he shows me proof that he is healthy. I suggested that he takes a Aids tests and he got so upset at me and said that he is busy working hard and he does not need to come home to BS... So he is not going to admit it too me but I am watching him.. It so frustrating too be with someone that you can't trust and on top of it all, you have to worry that he does not pass a disease to me and the children.. Good Luck and hopefully things get better for you...
2006-10-27 10:12:07 · answer #3 · answered by Vicky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be scared. You deserve so much better than what he is giving you. He has cheated on you several times who's too say he's not anymore. Of course you don't believe because he's a cheater. You need to get out of this relationship and find you. Do things you like, go out with girlfriends, etc..Then when you least expect it you will meet someone that will treat you with the respect you deserve. No woman deserves this kind of man. Good Luck
2016-03-17 05:49:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every reason to be upset. He's just telling you that you are crazy because he's trying to justify what he did. But, there is no justification for him cheating on you. You did the right thing by asking him to leave. You don't deserve someone treating you this way. My ex did this to me too. The best thing to do right now, is to continue to put your child first and just take one day at a time. Things will get better as time goes on. Good luck!
2006-10-27 10:13:02 · answer #5 · answered by cee cee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was that man in a past life and learned the very hard way. and now I would never even think of cheating so to shed some positive light men do change but it has to be his idea.
I suggest strongly if you love this guy and you think you can get past this to try to work things out if both parties are willing. and then forgive him and make him slowly earn your trust back.. But he has to make a big effort to change.
My wife seperated from me when I cheated and then started dressing hot and going to bars and left me with the kids until I was on my best behavior. needles to say that worked for a while she eventually found a great guy that could keep his penis in his pants and honored his wedding vows and she is extremely happy.
I am now on my second marrage and Its funny when you really love someone and you don't want to risk losing them you never even think of cheating again
2006-10-27 10:17:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce him fast. You and your baby deserve much better. For your own health its the best thing to do. Your Child needs a role-model as a father and that man cannot provide him/her with that. Also make sure you get tested for HIV/AIDS and STDs. You could also ring around to the girls he has been with and try and find out more. Good Luck!
2006-10-27 10:07:31 · answer #7 · answered by Giraffe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately when a husband can cheat on his wife he isn't usually be the type to be considerate. There is no easy way to deal with it, don't let him make you feel like you are crazy, he is wrong on many counts. If you can financially, physically and mentally manage with a young baby on your own, I say go ahead and kick his a** to the curb.
2006-10-27 10:59:20 · answer #8 · answered by DownAndOut 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No personal experience, plenty of business experiece due to helping folks who had similar troubles.
OF COURSE HE'S GOING TO SAY YOU'RE CRAZY! In a cheater's mind, they didn't do anything wrong or what they did isn't "that bad."
He's like a dog, sniffing out what he can get. Dump him, get child support and don't sleep with him anymore. Next time, he could bring HIV home.
2006-10-27 10:02:55 · answer #9 · answered by The Divorce Guru 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am glad you kick him to the curb......you just did the best thing for you & your baby....you are not crazy....but he sound as if you are the one who did the cheating....but my story is the same....married 10 y&found out he was doing it for the longest time....i called my doctor get tested...thank god iam fine...but the fear of getting aids or any thing was very scary.....now iam in a middle of divorce&moving with my doughter who is 9 years old.....
2006-10-27 10:14:54 · answer #10 · answered by Jazzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋