I just found out that I'm pregnant. I don't want to have an aboriton but everyone keeps telling me I should. It's so irritating. I want to keep my child. What can I do to prevent my parents, friends, and family to get off my back and let me live my life?
2006-10-27 08:09:44 · 40 answers · asked by Lola© 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Please be nice. I asked it last night an had TONS of rude answers!
2006-10-27 08:10:17 · update #1
I'm fifteen but I'll be sixteen when the baby and a half when the comes.
As for my boyfriend which I know everyone will ask about. He's a close friend of the families and supports me. He has insurance so the fact that I'd be a welfare case is not true. We love each other and our parents (if I have the baby) will sign to let me marry him--only because it's wrong to have a child out of wedlock.
2006-10-27 08:14:21 · update #2
We are NOT two teenagers. He has been by my side my whole life. He is 22 years old and owns three homes to which he is renting out--as well as his own home.
2006-10-27 08:19:20 · update #3
You are very young, please make sure you think of the long term implications of any choice you make regarding your pregnancy.
If you want to keep your baby, talk to your family and make sure that they know you have made your choice. Assure them that you have thought about your decision, and the long term effects, and you have made up your mind!
To jennanderton2006 - it is not her parent's decision, it is her decision, regardless of her age.
When I became pregnant at age 16 - my parents made sure that I was educated as to all of my options, but never pushed me one way or the other. They knew that the decision had to be mine and they let me make it! My son was born when I was 17 - he is now a happy, healthy, AMAZING 16 year old!
Best of luck to you!
2006-10-27 08:23:43 · answer #1 · answered by tweeteebrrd 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First things first-as long as you and he both realize the responsibility that comes with being a parent, and you are both willing to accept it and do what needs to be done to raise the child properly, then I dont think that it is anyone else's business what you do. I think the mere fact that you are willing to accept the consequences of your actions and grow up shows that you just may be mature enough to handle the situation. Just because you are only 15 does not mean you dont have a right to choose. A lot of girls your age are using abortion as a form of birth control, and I commend you for not considering that option.
However, be aware. This means that your teenage years are OVER. YOU no longer come first. The child does. You can't just run off and go out with friends whenever they call. You will have to get up in the middle of the night with a sick child. You will have to miss work sometimes to take the baby to the doctor. And what about school? And the father says he will be there now, but trust me honey, from experience, they dont always stick to their word. You have a lot of thinking to do and a very tough decision to make. I am not in any way suggesting abortion. But adoption is also an option. Please keep your mind open to this option as well. You need to what is best for the baby. Good luck and best wishes for whatever decision you make.
2006-10-27 08:24:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The most probable reason for friends/family encouraging terminating your pregnancy is that they are concerned for you and your future baby. If you want to keep this baby, friends and family are going to be a very important support system. You need to involve them, not push them away, even though you might be tempted. So, why are they concerned? Do you have a plan for how you are going to care for the child, pay for the upbringing of a child, do you have medical insurance, is where you live a good place for a child, are you willing to commit your entire life to raising this child? If you can draw up a plan, and show your friends and fam you are putting thought into this (as any responsible parent should) you may even be able to get help from them in figuring out how you are going to handle this. Parenting is the biggest responsibility you will ever have, don't take this lightly.
2006-10-27 08:22:29 · answer #3 · answered by Caper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just want to say a little something in reference to all of the comments on "teenagers not being capeable of raising a child".
I was married at 16. I was not pregnant when he and I were wed, however, I did get pregnant about 3 months later. I was 17 years old when my daughter was born. My husband was 23 when she was born. I had a VERY supportive family. I do agree that there are A LOT of teens that do not have the emotional, and mental maturity to care for a child on a full time basis, and endure the trial and error of parenting. It takes a lot of love and patience. It also takes knowledge and common sense. Children are blessings from God, no matter how old the parents are, or what the parents should or shouldn't have done. Regardless of the fact that the child may or may not be born out of wedlock doesn't mean that that child isn't a miracle. Some of the worlds greatest people were products of their parents not being wed, and the mother being pregnant.
Let me ask you all something:
I am going to give you a senario, I want you to choose if you would abort the baby, or let the pregnancy progress and create new life.
Senario: Young Teenage Girl, not married, is engaged, pregnant, but the baby is not her fiance'. Many Many people are discouraged by the fact that this child is pregnant at SUCH a young age.
Now, you choose, would you suggest she abort, or have the child??
For those of you have chose abortion, you would have just killed Jesus Christ.
Mary, a young teenage, pregnant girl, was to be married to Joseph. By miracle of God, the virgin Mary carried baby Jesus in her womb.
Now, of course we all know that won't ever happen again. I am just saying... abortion is totally wrong.
Teenage mothers ARE capeable of raising a child. The choice is theirs, and theirs alone. Abortion, unfortunatly IS legal in the USA. Adoption is a wonderful thing. I suggest any one that is expecting a miracle, but doesn't feel like they could handle carring for and raising a child, please allow the baby to be put up for adoption. Why kill (abort) an innocent child just because you aren't ready to accept the production of sex. If you don't think you are ready to be a parent... Then keep you legs shut! I hate to put it like that, but it's the truth. This goes for guys too... if you cna't handle the responsibility of being a father... keep your penis in your pants.
I try not to judge people based on their decisions in life, but don't be stupid... if you are "mature" enough to have sexual intercourse, then step up to the plate and be ready to be a parent if need be. Life isn't always going to be easy. Parenting is DEFFINATLY not going to be easy. With GODS help, anything is possible. If you have questions, or don't know where to turn for help. I promise you that every answer you will ever need for anything is located in the Holy Bible. You just have to know where to look. If your not sure where to look in there, then just start fomr the beginning and read on until you find the answer. :) :)
May God Bless.
remember, God loves everyone regardless of their sins. No sin is unforgiveable. Ask His forgiveness, and ask Him into your heart if He is not already there. Allow Christ to guide you through life, and I PROMISE on everything that things will be easier.
2006-10-27 08:48:56 · answer #4 · answered by Sarah M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is VERY serious!! No rude answers from me.
How you handle this will depend on how old you are. You may be too young for this responsibility. You can always go the adoption route. It wouldn't make you a bad person. Personally, I couldn't have an abortion but I try not to judge those that do. But, you can't please everyone. I'm sure there are places you can go for help if you decide to carry and possibly keep the child. What about the father? Does he want you to have an abortion too?? You may need to ask yourself WHY you don't want an abortion. Is it because you're afraid it will hurt, you'll ruin chances for future children, you think you're killing a living being?
As far as living your own life you just have to put your foot down and stop letting people tell you what to do. Obviously if you're a minor you'll have to listen to your parents. Unfortunately, I don't know if they can legally MAKE you do it but I seriously doubt they can.
Best of luck to you!
2006-10-27 08:22:30 · answer #5 · answered by Georgia Girl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it's really a tough decision. and depending on how far along you are, you have a little time to decide. age is a big factor, as is money. can you feasibly support a child and give it a good life? would the father be present? as much as you have a right to decide, the child, should you decide to keep it, has a right to a decent life. if you don't want to have an abortion, but are too young/ can't support it sufficiently, there's always the option of an open adoption. (call planned parenthood, they will tell you all about this or hook you up with someone who can)there are SO many couples now who can't have a child of their own, and would be willing to allow a birth mother visitation, pictures, etc...take some time. you don't have to decide right away, and it's no one's choice but yours, but there is another life involved that needs to be seriously considered. good luck.
2006-10-27 08:21:00 · answer #6 · answered by nerdophile_k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't tell me how old you are, so here is an answer for under 18 and one for over 18. If you are uder 18, an abortion is something you should consider, a baby is a huge undertaking and should only be attempted by mature adults. If you are over 18, tell these people to mind their own damn business, go find a good job so you can support you and the baby, and be happy for the rest of your life. GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-10-27 08:19:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the way I see it and I know what its like because I was only 15 when I got pregnant and everyone wanted me to do the same thing. You need to come right out and don't be afraid to hurt anyones feelings, tell them to lay off. Its your body, your baby, your life, your decision! I went to work and supported my baby all by myself while still going to high school. It was hard, but I did it. Now she is almost 13 and I am so glad I didn't listen to anyone! I don't know how old you are, you didn't say but whatever you do, don't kill your innocent baby... There are way to many other options if keeping the baby becomes an issue for you. I wish you the best of luck!
2006-10-27 08:18:59 · answer #8 · answered by Jen 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
stand by your decision. it may take your whole pregnancy for people to come to acceptance, but be prepared to face all the pressures and stress of having a baby at such a young age and all the grief your family and friends are giving you. You have to accept that things will not be perfect, but if you choose to have the baby then stand by your choice and fight it. Remeber things will get better in time and eventually everyone will probably grow to love that baby. As for the guy, I hope he will be there for you and is prepared to support you in the ways that you need, especially the emotional roller coster of everything. Whatever you do dont give up on school either. Make a list of pros and cons to help you with your decision. Best of luck ;)
2006-10-27 08:28:30 · answer #9 · answered by estkijedsco 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hey Hun this is a very tough decision to make and i am very sorry you have to make it. If you do have an abortion just remember it is YOUR choice.. that is your body and nobody can tell you what to do with it. If you are not comfortable with the idea of abortion there are thousands of people that would love to adopt a baby and will take wonderful care of it. If you do have the abortion get it done AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!!! If you want to have your baby and take care of it there are alot of programs out there to help you. medicaid, welfare and even some churches will help you if you need funding. from the sounds of things your parents wont help you if you do have the baby so you might need the extra help. Just a word of warning ... if you do have the abortion mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for it. its very hard to cope with for some people. and you can take it back. when its done its done.. If i were you i would call a planned parenthood and set a meeting up with them to discus all of your options.. GOOD LUCK WITH THIS.. I am sure you will make the right choice for YOU.
2006-10-27 08:19:32 · answer #10 · answered by Steph y 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
first of all i hope the dad is going to be there for you . second you should have the child . youre to young for this . there are plenty of people out there willing to handle all the medical expenses for you to have this child and adopt it to them . look at youre parents point of view they are takening on another child. at least you can know who the child went to and later on when you get older and the child is ready . to be determined by the adopted parents you can meet up with the child or even see him or her grow up ..as far as liveing youre life if you keep the child you wont have no life . if the dad isnt gonna stay with you do you think that any guy is gonna wanna go out with a girl that has a kid at such a young age live youre life . do whats right just dont have a abortion
2006-10-27 08:19:11 · answer #11 · answered by james w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋