This is going to sound kinda selfish but i'll ask anyway. I'm 22 and am 37 weeks pregnant. I have graduated from college, have a stable career, and am married. Anyway my step-mom is pregnant with triplets (invetro pregnancy) she is 28 weeks pregnant. When I told my father that i was pregnant he told me he was not happy to be a grandfather (not very good to hear when your 3 months pregnant). It upset me to hear that she got herself pregnant. I feel like she is trying to take attention away from my pregnancy. Has anyone ever had to go through this. Should I tell them how I feel about there pregnancy??
2006-10-27 08:32:03 · 7 answers · asked by marie_amanda2003 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I should also tell you that my father is in his 40 him and my mom where divorced when i was seven. Him and his new wife have a 6 year old daughter. My father and I have not had the best relationship. She is 37 and has 2 other children. I have not said anything because I didn't want to be mean.
2006-10-27 09:02:30 · update #1
Well you father shouldn't say that to you. How would he like it if you said, well I'm not ready to an Aunt right now.
She sounds like a meanie! Tell them both how you feel. If they don't like it, distance yourself from them. The joy you will have from your new baby will outweight everything they say and do.
2006-10-27 08:38:11 · answer #1 · answered by bamagrits84 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yours is an unusual question, but here goes!
No, you're not selfish. Under normal circumstances this would be a joyful time for your father as he becomes a Grandfather (possibly for the first time), however, at the same time he is becoming a father again with a new wife and he is trying to maintain the idea that he is young (can you see how the reality in unsettling for him?)
His comment that he is not ready to be a grandfather was not tactful.
However, your step-mother didn't get herself pregnant - your dad did that and I'm sure they will have their hands full with three babies. I'm sure she didn't have invitro just to up-stage you.
Meanwhile, you are close to your delivery. Try to be at peace with all of this. I hope you have a loving and supportive husband and I hope you have a great delivery and a contented baby!
Don't forget though, time passes quickly and those babies are your (half) sisters / brothers and will be aunts / uncles to your baby.
Try to keep a sense of humour and imagine the confusion at family reunions a few years from now!
2006-10-27 15:52:39 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on, do you really think someone would go through in vitro fertilization and go on to have triplets if she really didn't want to be pregnant?? This is absurd. There is no way she got pregnant just to "take attention away" from your pregnancy! She probably just wanted a baby. You don't mention the woman's age or whether this is her first baby? Besides, there should be plenty of attention for both of you, so don't worry about her taking attention away. Also, you will probably be giving birth first, so that'll show her!!
Your father was a jerk to tell you that he wasn't happy for your pregnancy. But rise above and please don't say anything ugly to your stepmom. Just say congratulations and that you wish the best for her, etc.
2006-10-27 15:39:20 · answer #3 · answered by EmLa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never been in the situation you find yourself in but I think you definitely need to talk to your dad and your stepmom. Maybe your father thinks that by becoming a dad again he's still young and not ready to believe that he has a child old enough to have a child of her own. He could be sacred about becoming a dad again and triplets no less. Regardless of his reasons, he shouldn't have said that to you. Pregancy is supposed to be a joyous time and everyone should be thrilled about the impending new arrival. You need to sit down with your dad and your stepmom and lay it all out and see where everyone is coming from. If you don't, you will harbor anger and resentment toward your dad and you need to be able to enjoy your pregnancy and all that comes with it. If you try talking and you get nowhere and you still feel hurt then you need to distance yourself and put all your energy into your growing family. Good luck!
2006-10-27 15:45:03 · answer #4 · answered by svg7373 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello,There,i think you must have a true conversation with your father,and with your step-mom,also look if she is taken away your pregnancy that is wrong,because you two are pregnancy see that is the most beautifull thing in the world,is the life being with life inside you,the POWER of giving a new Human Being to the world.
The other point is that all people that are pregnancy want more attention,listen if you two talk each other (you and your step mom) you will see that both will have attention.
Congratulations to be Pregnancy.
2006-10-27 15:46:01 · answer #5 · answered by Paulo Nandes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never been in that situation, but it does sound like she's trying to steal your thunder a bit. How old is your mom? She's probably too old to be having children anyway--let alone triplets. Let her know how you feel. You have to be open and honest with her or your feelings will just build up inside of you.
2006-10-27 15:35:16 · answer #6 · answered by CelebrateMeHome 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is sad that there are these feelings. This should be a special time with your family. I would talk to him..maybe he has mixed feelings about becoming a father again. Good luck
2006-10-27 15:36:46 · answer #7 · answered by Chris 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋