I live with my boyfriend, and we moved so we wouldnt be destracted by all of our friends. But i dont know anyone but family here. I still talk to some of my friends and i love it, but everytime i do i just get sad because when i lived at home i didnt really get to experience being a teeneager my rents were realy strict and now that im on my own and can do that stuff i have a baby to take care of. i just feel like im really missing out on my teen life. I never got to go to parties or spend the night with my friends. but i love my baby girl more then anything and my boyfriend is great im so happy with them, but i just feel sad all the time like tonight is a friday night all my friends are out im sure getting all dressed up to go have fun and im home with my baby. I mean even if i were togo out now i couldnt enjoy myself because all i would be thinking about is her and if she is ok( even leaving her home with her dad and i trust him) im bummin out.
2006-10-27 09:43:52 · 37 answers · asked by Hunny 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I THINK IT IS NORMAL **** I FEEL THIS WAY AND I AM 25. WHAT I DO IS GET GRANDMA TO WATCH THE BABY AND GO OUT WITH MY HUBBY TO DINNER OR A MOVIE AND I HAVE FUN. WE HAVE EVEN GONE DANCING AND OUT WITH OUR FRIENDS. YOU WILL ALWAYS THINK ABOUT YOUR BABY. ITS PART OF BEING A MOM. I THINK ABOUT MY BABY GIRL BUT ITS GOOD TO GET AWAY AND HAVE THE 2 OF YOU TIME. ITS HEALTHY!
2006-10-27 09:47:11 · answer #1 · answered by LOVE MY LIFE 5 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Trust me when I say your not alone in feeling like this. I'm 17 as well, and I have 2 children already! Unlike you I did party alot and do alot of the "teenage" stuff, and now I actually find it kinda boring. You will miss out on alot that you could have done. But think about it, what if you had made a different choice, you may not have that sweet little girl that you love so much. In the end she will always be the person you think about the most.
You do need to be able to find time for yourself everyone once in awhile though. Some people think mothers should never leave their children but being a mother can be a very emotional and draining job, and you need an escape every so often to bring yourself back together, even if its only a couple hours.
Another thing is, and I don't mean to sound rude at all, but have you seen a doc about post-partum depression? I didn't have it with my first but they diagnosed me after my second. Its not a bad thing, and it happens to alot of mothers, no matter what their age is. It just makes you feel rather down like you are feeling, and it will not last forever. They can prescribe you anti-depressants, ones that are safe for breastfeeding too. I'm personally on Zoloft and it has really helped.
2006-10-27 11:57:08 · answer #2 · answered by Chelle's Belle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should be the spokes person for all the other teens that want a baby. Im 29 with two and I still feel sometimes that I missed out I had my first at 20. But it is normal to feel this way, and trust me since you had a baby so young you will still be young when she is grown up enough for you to have your social life back. Maybe try planning a girls night out every other month and trust that your partner will do a fine job with the baby. We all need a break every now and than. I know that it seems overwhelming right now but the bond that you will form with your child is more important than anything in this world. Trust me, you will be ok. Good luck and don't be afraid to have a good cry every now and then, it helps too!!!All the best to you.
2006-10-27 09:51:22 · answer #3 · answered by kendra B 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You are so lucky to have what you do. A beautiful baby girl. I have been ttc for ova a yr and I get bummed out because I can't have a child, but I do know how you feel. I am 22 yrs old. Sure I have friends but I don't know if they are really my friends. If your friends really cared about you and were true friends then what is stopping them from coming to visit you every once in a while? Maybe you should go to parenting classes to meet people who are in the smae situation as you. You will make many friends that also have kids so they will understand how you feel much better than I would or your other friends. Hope that I could have helpes in any way. Good luck and don't feel lonely. Everything will work out for you I hope.
2006-10-27 09:51:54 · answer #4 · answered by rach 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
As much as I feel bad for you hun, You made this choice and now have to live with it. You both decided to have sex and have this baby. Your "party days" was put on hold as your baby matters more than those nights.
Now, that doesn't mean you and him should have to be home all the time. Even older adults need their "adult time fun".
What you and him need to do is set 1 day a week to go out. Whether to dinner, go to a spa treatment with your female friends, hang with friends for 2 or 3 hours at a pub or go on a "day" vacation to the beach or amusement park. NOTHING IS WRONG with doing that. Parents need their time too!
Just, you have to understand that you made the choice to grow up fast by becoming an adult when you had this baby. So, work with what you have.
Have someone you trust to watch her. Start out with small time. Like an hour to go shopping by yourself or with friends. Over time, you will start to become comfortable being gone just a little longer. Checking in on her of course. It is a natural instinct to want to take care of her and protect her. However, mommy and daddy need their time too so don't get depressed or burned out on parenthood/adulthood.
2006-10-27 16:43:03 · answer #5 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you are gonna be happy, you are going to have to let go of the whole "missing out" thinking.You are a grown up now.I was 19 when I had my first child,he's 16 now.Try to go out at times,I know this is hard because you will only think of the baby the whole time. Me and my husband would look so forward to going out and all we did was talk about the kids the whole time.You can't change it.There is now someone more important than you.That's what being a good parent is.Pat yourself on the back because some teenagers don't get it when they have children.I'm proud of you.The best times in life lay ahead of you.You haven't missed a thing.
2006-10-27 09:54:34 · answer #6 · answered by kelliekareen 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
People love getting on here and saying what you should have done and you should have thought of this or that before you got pregnant, but even the proudest moms who waited until they were older to have children still feel as though they missed out. Just see if you can get your boyfriend to keep the baby so you can get a minute or so to hang out with your friends...either him or someone in your family. Don't let these people on here discourage you and make you think you don't deserve to have a life just because you are responsible for someone else's.
2006-10-27 09:56:15 · answer #7 · answered by 07jaggrad 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Such is the life of a teenage mother. Unfortunately you assumed an adult role by having a baby as a teenager. You are a mother and that baby is your first responsibility. Having a baby changes everything.
Perhaps you can try leaving your baby at home with your boyfriend for short periods of time (like a couple hours) until you get used to the idea that he will take good care of her and that she will be safe without you. It is unhealthy to worry all of the time. Parents definately need to take some time away from their children. Good luck!
2006-10-27 09:48:15 · answer #8 · answered by jshepard17 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I am 33 and feel that way sometimes. I am married with 3 kids. I have "girls nite" at my house. It works for me because I am there with my kids and having adult time with my friends. We usually rent a movie get a pizza and do manicures and pedicures. Get some of your girlfriends together and try this. It isnt expensive and you can kind of have the best of both worlds. Depending on what time your daughter goes to bed, maybe you could do this after bedtime one night. Not to point out the obvious, but by being a teenage mom you are going to miss out on things you think you should be doing. You will have to find healthy alternatives that are good for you and your new family. Good Luck
2006-10-27 09:52:58 · answer #9 · answered by his temptress 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I felt and sometimes feel the same way. I was 18 when I had my daughter. I missed out on my senior prom and everything. Maybe you should talk with your doctor or a trusted friend about your feelings. You might need some meds to help balance you out for awhile. Don't give up...it does get better. Good luck to you and God Bless.
2006-10-27 10:03:51 · answer #10 · answered by ♥just me♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they are Really your Friends why don't you tell your boyfriend to go out for the night and have a few of them come over to have a girls night ... maybe after your daughter is asleep. you could watch a movie or have girl talks (that seems to be what you need) you do need time for yourself to still feel like you matter and to talk with other people your age. If you don't want them over your place then ask if your parents would watch your daughter or his parents (if your un-comforted by leaving her with just dad) don't forget they did a good job raising you and your boyfriend so they know what they are doing for one evening.
2006-10-27 09:53:20 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋