My friend is getting married tomorrow, and we are suposed to go to the wedding. It is 4 hours away, and its really not a good time for us. For one, my husband is working, and doesn't want to take the time off work as we need the money, and he is in a important position on this job, which could be very benificial for him in future jobs, so doesn't want to take time off. Secondly, our 2 year old is sick, fever on antibiotics, I am not feeling well, running a temp also. I tred to talk to her about it but she is really stressed, and pissed because numerous people have cancelled, and the whole wedding planning process has been a nightmare. I feel bad, and I don't want her to be upset with me, and would hope that she would understand the circumstances. She is also 7 1/2 months pregnant, so her emotions are also running high. How do I deal with this situation so there will be no hard feelings.
2006-10-27 09:27:47 · 32 answers · asked by shrimpseys 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I really don't want to pack up my sick 2 year old for a 4 hour drive, and we would only be there for Sat, and come home sunday. Am I being a unfair friend by not wanting to go?
2006-10-27 09:29:03 · update #1
Oh ya, we have no family here where we live, so baysitter is not an option, that would end up costing $250 for the week-end just for sitter, not including trip, so no way.
2006-10-27 09:33:14 · update #2
She is a friend, but not a best friend or anthing, since I moved from where she lives, we only talk on the phone once every couple of months
2006-10-27 09:34:57 · update #3
I would just tell her the truth and let whatever happens happen. That's hard to say but needs to be done sometimes. If she is your good friend, she should understand.
2006-10-27 09:31:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, not unfair. Maybe even not unfeeling since you seem to care about this situation and how it will effect your friend.
Do you have family that can care for your sick son for the weekend? It's only 4 hours away. You can go in time to make the wedding and reception. Skip the alchohol and drive home after the reception. You only need a sitter for a day and your son will have more fevers in the future that you can keep an eye on. No, you won't be a terrible mother for leaving your sick son in the care of another. Your husband can't afford one day off work? Doesn't sound like a work environment I'd ever want to stay with! Maybe he really just doesn't want to go to the wedding (I use work as an excuse now and then); no point challenging him on this, you'll just get in a fight over it.
Should you stay or should you go? It's up to you. Personal story: I didn't go to a good friends wedding (and for a lousy reason, but I lied) and I regret it to this day. After that I vowed to never miss a wedding, a funeral, a graduation, etc., again.
Thnk about it and do the right thing; only you will know what that is.
2006-10-27 09:39:32 · answer #2 · answered by OU812 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how good a friend she is. Realizing it will be a pain in the @ss to get your stuff together and go, especially with a sick child, but this is a huge day in your friends life. If your not there to share it with her, she'll never forget your absence. I guess if I were you, I would try to imagine I was her, and try to feel as she would if you were the one getting married and she didn't show up. Being 7 1/2 months pregnant has nothing to do with the emotions she's feeling because people are canceling. She feels abandoned and she's right to some extent.
2006-10-27 09:48:22 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you're not being a bad friend, it's your friend that's being un reasonable, she should understand that things come up at the last minute and as for her almost being a mom her self she should ask herself if she would want to make her sick children go someplace that's 4 hours away. While weddings are stressful so isn't being sick and having a sick children and a husband with an important job!
2006-10-27 09:32:15 · answer #4 · answered by Goddess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ouch.. that is a rough situation. im sorry you have this dilemma
is it possible for you to go yourself, just for the ceremony possibly leaving your 2 year old with someone else to care for, that way you make an appearance, say your congrats and give your gift.
if it isnt really possible and will be very difficult to get around seeing that it is a 4 hour drive, although your friend is stressed and upset now, she probably wont be as much so after her wedding is over, you could skip it
if you decide against going, make sure you pass on your best wishes, your gift and sincerely apologize for not going
once all the commotion of her wedding is over, she should be more understanding..
good luck!
2006-10-27 09:37:02 · answer #5 · answered by nicoles1504 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put yourself in her shoes. I did not show up at one of my friends weddings and she was mad seriously mad, so you may want to get a sitter and go and have a good time. Dayquil on up and drive, you'll feel better about it come Sunday evening, hubby will still have work and baby still will be sick but at some point you will have a good time. You deserve the break. This is her big day and no matter how trivial it may seem to all, the more the merrier.
2006-10-27 09:38:11 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like your friend is just really stressed out and not thinking clearly. She doesn't really want you there if you and your daughter are sick. That is only going to get more people sick. Plus if you are stressed that is only going to make if worse for your friend. Send a nice card saying you are sorry that you can't make it, but wish her the best. Unless it is a really small wedding, she probably won't even remember you weren't there.
Get some rest and don't stress yourself out about this.
2006-10-27 09:33:57 · answer #7 · answered by MeShell 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way you can talk to her about it. She must be a mess right about now. If you can't go you can't go! When its all said and done she will understand. (She is pregnant. So she understands the importance of a child)
Don't feel too bad about not going. She will have so much going on that day. You not going will be a footnote at best. Just do your best to send your love and a gift if you can.
2006-10-27 09:35:34 · answer #8 · answered by Mr.Know It All 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your son is sick and you don't have anyone to watch your son, don't go. (I suggest not to leave your son with a baby sitter. If you can, leave him with trustable family member) You are not being unfair at all! You are just concern about the well being of your son, If she is your good friend, she should understand the situation! Hope you and your son will feel better soon. Take care :-)
2006-10-27 09:36:01 · answer #9 · answered by sunflower222 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is understandable that you do not want to go under the circumstances.... but your girlfriend is getting married... it is not like you can postpone this date... think about all she went through planning her day and wanting to share it with her friends and family... the gown, fittings, cake, catering... omg... I am getting stressed just thinking about it all... find a babysitter, and even if your husband does not want to go because of work... pack up your over night bag and get there to share this day with your friend.... you will never be able to replace the memories that you will lose if you do not go
2006-10-27 09:35:08 · answer #10 · answered by oracle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As for your husband not attending you could definately go without him. However, you need to determine if being 4 hours away from your sick child is something you can handle. Since the bride is pregnant I wouldn't want to expose her to the sickness that is in your home, it is not safe for her or her baby.
Stay home, she'll get over it.
2006-10-27 09:36:43 · answer #11 · answered by Tiffany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋