Okay, I have been with my husband for 4 years. I am bi-polar and have always been. I communicate often to him when I am manic or depressed (as much as I can), if there is a change in medicine, etc. I go to therapy regularly to work on my issues as well. The problem is that my husband regularly gets violent, he doesn't hit me, but he destroys our home. He destroys doors, holes in walls, kicks in doors. We just bought this home and he is literally destroying it. My son got so tired of walking on eggshells that he has moved to my parents house and he is 15. I had to call th cops yesterday as his anger once again got out of control and this time he punched glass and his hands are all cut up! I believe we need to separate as does he. Can we work this out? He wants to blame all of his violent behavior on me. He is EXTREMELY ANGRY THAT I CALLED THE POLICE. He says he will never forgive me for calling cops but I didn't know how to get his violence to stop!
2006-10-27 08:37:26 · 8 answers · asked by alysha 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What an explosive combination the two of you are. I have been married to a bi-polar lady for quite some time now and it is very tough at times when you have a very level temperament. I could not imagine what it would be like if I had a very hostile or violent streak like your husband seems to have. Forget the blame and who is to fault, it sounds like the two of you need to split up for safety's sake if nothing else. Then each of you need to get help and see if there is anything you can do to work things out. But if he is on a violent hot streak and you hit a manic episode, there is no telling what could happen.
2006-10-27 08:51:50 · answer #1 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because he hasn't hit you, doesn't mean that it isn't abuse honey. There is actually a book called "stop walking on eggshells" that may be helpful to you. There is also a book called "too good to leave, too bad to stay" that would also be very helpful to you. You need to get out of the situation, for yourself and for your child, before it gets worse. Easier said than done, I know, but it's only a matter of time sweetie, before he hits one of you. Get help, call your church or local womens shelter or family members. Good luck to you and be safe. It will be hard, but better to be a sorrowful survivor of domestic violence than a dead victim and it WILL get better once you leave. You and your son can start to heal together. He needs you now and your husband needs very serious therapy, if not jail time.
2006-10-27 08:55:28 · answer #2 · answered by luvbabysky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well calling the police for help is better than them finding you on the floor knocked unconsious!
Sounds like your husband needs to deal with his anger issues, and I just want you to know, that although he is blaming you, he is not taking responsibility. YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE in anyway shape or form, for HIS behaviour. He has to own that. No matter what his trigger points are, or what sets him off, he has no right throwing tantrums and acting infantile.
Have you tried marriage councilling? Only the both of you know when your marriage has had its limit when you both should go your seperate ways, but you both have to think of your son, and he needs councilling wether or not the both of you stay together. Your son needs to talk about his issues, and needs to know that violence is unacceptable in any relationship.
Regardless, your husband needs help, and untill he does, the violence will eventually land on you, with a blow to the face, or grabbing your arm , shoving you, only you can put a stop to it. You cannot enable your husbands behaviour and you need to let him know, perhaps both of you look at the statistics of family violence together???? you being bi polar has nothing to do with his violence. He needs to show you understanding and compassion and right now it sounds like it's all about him. Sometime in your relationship you will have to come to the conclusion of what is healthy and what is a toxic relationship and if this is worth fixing or not.
2006-10-27 08:52:44 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I REALLY THINK YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!! Red flags every were!! I really think your husband NEEDS counseling for his anger. He might not hit you now, but if he is already blaming YOU for his issues, eventually he will hit you, or God forbid, worse. If your son moved out, that should have been enough for you to leave. Your child should have came first! PLEASE, open your eyes to the danger you are in. God Bless
2006-10-27 09:01:09 · answer #4 · answered by purpledragonflyjrh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out.
This violence also will also make it harder for you to deal with being bi polar. With you, this kind of stress can only make it more difficult for you - emotional and physical. For yourself and your son, move on.
2006-10-27 08:43:17 · answer #5 · answered by jak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry about it stopping. I would get away as soon as possible. You are working on yourself, and he is certainly not being very supportive or helpful. I would just get my son and take care of the two of you, don't waste your time worrying about him...
2006-10-27 08:43:33 · answer #6 · answered by dreamofme0202 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to leave him at once otherwise you will be next he will hit you to and when he get angry call the cops is the right thing to do
2006-10-27 08:42:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is bipolar also. My husband has moods like that. Men's symptoms differ from women's. Think about it.
2006-10-27 08:53:39 · answer #8 · answered by lilac b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋